Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List Edit Profile Register  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Anyone From Houston?

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » The Monkey Hole » Anyone From Houston? « Previous Next »

Author Message
Posted on Monday, August 26, 2002 - 7:46 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I've been in Amsterdam 3 years now, but I lived in Houston most of my life. Lately I've been getting nostalgic, pestering the neighbors by blasting Culturcide and the 13th Floor Elevators out of the stereo. Drank a lot of 5-cent well drinks at #'s and went to Perry Webb's infamous Eat Human Flesh opening at the Commerce Street Warehouse. I hear the Axiom has reopened. I go back once or twice a year.

Mattress Mac is pretty crass, but he's given a lot back to the city, unlike his better-bred brethren like Kenny Boy Lay. Former Houston Press writer Ken Patterson recently did a hatchet-job (a chainsaw is warranted) on Houston's vain and silly (especially Elyse Lanier, wife of the ex-mayor) for rehabilitating Lay, but he was generally nice to Mac.
Posted on Friday, August 23, 2002 - 3:09 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


Do you live in Houston, or are you still in Amsterdam?

That Gallery Furniture guy is a trip. I wish I has some of his cash though.

Posted on Friday, August 23, 2002 - 6:01 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Hey, that's I-45 NORTH at Tidwell, like in the commercial, "Eyefortyfivenorthbetweentidwellandparker, Gallery Furniture reallywill!!"

Tattoo parlors so plentiful in north Houston, they're opening new ones in empty corners of old ones.
Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 3:23 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Donald Goines?

Fuck that inner city hoodlum. He thought he was Daddy Cool, but he was just a dopefiend, whoreson black gangster. Tried to rip but became Kenyatta's last hit. Just goes to show white man's justice is black man's grief.

Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 12:32 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You need to read more Donald Goines my friend...
Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 7:48 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


Is that all you have to say to the hardasses here?

Let me tell you, I've turned over a new leaf in my life. I'm living much harder now.

I've turned up the heat on the bidet to a scalding 260 degrees.

Not only is my ass hole a flaming red sea of pain, but if my wife finds me I'm pretty sure she's going to kill me. The only thing that's saved me so far is that her injuries have slowed her down a little more than mine.

Thanks Marc for showing me the hard side of life.

Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 9:41 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 8:02 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

How about mice so tough they can produce goat sperm. Now that's some hardcore motherfuckin' shit!

(just tryin' to fit in with some hardcore motherfuckers)
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 7:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Is killing an elephant with 3000 hits of acid hardcore enough for you?,9865,770756,00.html?
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 7:20 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yeah, this is the fuckin' absinthe forum, Jack. We're fuckin' hardass. Check out the fuckin' thread on fuckin' spring water, motherfucker!
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 12:53 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


send your cute little human interest stories to Reader's Digest. This is the fucking absinthe forum. We're hardass. It takes alot to impress and charm us, motherfucker.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 12:47 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

you lazy fuck. You should have gotten your fat ass
out of the car and checked it out. These are the rare moments in life that can transform you. Instead, you drive by, a tourist to your own life. Pathetic.
Posted on Sunday, August 18, 2002 - 8:27 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I ask this because I saw one of the funniest things I've seen in quite a while there on Thursday.

I was driving on I-45 South toward Tidwell, when I noticed a tattoo shop on the service road. Not just any tattoo shop mind you, but a cut rate tattoo shop.

I don't know about you, but nothing says red-neck like a nice cut rate tattoo. This place had a sign up that said most tattoos were under $20, but the thing that really got me was the part underneath where it said "Ladies Free".

Now normally I would have stopped, gone inside and checked out the situation further, but I was running late, and besides it was raining like hell.

I'm just dying to know more about this place. I mean do they sell the barb wire tattoos by the yard?
Is there a discount for ass tattoos, if you have a nice ass?
Where did the artist learn his craft? My bet is prison, but I would hate to pre-judge.
Does the artist make his own ink from toothpaste and cigarette ashes?
One can only guess.

Anyway, if there's anyone who lives in Houston, and if I've peaked your curiosity, please go over there and report back. It won't be hard to find, I-45 south service road, just before Tidwell, it looks just like you would imagine a cut rate tattoo shop would.
It may be months till I get back there and the questions are weighing heavily on my mind. If you can do this, I've got a little fairy sweat (dripped right off her nipples) I'll share with you.

(No tattoos yet, but maybe for the right price.... Who knows)

Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page