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Mr. Creepy Redux

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » The Monkey Hole » Mr. Creepy Redux « Previous Next »

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Posted on Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 12:28 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


I have found the ultimate weapon against palmetto bugs!

There was one between my desk and the wall, about a 3" space. I couldn't reach it (by about 10") to squash it . . .

A handy-dandy box of Multi-Grain Wheat Thins came to the rescue! Threw it down there . .. picked it up, threw it down, picked it up, threw it down . . . maybe 10 times, then got the tongs and reached down to grab the stunned critter so I could flush it!

It tried to escape from the tongs, but couldn't fight the undertow of 1.6 gallons of water!

Just thought I'd share that with you all, since my E68 has not arrived. No Brown Fairy for me, just the Nasty Palmetto Bug! *sniff*
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 8:25 am:   Edit PostPrint Post




I feel loved. mwah!
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 5:20 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 3:40 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


A little present just for you ....
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 1:54 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

At least it's not a digger wasp.

I mean, it wont lay eggs in your flesh while you sleep, right?

Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 6:33 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Or taunt it. Never taunt a spider. They are really quite sensitive little creatures, prone to 'acting out' when their feelings are hurt by big clumsy humans who tell them how scary and ugly they are.

Just think of them as tiny kitty-cats with extra legs and eyes. You'll notice that they will always find the people in the room who are morbidly afraid of them, and run right at them.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 4:02 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

that spider is harmless,just dont touch it or provoke will be just fine...goodluck
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 3:31 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

A famed geneticist once stated that the one thing his studies had taught him about God was that He had "an inordinate fondness for beetles"

To say something like that, he/she HAD to have been British!
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 3:15 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


Hmmmm, so I guess this is where Krystal burgers come from?

Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 2:50 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Goats are Satan's puppies.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 2:43 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

How horrifying, an infestation of miniature moocows, coming into your house and eating you in retribution for that steak you had for dinner!!

On the other hand, elsewhere on the page is this creature, the "four-times horny sheep," for whom they have chosen the odd name of Lucy. Lucy Fur.

Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 2:36 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'd rather have these kinds of pests:

I need a cow.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 2:25 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Screw the scorpions. I'm more worried about the centepedes that EAT the scorpions. That's my defnition of a bad motherfucker.

We don't have those up here, thank the gods. The only centepedes I've run into are those awful little ones with they hypersonic legs that move so fast they appear to be floating on air. I had one come after me when I was in college. I swear it managed to cross the room before I could consciously recognize what it was, but my years of martial-arts training kicked in and it was only after I'd hacked it in twain with a foot-long bowie kife that I realized what had happened.

Scared the SHIT out of the girl whose room it was. All she knew was that, in the middle of a sentence, I had screamed, jumped to my feet, and hacked an inch-deep chunk out of her floor.

A famed geneticist once stated that the one thing his studies had taught him about God was that He had "an inordinate fondness for beetles"
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 1:51 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

LOL - Hell, They've been around long before any of us were born...and I'm sure they'll be around long after.

5 Years huh, well, I lived near some rocks (Also known as South Mountain in Ahwatukee), so I guess that was the problem.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 1:47 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

. . . and it gave birth to the giant flying palmettoroaches we have today.

Thanks a LOT, NOLA!

BTW, I've never seen a scorpion in town (in 5 years), they usually nest out in the rocks.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 1:35 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


Trainer, My first month in AZ I hear a yelp, my girlfriend said "What the hell did you do to the cat?" I said, "Nothing" - She said it jumped about 4 feet in the air and freaked out. A little transparent Scorpion (the bad ones) stung her on the leg. She didn't have any problems, but I kept finding them in my shoes. Had to make sure to shake out all articles of clothing before putting them on. At least the Roaches and Termites don't mess you up...They're just nasty.

I grew up on the lakefront (Near Lake Pontchartrain) and I had a pool. Anywhere there's water, THERE'S ROACHES! - Yes, they fly at objects, like your head, wanting to land and they sound like a hummingbird. Scares the crap out of you, but they can't hurt you.

OH, also, As I was an evil child, I tried to MICROWAVE a roach that pissed me off and it expanded to about 5 inches in circumference. When I turned off the microwave, it went back to it's normal state and walked out the door. I hear they are the only creatures that can survive a Nuclear blast.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 1:12 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

When I lived in Flrida, I discovered that the only really effective way to dispatch the more massive roaches was to cut them into MANY pieces. And this didn't so much kil them as just render them immobile.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 12:02 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

we cut a three incher in half once, when we came back to, er, do something with it, it had actually crawled 3 feet. gaaaah!

they're mostly a summer thing. I remember opening the door in the evening, and the sills surrounding the door would be covered with them. they were all waiting to come inside, attracted by the porch lights.

and they sound & look like hummingbirds when they're flyin' at ya. eeeeeeeeeek!
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 12:00 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Kallisti -

We get those nasty buggers here in Tucson, too.

Oddly, they seem to only come inside to die. I usually find em on their backs, twitching.

I'm glad they're not afraid of the light, gives me a chance to grab a shoe and SMACK SMACK SMACK until they're dead (sometimes takes three or four good SMACKS), then FLUSHIE-FLUSHIE!

Are they all year in NOLA? They're only a late spring/early summer thing here.

Wow, NOLA sounds less and less fun with every post I read . . . walls covered with termites, palmetto bugs carrying off your children . . .
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 11:44 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


won't even go into the palmetto bugs of New Orleans ....

nope. nary a word ...

palmetto giant cockroach

[from some random website] "What are they? Simply stated, a Cockroach. But not your ordinary run of the mill cockroach. No, they are nothing like the cute little creepy crawlies you see in Orkin commercials.

For one thing, Palmetto Bugs tend to be a bit larger then your average roach. I'm not kidding when I say that I have seen them grow to three inches or more. You may think cockroaches are gross, but the experience is much more vivid when all the gory details are magnified. As if that wasn't enough, Palmetto Bugs can fly! Yes, fly. You have never been creeped out, until you see a three inch roach fly up and land on the table next to you. And it gets worse, Palmetto Bugs aren't afraid of the light. You're just as likely to encounter one during the day as at night. The last little detail to distinguish the Palmetto Bug from your average cockroach is that they are armored. Step on one and you're lucky if you get its attention. You don't even get the pleasure of squishing one."
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 11:32 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


We only (usually) get the little subterranean drill-the-foundation type tunnelers. You know you have them when you see a little mud tunnel on the wall, not when your wall becomes a squirming mass. The flying Plague O' Termites is rare in Tucson.

I'm glad to live in a place that only has scorpions and rattlesnakes. Oh, and the Giant June Buggies {BZZZZZZZ THUD BZZZZZZZ}!
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 10:26 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yes, Kallisti!

I hate to say it but, Been there, Done that!
- My girlfriend doesn't even want to stay in the house with me anymore. We were having an unpleasant "discussion" if you know what I mean, and I looked over and watched them crawling the walls behind her and, as I didn't hear much of what she was saying, I just hoped they didn't jump on her. Or maybe I did. heh heh.

Fun eh?
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:51 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

This is a horror flick come to life. Wood cannibals!
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:48 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

oh my gawd! have I lived thru New Orleans termite season .... and HOW.

one day, we noticed a few black termites comin' outa the wall inthe small entry way leading up to the 2nd floor bedroom. me and roomie shrugged, went back to seperate rooms, his on one side of the hall, mine on the other. in TEN MINUTES I heard him yelping ... I run thru the kitchen and am stopped by a WALL of black crawling termites covering every inch of the staircase and hall. they are pouring by the bucket load out of the crack in the wall boards. we get a can of raid and start spraying, and squish our way up the crack they're pouring out of and cover it with duck tape. within a minute they start pouring out the attic door, between the cracks.

GAWD. luckily the exterminator was fast and they didn't have to tent the house.
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:42 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

This was from my post on the SIH Forum:

I have termites...Thousands, and flying...

There's more, but you can read on the SIH. Talk about creepy...
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:37 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I have the same problem up here in Montreal. They are smaller but very hairy and hideous.

must buy some poison...
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:37 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Having spent the better part of two weeks attempting to rid my apartment of carpet beetles (and more importantly, carpet beetle larvae--ew), I'd welcome a few spiders.

Besides, what right-thinking arthropod WOULDN'T try to get a look at you in the shower...?
Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 9:10 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

well, it's spider season again here in the Bay Area ... here is number 4 that I've found in my bathroom in the last two days.

HEEEEEELP! He's the size of a silver dollar and I have to take a shower!

where's my spider wrangler???

Mr. Creepy

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