Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List Edit Profile Register  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

You Know What Movie Sucked?

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » Arts & Other Philosophical Sundries » FILM FORUM » You Know What Movie Sucked? « Previous Next »

Author Message
Pokerface11
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:21 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

BLACK HOLE was a movie that literally sucked. And I liked it, liked it, yes, I did.
Pokerface11
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:18 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yeah. You're born, you live, you die. It IS contrived, but whatcha gonna do?
Marccampbell
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:17 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

pata,

yeah, but you're the dude that doesn't like lyrics in his music.
Marccampbell
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I like films that are purely visual art - Stan Brakhage, Kenneth Anger, Deren - and I like films that tell stories. Of course, the best films are those that do both.
Pataphysician
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:14 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

That whole "Beginning/Middle/End" thing can seem so contrived.
Pokerface11
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:09 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Not if you like narrative. On the other hand, if you're a Maya Deren fan, by all means, knock yourself out!
Alphasoixante
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 3:07 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

"Yes, but minus the theater. It's a visual medium and all the other stuff is just extras."

bless you, pataphysician.
Pokerface11
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 2:13 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

GINGER SNAPS is a neat little werewolf movie.

And film = theatre + camera? No no no, my dear Alphaoixante. The camera allows visual angles no audience to a live performance could possibly have. It allows for a great deal more realism or even more garish unreality, more subtlety of acting style, more far-ranging imaginative vision.

Imagine 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY in the stage. You can't. Can't be done.
Admin
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 2:01 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

ooo oooh!

I was just slapped into a chair and made to watch that. man oh man was that great. can't believe I had missed it ...
Marccampbell
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 1:55 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

DANCE WITH THE DEVIL deserves a wider audience. Its a terrific film.
Joalco
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 11:38 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Have you seen Ginger Snaps? Dagon? Tell Me Something? The Ring? Dance with the Devil? There's still good horror out there -- you just have to search for it.

And yes, 13 Ghosts was a steaming pile.
Nascentvirion
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 11:24 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Thirteen Ghosts was crap. I've seen better episodes of Unsolved Mysteries. Where did the horror go in horror movies ? It seems like todays horror films are nothing but a cheap Party of Five TV show with the only exception is someone gets stabbed ,hooked or worst of all a phone call. Anyone remember "Night of the Creeps" or "Raw Head Rex" ??
Pataphysician
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 11:05 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

"just theater + camera?"

Yes, but minus the theater. It's a visual medium and all the other stuff is just extras.
Alphasoixante
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 10:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

a good script is no substitute for gorgeous visuals.

there was some quality acting in the film, but there just wasn't enough substance (or striking images)to keep me interested.
Alphasoixante
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 10:53 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

what really sucked was picasso's guernica. the acting's terrible and don't even get me started on the script. the writing was awful. so was the accounting. it wasn't even distilled. not to mention the fact that picasso doesn't have a good singing voice and only knows three chords.

here's a film topic for the board: what's film? just theater + camera?
Joalco
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 8:13 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

The horse slicer was based on an art exhibit (I forget the artists name, though) where several animals were sectioned and plastinated in a similar fashion to some of the human specimens in the world-renowned Heidelberg anatomical exhibit.

A striking visual, that was also pilfered for the recent 13 Ghosts remake.
Nilson
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 6:52 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

As my son said, the horse-slicer was pretty cool, but that was about it. I dissed this crapfest over at the NYT forum, for most of the reasons aforementioned. The woman in the flooding room was unbearably stupid -- a stereotype of hysteria that should have had feminists throwing tomatoes. Script stank. Vaughn read his lines and drifted off at the end. Lopez sucked.
Joalco
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 6:26 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

So *that*'s what was missing....

There were some striking images in the film (quite a few cobbled from other sources -- this guy's background in the music video industry is way too apparent), but there just wasn't enough substance (or quality acting) to keep me interested.

My best friend described the look on my face upon leaving the theatre as such:

"You look like you just walked through a steamy green egg fart."
Marccampbell
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 6:23 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

THE CELL ain't that bad if you watch it while peaking on 1000 mics of clean LSD25.
Joalco
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 6:21 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'll get the ball rolling on this bitchfest, then you can discuss amongst yourselves.

The Cell.

This is the biggest, steamiest cinematic shit heap I've seen in a long time. I saw the movie once, when it first came out, and I'm still feeling robbed of my matinee admission and two hours of my life. Gorgeous visuals are no substitute for a good script, and even Vincent D'Onofrio couldn't save this pile of crap. Vince Vaughn annoys the piss out of me. Jennifer Lopez is *really* convincing as a psychologist.

This movie blew goats.

Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page