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Mr. Creepy Michigan Style

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » The Monkey Hole » Mr. Creepy Michigan Style « Previous Next »

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Posted on Thursday, September 19, 2002 - 5:22 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

LOL!!! Thanks MD!
Posted on Wednesday, September 18, 2002 - 8:15 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

For Crowlyman


-only $14.95-

• Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
• Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
• Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
• Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

• Itching
• Vertigo
• Dizziness
• Tingling in extremities
• Loss of balance or coordination
• Slurred speech
• Temporary blindness
• Profuse sweating
• Heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Happy Fun Ball

Posted on Wednesday, September 18, 2002 - 7:32 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

yeah, she sure was pretty.

I actually tried to save her. but at that size they're so delicate, one violent bump cuz of my nerves and, well ... SPIDER GOO EVERYWHERE!

that size could kill a person however, so perhaps it's best.
Posted on Wednesday, September 18, 2002 - 7:20 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

But, at least it's a COOL spider.
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 7:24 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

OH MY! Spider season is NOT over, as I had thought ...

My Skeery Widow

I got home and look who was waitin' for me on the porch, right by the door. This is the largest black widow I ever done seen, almost 1 1/2"!!! I nearly fainted ... look, you can clearly see her hourglass as her belly was facing me. She dead now. Ick.
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 4:11 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

The Happy Fun Ball skit was also one of my favorite ones on SNL!
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 11:11 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 1:28 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

That isn't a rat the camel spider is eating. It's some kind of mouse-sized rodent, but I'm not sure what. Thankfully, camel spiders don't grow to the size of rats.

As for the "mascot" thing, apparently durning the Gulf War (Gulf War I?), bored soldiers would arrange spider fights...
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 8:44 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

The straight dope on camel spiders from the U.S. Air Force, bombing the world into democracy when they're not dodging 6-inch arachnids:


They're not actually poisonous to humans - the main dangers from what is described as their "strong bite" are SHOCK (no fucking kidding) and infection...

"[C]amel spiders avoid the heat by running from shadow to shadow... If a camel spider runs toward a person’s shadow and he or she tries to run away, the spider will chase the shadow."

"Chemicals such as bug sprays are not recommended as they most likely will do nothing but make the spider ANGRY, said officials." [emphasis added]

"Officials also warn against trying to capture a camel spider to serve as a PET or MASCOT."

(However, feel free to paint one on your plane fuselage, dressed in a bikini.)
Posted on Sunday, September 15, 2002 - 9:35 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Check out this nasty beast.

It's a camel spider feasting on a rat. Enough for a whole week of nightmares.

Posted on Friday, September 13, 2002 - 8:34 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

It looks like those creeping in my appartment... We have to kill 2 or 3 every day. I don't know what's the problem with this flat, I never saw so much spiders ! Hopefully we will find a suitable house soon (we'r planning to move next summer).
Posted on Friday, September 13, 2002 - 5:11 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Plenty of those loitering at night under the overhangs of tram shelters in Amsterdan. The biggest one I've seen was about 1-1/2 inches from toe to toe. There's a stripey in my front doorway; it helps keep the mosquitoes down.
Posted on Thursday, September 12, 2002 - 9:50 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Some type of 'orb weaver' (named for their style of web), enthusiastic catchers and devourers of moths, not poisonous, probably could give you a good pinch if they felt like it, though.

They were very common in abandoned buildings/barns where I grew up, and I see them on bridges all the time. We just called 'em "barn spiders"... They do grow awesomely large and creepy!
Posted on Thursday, September 12, 2002 - 9:33 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Mr. Michigan Creepy

Just got back from a visit to Michigan, and freaked out on several of these spider fests on the sides of various buildings. I mostly noticed them at night, but there would be dozens of these guys (see picture) hangin' around. From about 1/2" to 1 1/4" leg span, mostly fat like this one. I did see one in the day time at the train depot.

I've posted to a Spider Forum for identification, will let you know what they tell me ...

any clues here!?!?!


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