Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List Edit Profile Register  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Archive through April 11, 2002

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru June 2002 » Archive Thru April 2002 » Damn it: Working Announcement » Archive through April 11, 2002 « Previous Next »

Author Message
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 6:31 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Mr. Sane, it's considered rude to type in all caps as it looks like you are yelling. It would be much friendlier if you said, whatever it is you're saying, using lower case.

Back to your regular program ...
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 6:28 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:32 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

True enough. You are down for 'slips in shower' in two months.
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:23 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I generally don't trust American history. For all I know, Fredrick Douglass may not have even existed. John Waters though, he is a living prophet. Don't tell me that the connection you have made isn't earth-shattering, it is, and what more, this week marks the period that Crowley was given the book of the law, and even though he was a shitty writer the implications can't be ignored! I was meant not to die in my suicide attempt. I can see that now....
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:23 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

What about Formstone?

Ah, Baltimore. I did some of my best being corrupted in that town...
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

It all makes sense now. Ginsberg, Pia Zadora; John waters already brought them together! He predicted my predicament. The worst part of it is, this morning I woke up in bed yelling, "where's my egg-man, I want my egg-man!" for no apparent reason. My god, what does it all mean?
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:10 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

But aren't you proud of Baltimore's adopted son, Frederick Douglass?
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 5:08 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Wow. Nice connection Chevalier. John Waters is about the only thing I am ... lets just say uneasily proud of in Maryland, my home state. What a sad thing that he is our claim to fame. I guess the Terps count too. Woot Woot!!!!!
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 4:54 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Any former child Martian who pretends to read "Howl" is all right by me. Looks like she was caught biting her nails.
my picture
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 4:12 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Why, oh why, di you have to bring up Pia Zadora, The only woman I ever REALLY loved!
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:56 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Glad to hear that you have not assumed room temperature
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:56 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Too late. I think my hamster just hung himself in a fit of rage and protest over you.

I don't have a fucking hamster. What am I saying?

Is the forum insanity contagious????

God help us all...
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:18 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Sorry for the scare guys. My attempt to kill myself failed, much like my attempt to rectify the forums predicament. No I am not merged with the infinite, at least not in the sense you were talking about. I am back to my dismal uninteresting life; my head clear of the absinthe that fueled my lust for suicide. I am no Pia Zadora, I haven't the strength to hide away. No I, the proverbial fool, have returned for more humiliation and degradation.

And yes, I am in a prison of sorts, thus the shoelaces. I am attending a state university, and they deny students access to any item they could use to harm themselves (suicides at universities, especially technical institutions, are on the rise). No rope or metal utensils etc. Many stressed and discouraged students simply try to drink themselves to death. But how passé is that?

And I am also a drama queen (or king, or drag queen or something). I like romance novels. They get me wet before I dive into the bra section of my JC Penny’s catalog. My absinthe habit has even made it impossible for me to afford quality porn. What have I become I ask? I am the Frankenstein of the absinthe community.

The only thing that saved me I think was the knowledge that there are still warm orifices out there. Thank you Head. And I also want to see Puff the Magic Dragon crucify himself. The strange things that keep us going....
Melodramatically yours,

Oh yea, no protest suicides please! I am not worth the effort I’m afraid. But if you insist you have to do something cool like crucify yourself on the hood of an old pick up truck totally naked except for an American flag over your genitals. Then get a friend to drive you up and down the highway at 90 mph while screaming, "the end is coming". That would freak people out. At least where I live it would.
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 8:21 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Put your orifice away please he is now floating through the galaxies in the lotus position.
The drum-majorettes are marching and the band is playing 'America, America'.
Too bad...
"How about a beer everybody? How many beers in the fridge?'"
"Zero beers," a voice called from the back.
The bodyguard, in a black sweat-shirt, flexed his biceps.
Now look at yourself. You're a wimp!'
"I'm Christ. I swear to God, in person, and I'm about to turn this foolish world upside down."
I am master of my own fate and I'm going to outfox them all.
Puff the Magic Dragon rushed in from another room and hugged my knees. 'Daddy,' he shouted, 'Daddee ...'
"'I'm not Daddy," I said, "That Dragons drugged". I unclasped his arms and knelt down.
Sure he's drugged, he's going to crucify HIMSELF.
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 7:13 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Here nipple, nipple, nipple...

...warm orifice!!!
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 7:06 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

A comedy about a man who tries in vain to end his own life by slicing his throat and removing his innards.
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 6:56 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If meat nipples has not merged with the infinite, I will kill myself in protest...
goodbye, cruel world!
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 6:16 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Please think about being an organ donor.
[I'm not. I'm rotten inside]
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 3:36 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


nipple may be taking the piss out on us. certainly he would have access to rope.
is our young nipple a drama queen who has
read too many cheap romance novels? is he perhaps our own male Pia Zadora?

come out nipple, wherever you are.
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 3:27 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

>Guess it’s down to the shoelaces….

is meat nipples in prison?
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 3:04 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'm concerned. the forum may have its first casualty. I'm shocked that the forum admin. has not made any effort to determine whether or not we have blood on our hands. Where is the coldhearted uncaring kallisti?
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 1:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I fear the young and vulnerable nipple may have
hurled himself into the absolute.

nipple, are you okay?
Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2002 - 12:28 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

don't do it. you are young. the pain and humiliation will pass. be strong.
Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - 10:58 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

In light of all the recent grumbling that new members are “anarchistic” “lunatics” who are contributing to the forums decay, I have decided to do the only thing I know that can rectify the situation.

I am aware that I am one of these people most of you find annoying. I am not like the rest of you. I did learn English as a second language; guttural farm talk is my primary. I am a sexually frustrated geek as well. As I type this, my flaccid post-seed member is sandwiched between the pages of a Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalog. I like Ginsberg, but only because he was Jewish and homoerotic, not because I understand a damn thing he wrote.

I had thought that my love and respect for absinthe would be enough for me to find my place here. I was wrong. I wanted desperately to fit in. I know I have not contributed anything to the forum. I am shy. I did not want to chance alienating myself from any of you, whom I greatly admire. Well, the time to entertain such pretenses is over for me. I’m sure I must be boring you all to death.

Which brings me to my initial point. I will set things right.
I fear I have no choice but to kill myself.

Now don’t try and stop me, I desperately need the attention. And maybe a little sympathy too. I have attempted to access a world that was not meant for me, that’s too good for me. I apologize, but can you blame me for being ambitious? I suppose I, like Caesar, shall die at the hands of my wild ambition. Thank you forum, you have revealed all about me I ever needed to know….

Meat Nipples

P.S. I wish I had spent more money on some decent rope instead of my excessive absinthe habit. I can’t hang myself with an absinthe spoon can I? You would think somebody’s done it by now (try slitting your wrists with one of SC’s spoons, now that takes ambition) . Guess it’s down to the shoelaces….


Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page