Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List Edit Profile Register  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Archive through June 13, 2002

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru June 2002 » Cat lovers » Archive through June 13, 2002 « Previous Next »

Author Message
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 11:18 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

sex on motorcycles!
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 10:22 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Glad to hear it!

Sex and bicycles just about do it for me. Sex ON bicycles, I haven't tried yet.
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 10:08 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'm feeling much better now.
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 9:52 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I thought sex was boring smelly hippy shit?
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 9:42 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If you don't get all the excercise you need having sex, well, you should just have more sex...

I mean, if you're going to spend an hour exerting yourself, you should at least get a few orgasms out of it...
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 8:38 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


Make sure you do a lot of stretching before such an arduous work-out...Afterwords too.

I think I'd like to use your work-out plan as well...You can send any carafes, spoons, sugar my way, But, I'll take a good cigar instead of the cloves.
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 8:31 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

My home gym is the water carafe I`m painfully holding over my absinthe glass while slowly pouring...

Ho and I sometime make some stretching when reaching for my pack of clove cigarette...

Wolf- skinnygothboy tm
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 8:26 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

My home gym is a climbing wall. No injuries, other than the occasional tendon tweak and flapping callous
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 6:56 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I disagree about rotator cuff exercises. Doing them as a prophylaxis is mostly useful if you are into heavy bench pressing. If you stick to compound freeweight and bodyweight movements that aren't intrinsically unhealthy for the shoulder, you'll never need a rotator cuff exercise unless you suffer a traumatic shoulder injury - even then it's only a beginning-stage rehab measure. If you don't go out of your way to "isolate" a joint movement, or lock it into an unnatural path with a machine, and you learn how to do the big movements with proper form, all of the 20 or so muslce groups involved in stabilizing and mobilizing the shoulder will balance themselves. Make pullups, pushups, overhead press, dips & body or barbell rows the vast majority of your upper body training and you won't have any troubles.

I say throw the machine away. My home gym cost less than $400. It consists of: Olympic weight set + Oly straight bar. Trap bar for squat/deadlifts. Bolt eye attached to ceiling rafters from which pullup/body row bars can be hung. Belt for attaching extra weight to waist for pullups/dips. Saw horses in garage to do dips on.

Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 11:02 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Leave Mr. Gere out of this.

NOPE! All my Sub-genius just comes naturally.

I can't read so well, words are hard...
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:51 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You sure that wasn't the hamsters?

Maybe you need to download "Hampsters" by The Tiger Lillies.

. . . or perhaps you've been reading about "The Rupture" in "The Book of the Subgenius"?
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:48 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Maybe that's a "rupture"
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:47 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

There must be a "rapture" because they're flying outta my ass like the Wicked Witch of the West just sent out a search warrant...
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:46 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

. . . and I ain't no queen, you . . . you . . . BITCH!!! {SNAP}
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:45 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Head -

I have yet to give anyone double your monkey back. See, one only knows if one has received Salvation after death. They rarely collect on a monkey-back guarantee after they're dead.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:44 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hey Traineraz,

I'm running out of monkeys. How 'bout less cat, more "Catty" Queen.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:40 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I only use machines to hit a wide range of groups as opposed to free weights that allow you to focus on a particular group but very effectively... so i'm mostly into freeweights except when a more generalized work out demands otherwise...
boy did I just say nothing or what????????? Hahahaha, I am your god!!!!
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:38 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I hear that, Pikkle!...Always works.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:31 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Free weights... it's the only way to fly!
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 10:29 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Dr. O -

Eunuchs are commonly employed by earthbound deities like the Pharaohs. Rudi, the Jelly-Toe Cat, demands that there be no chance of any palace servant, no matter how high-ranking, having his wicked way with one of his many, many wives.

Rudi is a kind and benevolent deity, not jealous in the least. He just doesn't like other people touching his things!

Gym stuff -

As a general rule, home gyms are a nice foundation, but not the end-all and be-all of home fitness. Any equipment which forces your range of motion to be bound to a particular track will work the larger muscles to a reasonable but not thorough degree, and will neglect the "supporting," smaller muscles. Those are the ones that would naturally be forced to keep your motions "on track" if you had no machine doing it for you. Therefore, any home gym workout should be supplemented with some free-weight exercise with a set of adjustable-weight dumbells. I'd recommend hiring a trainer in your area, preferably one who can come to your house and work with you on your own equipment. Also, be sure he or she does a fair amount of work with free weights, and knows some rotator cuff exercises. Rotator cuff injuries are the most common injuries among adults who lift weights (at least, according to my orthopedist), but are preventable with proper education.

I'm not familiar with that particular product, but it sounds better than Soloflex and similar home gyms, which use a "rubber band" for resistance. If the resistance is constant from start to finish of each movement, it should be fine and ALSO dandy . . . with that free weight supplementation and a couple of training sessions to get you off to a good start.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 9:59 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


You lost me there, buddy. What do Osama's testicular situation has to do with becoming Rudi, the Jelly-Toe's Cat's Avenging Angel?

On another vein, I'm willing to forgive you for calling Osama a "lesser feline" in exchange for some professional information. What do you think of the "Total Gym 1500", the one that uses your weight as resistance?
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 9:08 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

An update on the less famous (and deified) recent feline adoptee.

Musetta and Max are getting along a little better. Max no longer hisses and walks away in a huff and they've even started some hunting/stalking play. The only problem is that after a brief stalk, Max sprays whatever's handy. I can tell that the Nature's Miracle people are going to be getting a lot of business from me.

Musetta's a groomer. Yesterday she thoroughly cleaned my entire face. She's a real cutie, but I hope Max can get over his issues. I really don't want to have to be chasing him around the apartment with a spray bottle of anti-kitty-stink juice.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 8:31 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I Have to agree with Black Jack, so many fabulous cats are waiting in shelters for homes and to be given a chance to love someone. Basic Model cats are smart, loving, happy and provide years of devoted companionship. Cats are no different from people: snazzy packaging may get your attention but it is the heart that counts. Give a basic cat a chance and save them from certain death.

Our illustrous Rudi is no beauty, but has a heart of gold and a purr so loud and clear he has a Met contract.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 7:14 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Dr. O -

You didn't TELL me that Osama was a eunuch . . . OF COURSE he can be Rudi, the Jelly-Toe Cat's Attack Cat!
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 6:19 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

We thought that fixing Osama was going to make him a "house cat".

No way. He spends the nights out, comes in the morning demanding food, devours it, has his catnip "fix" and crashes in the sofa, looking pretty.

Well, he's probably doing what a cat is supposed to do. Tais-toi et sois belle. Well, beau.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 3:13 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I have a breeder near me who was going to sell me one at $350 each.
Posted on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 - 8:04 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I got a quote from one breeder...800can$ each. ouch! (that include everything, including sterilisation)

They don't want to sell me a fertile couple. Screw them. I want a couple of leopard fucking in my restroom. I want to sterilize them only after they got some kitty. I think they are affraid of competition. Anyway this source doesn't have the best looking Bengals. I hope my second source will be able to provide me what I'm looking for for less than 1600 fucking $ !
Posted on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 11:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

My cats are terrified of outside.
Posted on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 9:24 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Long ago my cat Chester successfully pried open the air conditioner vent and made a break for it.
Never underestimate a determined kitty.
Posted on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 5:03 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

These cats really are worth it time I caught the two of them working in tandem to try to get the sliding screen door open in my old apartment. The smarter one (female, seal point lynx variety, prettiest cat i have ever seen) was working the hand latch and the smart-but-not-as-smart-as-the-other-one was working at the bottom. Had I not caught them they would have liberated themselves from the prison of their home! (and of course run over by any number of vehicles)

I think you will like them Wolfgang. Try to get two if you work alot and there arent others in the home.
Posted on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 11:28 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

". I dont know what domestic cat they use to breed with the wild one though. "

From :


By crossing the Asian Leopard Cat "Felis Bengalensis" with a domestic cat, such as a Burmese, Siamese, Tabby, or Egyptian Mau, and breeding Bengal to Bengal for several generations, Jean Mill has given those of us who love the wild cats the opportunity to have "Living Room Leopards"...beautiful, loving and completely domesticated cats with the beauty of their wild leopard cat ancestor.

I contacted some catteries asking for prices and info for a male-female pair. I think I've found the cats I want. Thank's Crowly.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 6:47 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Crow -

I believe that one really BIG Sphinx (just a statue, not a REAL Sphinx) got a nose job in the last decade or so.

Of course, I want the REAL kind, the ones that tell riddles and guard ancient wisdom and such.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 6:36 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I went to the shelter looking for a kitten (I know, I should have saved an adult from death, sorry for it now) but there were no kittens. A couple of night later, I had a dream about two black cats talking to me. The morning after the dream, I drove to the very same shelter, and, while getting out of my car in the parking lot, a lady pulled up next to me and took a pet carrier out of her car. We both walked to the shelter door, and while I held the door for her, I noticed that there were two black kittens (brothers) inside the carrier - her cat had kittens and she couldn't keep them all. I told her that I wanted them and that I had a dream about them so she gave them to me (probably worried that she gave them to a lunatic.)

I know you don't believe me but it's a true story (insert spooky music).
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 5:46 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I think the only kind available right now are mysteriously missing their noses.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 4:12 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Where can I get a Sphinx? Will it tell riddles and guard ancient secrets of the Atlanteans? What do they eat? Heathen?
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 3:54 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


[I was in the shelter and one of them reached out and grabbed my shirt with his claws.]

I told, on the first cat thread.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 3:41 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

As much as I like a couple of breeds (Spynxes (Sphyges?) and Ocicats in particular), I just can't justify paying a hundreds of extra dollars just to get a cat with custom bodywork, especially when there are so many of the base models needing homes.

My cats picked me. I was in the shelter and one of them reached out and grabbed my shirt with his claws.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 3:08 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Oh and they are quite active. I hope u dont sleep at night because they sure the hell don't!
As for taking them outside, I don't let mine (even though they are fixed).
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 3:06 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Wolfgang, my cats were about 300 each. It's a lot of dough but they really are worth it. Getting 2 is better for them because they will retain their natural hierarchy. read a little about them, almost everything i have read about them is true. Mine don't like water as much as is reported, but maybe i have sissy cats!
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 12:03 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I think i put this up one other time but Im not sure if i did then I'm sorry. very funny

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 11:50 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

why does the list show that there are 5 entries here? Is it counting orifices as entries? Who's got the extra?
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 11:49 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Woa, I've not seen an actual domestic feline like that before. Great looks. I have a tortoise shell or Mutt, whichever you prefer.
She looks something like that, but no distinct spots, just more like a 70's shag carpet.

Found her in a box outside of Albertson's grocery.
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 11:43 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


We'r about to adopt a cat soon, probably by the end of july. I'm still not sure if I'll just look for a nice bastard or pay the big buck for a registered pure race.

First requirement is intelligence (I don't want a dumb fat and boring Garfield in my family).

Second requirement is short black fur (but your Bengals really look awesome...)

I would be afraid to let it go outside (cars and all...) so I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to get a very active Bengals ...those cats probably like to hunt and explore. Maybe getting two would be less boring for them ?

Where did you find your's and how much did it cost ?
Posted on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 10:48 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I have 2 bengal cats. They are friggin awesome! They seem much more active and agile than normal cats.
For those who don't know, Bengal cats are crossbred asian leopard cats. I dont know what domestic cat they use to breed with the wild one though.

I dont know whos link this is, but there is some good info. better link

Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page