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Maui Questions

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru June 2002 » Archive Thru May 2002 » Maui Questions « Previous Next »

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Posted on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 9:57 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Also, the best beach on Maui is "Big Beach." It's south of Kihei in Makena. It has a great view of a cinder cone and of Molokini. It is undeveloped and truly a gem. We went there nearly every day. The water is crystal clear, and you may see some rays, turtles, and maybe some reef sharks there.

Good snorkeling is just south of there at Ahihi Bay, which is a nature preserve. Tons of parrot fish, eels, butterfly and racoon fish (is that what they're called?), and maybe even a humuhumunukunukuapau'a, if you're lucky.

My favorite place for snorkeling, though, is Ulua Beach. It's a nice little beach in Wailea with a reef formation that juts out from shore. Within twenty feet of shore, expect to see trumpet fish and all kinds of cool stuff. Bar none, it is the easiest and most accessible snorkeling I've encountered.

Finally, when you do the trip to Hana (and have done the Waimoku Falls hike at the end there), check with the rangers about the road conditions past there. If dry, take that road instead of backtracking the road to Hana. The guide books and car rental agencies will try to scare you from doing this, but I've done it twice and it was awesome. The road is gravel in parts and paved in others, and it will eventually spill out onto the nicely paved highway 31 and lead you back to home. Anyway, you'll save time and not have to repeat the 600+ hairpin curves (no joke) and you'll also get to see some amazing sea scapes, waterfalls, lava flows, villages, and more. You said you wanted to do something not-touristy? This is it.

Posted on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 9:37 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


Another tip: if you decide to go fishing, spend the extra money and charter a boat for just the two of you. I went on a boat with a bunch of yokels and they charged us $125 apiece for a half day. What they don't tell you beforehand is that if/when they hook into a big fish, then is has to be "your" line that hooked it for you to reel it in (randomly assigned numbers). So we negotiated with the captain a couple days later and chartered the boat ourselves (two of us) for $400 for a full day. We were out on the water for nearly twelve hours, and food and beer were provided. It was amazing. We saw some pilot whales, saw the sea cliffs of Molokai, and caught a big ono (or wahoo) and some tuna (and hooked into a big galapgos shark, which we let go, needless to say). They fileted the tuna for us on the boat and we had fresh sashimi for five days afterwards. Anyway, the $400 bucks was totally worth it for an experience of a lifetime, and it really wasn't much more expensive to do it that way.

And seriously, don't miss the luau. The Old Lahaina is very romantic, in both senses of the word.

Finally, if you decide you want to stock up on a few Hawaiian shirts and dresses when you get there, there is a "Ross Dress for Less" store in Kahalui (it's a clothing store/dept. store with cheap prices: you'll be the only non-islanders in the's kind of like Marshall's, if you have that where you live). My wife and I bought a lot of stuff there: cheaper than the tourist places, and the prints are more like what the kama'aina (locals) wear. Don't be afraid: everyone wears Hawaiian shirts. Check out the local council meetings on cable access if you don't believe me: they're all wearing Hawaiian shirts, shorts, and leis.

Can you tell I like Maui?

Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 10:59 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Why don't you just go to Zug Island? It's cheaper even though the view isn't as nice...
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 10:52 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Oh yeah-

Thank you for the advice. My girlfriend and I really want to do the road to Hana and indulge in some serious snorkeling.

I'll be sure to post an excellent review (and maybe some pics) when I return.

Seriously though- how could I have gone to Toronto and stayed sane? I would've been paying about $600 for 3 nights there. Going to Maui- I'm paying $1250 for 7 nights. But my $1250 includes airfare from Detroit, first-class hotel lodging, car rental and a traditional fresh-flower lei greeting at the airport in Maui.

It's fucking MAUI!!!! I'd have been stupid to pass that one up. Hey- maybe I'll never come back. Then I'll NEVER get my order from Wolvie. (Not likely I'll get it any time soon anyhow...)
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 10:46 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hawaii? A State??? No!!!

I know it's a state. What I was saying was if any of you had gone, did you take any Absinthe (ie. smuggled) with you. And if you DID take Absinthe (ie. smuggled), what kind did you take.

I AM a fully educated adult male. I'm not one of those asses who took the recent college survey about our country and made today's youth look like fucking morons.

Alright. Glad that's settled.
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 9:35 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 9:01 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If you happen to contract leprosy there, spend the rest of your days falling to pieces at the Kalaupapa leper colony on Molokai island.

Seriously, it's a quite a story.
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 7:40 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

SUFING (n.), attending Sufi ritual with (unspoken) aim of sexual intercourse with other attendees.

See also: YOGLING
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 7:01 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yeah! What he said!!!
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 6:38 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 6:33 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

What's "Sufing?" Is that some sort of Sufi bashing?????????
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 6:04 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If you decide to do some sufing [better in winter]remember you are what the natives call "sharkbait".
Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 5:35 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Ho boy, choosing from Toronto and Maui. Hahaha what a joke !

Have fun and post us a pic or two on your way back!
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 11:12 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Maui no ka oi.

When entering a large group of Hawaiians, make sure you shout, "Hapa-haole wahine, wiki wiki!"

Just kidding.

Whatever you do, make sure you go to Hana. A few miles past Hana is a ranger's station and parking for Oheo Gulch, part of Haleakala Natl. Park. Find the trailhead and hike up to Waimoku Falls (400' tall). Great hike through bamboo forests and whatnot. Beautiful the whole way, full of smaller waterfalls and pools.

Do a luau at "Old Lahaina." It is the most authentic and intimate. Stay away from the other luaus: they suck.

If you do tours or entertainment of any kind (boat trips, luaus, whatever), book them through one of the zillion entertainment booking agencies you will see everywhere. It's much cheaper that way and you can get great last minute deals there.

Hawaii is touristy. There's no way around it. You are a tourist and your shit stinks. Just admit it, and you'll have a great time, you pale haole bastard.

Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 9:58 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

We stayed out at the Grand Wailea resort, which is a bit pricey, but we weren't paying... :)

Maui isn't very touristy, unless you look for it. I was pleasantly suprised - I thought all of Hawaii is trashed. They tell me that's only Oahu.

If you are renting a car - one piece of advice: They usually charge a premium for convertibles, and push the convertibles big time. KEEP DECLINING THE CONVERTIBLE until they get the price down at or under $20 extra a day. Every rental place overbooks on the mid-size cars, so often times you can reserve a mid-size and get a convertible for the same rate, or for just a little more. If they don't offer the convertible, then they may be out. :( Be sure and ask, though.

Pack your own snorkel and mask, unless you are willing to rent some. The cost of a decent pair is $35-40 and a week's rental is $5-9. The rental ones aren't bad, but I prefer my own. There are great places to snorkel all over the island. Don't feel required to pay for a trip to Molokini, although it's really nice. For a beginner, try the southwest side of the island, off the highway just before you get to Lahaina.

I only had 4 days, and one day of that was spent at my sister-in-law's wedding, so I didn't get to take the drive to Hana. Even though it's only 60 miles, it's about a 5 hour drive. A shorter trip is up to the top of Haleakala. Round trip is roughly 4 hours. If I could, I would've done the "bicycle down a volcano" tourist trip - it just looks like a lot of fun.

Can you tell I want to go back? :) Have fun!
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 9:36 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

so oil


very effective also

with the appreciation proper term


very common from out there
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 8:27 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

remember to shout out "pakaloah" wherever you go...
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 7:43 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hawaii is a state now! Damn I need a more up to date history book. So what is that 49 states now.
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 7:38 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Amnesiac, Hawaii is a State. Rules regarding absinthe apply to Hawaii too.
Posted on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 6:48 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hey everyone. I'm not going to Toronto anymore. My girlfriend and I instead decided to go to Maui for 8 days / 7 nights. Has anyone ever been there before?

We don't want to do the 'tourist' crap. We really just want to get away from the bastard tourist people and relax and enjoy the beautiful environment.

So, if any of you have ver gone, what are your impressions? Where did you stay? What kind of absinthe did you drink when you were there? (You know, how much did you bring with you? Bottles and bottles???)


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