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Archive through December 15, 2002

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum Archive thru January 2003 » Strictly Absinthe & Collectibles » An ODE to OPTIMALSMARTS » Archive through December 15, 2002 « Previous Next »

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Louched_Liver
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:52 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Folks who are afraid to post, but not buy fairy squeezin's. Lurkers who merely comb the site for the best buys in absinthe.
Right.
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:49 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Heck no you don't...
That's why you're here.
I for one am absolutely certain that your
only mission is to provide Americans
with the finest, lowest priced, readily
obtainable, marked up Absinthe money can
buy.
Chevalier
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:48 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Well, they certainly don't seem to be under YOUR judgement, Optimalsmarts.

This forum has seen customers defend their providers again and again. Markus Lion and even Betina Wittels can attest to it.

Either your forum customers don't exist or they don't see fit to say anything nice about you.

Want credibility? Gather up some testimonials.
Optimalsmarts
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:40 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I think we heard you the first time. I assure you that there is more than one member of this forum that does and is currently doing business with me. Yes, a few are lurkers, but none the less members. I suppose you would like me to name them perhaps?? Buckle like a belt maybe?? Or do you think your calling them out over a three day period would persuade them to be under your judgement?? Im a little greedy at times but im not a scammer and I do not need to make up phony customers. OS.
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:39 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

They're being coy.
Chevalier
Posted on Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 2:29 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I repeat, Optimalsmarts: To defend your honor, "those forum members who have used your services should speak now and tell us about their experiences."

Anyone out there (I hope)?

Where are these forum members who (according to your very words) have used your services? Why haven't they had the decency to defend you?

You also said that customers "... will spend about 5-8$ more with me but its quick and painless." Unless we want to buy Kübler 45 from you, in which case we'll have to pay $100 per bottle! So much for fair prices ...


Louched_Liver
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 7:29 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Sambeu,
You buckle like a belt.
Sambeau
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 11:02 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yea, I think you are right. My apologies. Forgive my suspicions. It still sounds too good to be true. In any case, best of luck to you.
Optimalsmarts
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 9:34 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

????????I have been following these threads and must confess that my curiosity is peaked?????????
Well your not looking too closely at the threads your following. Unless law enforcement officers are into selling absinthe on ebay amongst other things mentioned in the threads your following, I dont think you or these other people who think like you have anything to worry about. Thats not really much of a sting operation if you think about it. Send someone free absinthe then bust them with the ups man, creative! ! !
Sambeau
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 8:16 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

To Optimalsmarts:
I have been following these threads and must confess that my curiosity is peaked. I know I am not alone. Just how many freebies are you prepared to sacrafice? After all, if you are giving out candy, shouldn't you bring enough for the whole class. I appreciate that a keyword search is going to bring a newbie to this forum just as fast as to your site, and an "ode to optimalsmarts" is not going to boost sales. Nevertheless, your offer sounds to good to be true. Which means it probably is. Are you with some type of law enforcement agency?
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 5:56 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

That's the SERPIS snake sliding
into your mental bunghole.

You can't SHAKE the SNAKE!!!
Traineraz
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 2:36 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Ahhh, what a nice post-bar-post-pot-post-fuck snack. Ya know, I think some E68 would top that off nicely.

Strange . . . CRAVING . . .Arising . . .

Must . . . go to . . . cabinet!

SERPIS BOTTLE EMPTY!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MUST HAVE SERPIS!

Sir Piss? Damn, Head's at HIS house!

Must . . . email . . . Cristina . . .

[TYPE TYPE TYPE}

"Send . . . Serpis . . . EMERGENCY!!!!"

Not fast enough! Must stumble 10 blocks to Betina's house! Wait, not enough $$ in bank . . . DAMN!

DONATE TO WWW.SENDTRAINERSERPISNOW.COM!!!
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 12:13 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

"I don't know why, but I suddenly feel like drinking serpis. "

Don't think about it!
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 12:13 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I'd be curious to hear how many
"moderators" and "veterans" have
emailed you... I know the line for
free booze is long, wet lipped
and puckered!
Drinkslinger
Posted on Saturday, December 14, 2002 - 12:08 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I don't know why, but I suddenly feel like drinking serpis.
Zman7
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 11:50 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Damn Head, you're my hero.
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 11:06 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

YES! YES!! YES!!! BETWEEN THE SELF-INDUCED
EGO STROKING AND THE FREE BOOZE OFFERS FROM
DOMESTIC RESELLERS, I FEEL LIKE GOD!!!!

No I will not accept your payola.
When I give witness, I want it to be
true and undiluted. I think my self
indulgent, loud and conspicuous
testimony of your services says
it all.

It's a nice gesture, albeit transparently
self-serving and shows a complete lack of
subtlety (much as I do), but I must decline.

I'm an artist!

DRINK SERPIS NOW!!!
Optimalsmarts
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 10:30 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Im sorry, i was referring to several emails from members here and not BEL.
Crosby
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 8:58 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

BEL is not the lady you think she is!
Optimalsmarts
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 8:12 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yes I know you loved to see the jabi thing happen with the pernod bottle. I guess it was Karma?? I wont hide it or say it didnt happen, I just hope my words on ebay will help someone else in the future. Head, shoot me your email and the bottle is yours. If nothing comes of it so be it. As far as the Jade, I have my sources and the lady you speak of is not it. Ive never purchased anything but a bottle of vintage from her and assume that will be my last. I have my share of connections in the wine industry which helps when you want people you need something from to listen to you. So I jacked up ebay for a little bit, its not like im selling anti freeze in old bottles like Jabi. Im trying to make amends here and break through some ice. Well, at least I am receiving emails from some of you now, and they are not all death threats. OS.
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 7:15 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You gotta be quick and pounce
lest brilliance skips on by...
Louched_Liver
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 7:08 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Need I say it? Well, I will before you do-
Brilliant!
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 6:59 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

YES BUT HE DEEMED ME TO
BE PIER ONE!!!!
Louched_Liver
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 6:35 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

PoptiTarts found me to be a "pier", moderately so at that. His fine, gratis product had me back shitting on the carpet in no time.
It's a FAQ!!!!
Head_Prosthesis
Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 4:17 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

TAKE IT FROM ME
THE FAMOUS AMERICAN
POSTER HEAD_PROSTHESIS...
"VETERAN"
"MODERATOR"
"BRILLIANT"

HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG????

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