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That Horrid Forum

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru June 2002 » Archive Thru April 2002 » That Horrid Forum « Previous Next »

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Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 10:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

well speaking of dicks I need to go to the bathroom where all the dicks hang out. HA...HA... get it all hang out thats some funny shit god I kill myself... oh wait we have already had one person maybe kill them self, shit I dont mean I will kill my self I mean oh fuck it you know what i mean

Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 2:36 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post



Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 2:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I used to have this whole big routine about making a musical based on Moby Dick, and calling it "DICK!" I had some songs (ever tried to rhyme "Quequeg"?), a couple of little dances, it was a laugh-riot.

Then I found out that Cameron Macintosh actually had a Moby Dick musical in the works.

The lesson: no matter how hard you try, there is no better parody of real life than real life.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 1:43 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Lumpy pig!

We of the Peoples Army To Resist Lumpy Cereal will never rest until your evil lumps have been made smooth!

Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 12:51 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I declare this the "Peoples Republic of Lumps in My Oatmeal"
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 12:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

That's why he's the King!
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 2:41 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

My, My, my. I thought I was the the King.
Heady Youngman in fact. You can be Dick,
Ahab, Godzilla, take your pick.

About one liners,
"Go Fuck yourself Asshole"

That's a good one.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 1:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


you got your Buddha vibe happening. keep it going brother.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 1:52 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Marc, you can be Moby Dick if you want to. I will then be Moby Duck.

I'd have called out Head for calling you Moby Dick just as fast as I did for myself, anyway, old friend.

Admin, pls change my handle forthwith to Moby_Duck.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 1:48 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

shit, I thought I was Moby Dick.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 1:36 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hey, Head:

GO FUCK YOURSELF, you one liner asshole.

Moby Dick, eh? Well, better than a bottom dwelling eel like you.

As to the King, if you mean Ted, do you really regard it as a cause for you all to celebrate if Ted, noblest of us all, declines to participate in what this place has spitalled downwards into?
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 11:25 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I think I swallowed a bug
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 8:00 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

It's really hard, I'll admit.
To make any sense at all of
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:56 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I dunno, I thought this was pretty good:


I read the best minds of my generation
destroyed by Absinthe,
boring irrelevant pathetic,
posting their drivel
in the Pimp Ass Forum at dawn
looking for a nudie pic,

Prosthesis-headed mouthbreathers
yearning for good old Forum days
and the chocolate anus winos
in the mundanity of night,

Who obesity and tatters
and sheh-doobeh,

Shallow-minded and high strung
sucking in the nupercanal
blemish of hot-wax rats
skimming across the surface
like a bubble
but never popping,

Who bared their privates to Kallisti
under influence of alcohol and saw
Ozwaldian Ozmen staggering in bunny
slippers all light up(like christmas trees),

Who skated through universities
with chlorine red eyes
feeling California and
Looking Minnesota
trudgery among the
scholars of bores,

Who were driven from the
shadows for lazy poems &
posting banal odes on
the monitors of the numbskull,

Who squatted in bald beaver
spas in sirongs,
tucking their money
in G-strings and listening
to the Bass thump the wall,

that is all...

Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:45 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Don't worry.

Pikkle is on a mission to eliminate Col. Headz... with extreme predjudice.

"The horror, the horror..."
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:41 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


a little lunacy would be a pleasant change from the slobbering rants of the brain dead,
sexually frusrtrated and socially retarded turd barons that have come to rule this rancid patch of cyber space. keeping company with these drooling geeks has thrown you off your game. you need some healthy competition. your dominion of nerds, the scrotum suckers that nip at your purple and swollen nut sacks, have turned you fat and lazy. too much pong has further eroded the little bit of spark that pulsed behind your a pod person from Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, you look and smell like head, but something is wrong, terribly wrong. where once was a master of the surreal and absurd, there now lurks a minion of mediocrity. where is the real head? who is this husk of flesh that mimics the once mighty prosthesis? from whence did this impersonator, this poseur, this giant used condom,
come? my fear is that the real head is being held hostage in some rural, backwater town in Michigan.
perhaps he's being studied by visitors from another planet. i can imagine him splayed out on a cold marble slab, his bulging prosthesis bisected, its wonders spilling onto the marble like a psychedelic soup, its myriad of textures
and colors prodded and poked by long otherworldly
fingers. so terrifying and yet so beautiful.
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:34 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

To: Tenants of Hollywest Apt.
Of: Sergio & Lilian Mayorga

Please of attending to the following arrangements, that will be effective from today on. Steps & corridors, courtyards and gardens lastly they have been affected with much garbage, and cigars and glue stubs of masticating, therefore we thank to collaborate so that the building is seeing but clean.
Soon we go to paint again the second floor and the steps, therefore you we requested be careful of not to stain the floor mainly iwth the garbage bags that draw to throw.
Due to the damages that delinquent of the street made to the laundry lastly, from today on, it will be closed all the given of 10 of the night to 7 of the tomorrow. New we have tenants, therefore you we requested to observe the parking lot and to use only the one which has been assigned to you, of the contrary must tow your car with the crane. Visitors have to parking in the street.
For the good hygiene in the parking, you we requested not to throw food to the cats from the windows, neither to put it on those areas for good in all as a rule.
Thanks to all because has reduced the bustle mainly by the nights and that is well for all, also thanks for helping us to the fact that are not destroyed the ports of entry.

Att. Sergio and Lilian

Everyone move to the People's Republic of Kalifornia, NOW! Where English is still taught as a second language...
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:04 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

aye, methinks there is something rotten in the state of Denmark...
Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2002 - 7:02 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

It is no longer Moby Dick's playground. The lunatics have taken over.

And the King has lost his throne...

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