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Syphillis Is No Fun

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » The Monkey Hole » Syphillis Is No Fun « Previous Next »

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Posted on Friday, August 23, 2002 - 1:51 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I laughed, I cried, I tried to wash it off...
Posted on Friday, August 23, 2002 - 1:06 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

My lips are gone. The re-attachment of my penis,
while temporarily successful, has failed. My remaining finger, the one I am using to type this,
has developed gangrene. My wife has left me. My dogs have become delirious with the smell of my rotting flesh. They urinate on me constantly.
The only thing that keeps me going is the mega-doses of oxycontin that I have been eating like
potato chips. Yes, I feel self-pity. Yes, I am bitter. Yes, I want to end it and I want to end it now. But, I cannot. As long as there is oxygen in my lungs and blood coursing through my veins, I will continue to persevere, to fight against that dark night, to stand up and proclaim my
lust for life. Yes, I want to live!
Posted on Thursday, August 22, 2002 - 11:33 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

With all due respect, forget the oral dose of mercury. The mercury enema twice a day is more reliable.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 9:41 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

The big three killed my baby...
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 9:38 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'm typing this with the index finger of my left
hand. Its the last one left. Thanks so much for all the encouraging feedback. As soon as I get back from the hospital (I'm having my lips removed), I'll tell you about my recent mishap on
a unicycle.

Love, Marc
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 7:22 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You're funny.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 1:11 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post


The syphilis that he had contracted as a very young man had moved into the tertiary stage called neurosyphilis. By 1938, he was confused and disoriented.

Marc, please don't let it get past this stage as I wouldn't want you to become rabid or ultra militant.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 12:11 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You could always try attaching a lump of black tourmeline to your knob.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 7:13 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

"Syphillis will free your mind for serious art"
- Baroness Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven to William Carlos Williams
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 6:39 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Try a nice oral dose of mercury along with the mud baths. It's been used for centuries with some effectiveness. Also, I hear it has pleasant side effects, resembling those of absinthe.
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 1:49 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

How the fuck could you possibly have known that at this very moment I'd be eating gravy dried bean curd?
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2002 - 1:08 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If anyone is wondering, my syphillis is starting to clear up. 2 months soaking in mud baths in New Mexico seems to be helping. I have had my penis
surgically re-attached to my body. I can urinate
without spraying myself in the face and my erections, while not qualifying as hard-ons, are proudly upright. My wife Jennifer has loyally remained by my side, and with the help of her new lesbian lover, she's aided me in maintaining some semblance of personal hygiene. Admittedly my asshole is caked with week old poop, but my pubic hair is silky and finely groomed. It is the small things that make the big difference. I'm amazed that I have the strength to type these words. I love you all and will keep you up to date on my condition.

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