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A Short History of Art, Absinthe, and...

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru June 2002 » Archive Thru May 2002 » A Short History of Art, Absinthe, and War « Previous Next »

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Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 10:11 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

(apologies to Garry Larson)

Scene: North African desert.
Backdrop: Atlas Mountains.

Stage left: VULTURE, wearing 19th C. French infantryman's hat.

Stage right: Eight or nine other VULTURES, huddled over CORPSE. CORPSE holds flask of absinthe.

1st VULTURE: (strutting back and forth) Hey, look, I'm a soldier!
Left-right-LEF'! COMPANY-- HALT!

2nd VULTURE: (with mouth full) Hey, look, I'm an Arab!

3rd VULTURE: Allahu Akbar!

(VULTURES laugh)
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 8:48 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Unless, that is, Jemina Kahn [former friend of Princess Diana] can intervene and save the world. She's been slumming it in Pakistan with her husband.

Miss Cleo just called... watch the national news tonight for the latest developments on this story. You heard it here first, on your Sepulchritude forum.
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 8:46 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Not if I can drink myself to death first!
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 8:44 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Dont worry about it too much Robert, isnt Pakistan going to blow us all to smithereens anyway?
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 8:42 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Damn right, Vera, ever see G.I. Jane? Shave that head, take off that black eye makeup, and paint the world with bullets!
"I don't know what I've been told, Eskimo pussy is mighty cold"--Full Metal Jacket
Isn't that the life you want?
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 8:41 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

You can be a soldier and an artist. The difference is that artists would rather die by their own hand as opposed to someone elses. I also personally think its just as (or more) heroic to write a great novel as to travel to a far away land and kill those who threaten your existence. That being said, if hundreds of thousands of soldiers didn't give their lives in WWII, right now the only writing and painting that would be allowed would be those glorifying the Fuhrer (sp?). The taliban is an excellent example. They got a big kick out of blowing up 2000 year old Buddha statues, and banned all art that wasn't muslim. If you made non-muslim art, you were killed or imprisoned. But now thanks to our american soldiers going over there and toppling that regime, Afghani's suddenly have a new found creative freedom. It's currently a strangely symbiotic relationship. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but that's the way it is...
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 4:38 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

"And failing that, an art history major."

I've got my B.A. in art history. Think I should have joined the army instead?
Posted on Friday, May 31, 2002 - 3:56 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

One last thing.

The irony of it!

French SOLDIERS drank the medicine, absinthe, and liked it so well they continued to drink it as an apertif.

Returning to France, they continued their habit.

Artists copied the retired baby killers.

Art history majors sniffed the jocks of the artists.

Everybody drinking absinthe today has soliders to thank for it.

But if you can't be a soldier, maybe you can be an artist.

And failing that, an art history major. Too fucking funny.

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