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Archive through April 19, 2003

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum » The Monkey Hole » Bunny the Hit and Run Tortoise. » Archive through April 19, 2003 « Previous Next »

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Kallisti (Admin)
Madame Guillotine
Username: Admin

Post Number: 993
Registered: 1-1998


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 3:48 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

She's a perfect mate. Not too big, not too small!

And she doubles as a wonderful sugar dish if you flip her over.

(do not do this bunny)
“A lady who has a secure seat is never prettier than when in the saddle, and she who cannot make her conquest there, may despair of the power of her charms elsewhere.” - THE MANNERS THAT WIN, 1880

http://www.feeverte.net
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 450
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 3:39 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Real Turtle Doll courtesy of The Prosthesis Collection:



Bunny wanted me to thank Kallisti and Head for the get well gift.
C'est ma santé
Lordhobgoblin (Lordhobgoblin)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Lordhobgoblin

Post Number: 752
Registered: 10-2000


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 1:05 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Crosby,

One thing to bear in mind is that a Russian tortoise generally has a lifespan of about 60 years (and some live well into their 80's), so this tortoise may well outlive both you and your wife (he may have to figure in your will). They can also bash through garden fences by tucking their heads in and using their shells as battering rams. I always wanted a tortoise but (for the reasons you've already stated) they are no longer available. I'd count myself privileged if I was you.
Pervert Euchre (Perruche_verte)
Elitist Bastard
Username: Perruche_verte

Post Number: 447
Registered: 12-2000


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 11:59 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

A good general rule: never buy a pet that wasn't domestically bred. Unfortunately the ones being sold at 'bargain' prices often are captured in the wild, which may be contributing to the decline of the rarer species (though habitat loss is almost always the biggest factor).

Turtle piss really, really stinks.

I've helped many turtles across the road, usually either painted turtles or snappers. The latter beasts show a dangerous degree of ingratitude, but it's worth it for the challenge alone.
"Drink accomplished what God did not." --Marguerite Duras
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 448
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 10:17 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Never mind that this is a Russian tortoise that was most likely wild caught and imported to California. Somebody probably put it in the yard, where it dug it's way under the fence and wandered out into the street.
The range of the Russian tortoise extends from southeastern Russia southward through eastern Iran, northwest Pakistan and Afghanistan. It's future in the wild is in doubt because it is a source of food and fertilizer.
One of the big problems with the wild caught pet industry, reptiles, fish and birds, is the high mortality rates. I used to be involved in the salt water fish trade and was appalled by how little water is used to ship the animals. They arrive stressed and have approximately a 50% mortality rate. Once in captivity, it's very difficult to meet the dietary requirements of exotics and even more waste away.
As Hobgoblin points out, the reward is in knowing the animal itself. This has been a crash course in what a dessert creature needs to thrive in N. Cal. And I hope Slake finds out how evolution culls the stupid first hand.
C'est ma santé
Pataphysician (Pataphysician)
Elitist Bastard
Username: Pataphysician

Post Number: 539
Registered: 5-2001
Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 9:59 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I tried to help a turtle across the road once, and the ungrateful fucker pissed on me.
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1455
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 9:54 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Slake and BoogerBoy. That's like the blind leading the deaf.
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1454
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 9:52 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

And fuck the 'tardos gettin' offed for 40's of OE.

Let's pray Slake the Snake loves OE.
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 447
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 9:43 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Slake has taken over at Opies. I deleted the story of the tortoise before I was banned. But this super genius has an opinion based on what he could garner from the remaining posts:

Slake_z Posted: Apr 19 2003, 01:11 AM



Social Drinker


Group: Members
Posts: 28
Member No.: 97
Joined: 25-March 03



I hope you don't forget that we are human. A stupid fuckin turtle that crosse the highway (that the species should have figured out by now) Is weeded out by natural selection. Wahhhhhh! There are people getting killed for a 40 of O E. Fuck the turtles

C'est ma santé
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 143
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 5:58 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

It's so hard being good, or is it so good being hard. Was absinthe part of his recovery?
Goth Girls Rule!!!
Labia_Longinus (Head_prosthesis)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Head_prosthesis

Post Number: 3330
Registered: 1-2001


Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 12:41 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


quote:

WITH NO PORN!!





Hey Cros, maybe you can get a pic of
Bunny humping his REAL TURTLE DOLL?

Good to see the little snapper up and about.


Lordhobgoblin (Lordhobgoblin)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Lordhobgoblin

Post Number: 747
Registered: 10-2000


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 11:48 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yes indeed Crosby you'll be rewarded for your compassion, from the look of that tortoise you probably already have been.
Oxygenee (Oxygenee)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Oxygenee

Post Number: 133
Registered: 4-2002
Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 11:01 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

INCREDIBLE! The first topic in history that the entire Forum agrees on, 12 postings including an extraordinary 5 posts from Mattm3 WITH NO PORN!!

Well done everbody, but special felicitations to Matt. We're proud of you man!

The turtle rules!
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 130
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 6:39 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Good for her! Animals are cool.
Goth Girls Rule!!!
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 444
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 6:14 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

My wife deserves all the credit. She's the one that found his bloody little body in the street. Now she's gone completly turtle crazy.
C'est ma santé
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 128
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 6:06 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

You can tell alot about a person by the way they care for animals. Cros your batting 1000 in my book.
Goth Girls Rule!!!
Pervert Euchre (Perruche_verte)
Elitist Bastard
Username: Perruche_verte

Post Number: 445
Registered: 12-2000


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 6:02 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Thanks for caring enough to take care of the little fellow.

"Drink accomplished what God did not." --Marguerite Duras
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 126
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:59 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Holy cow! Well at least he's cute.
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 443
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:31 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Final vet total $1200.
C'est ma santé
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1449
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:25 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Glad to see the lil' sheller doin' well.
Just watch where ya mow.
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 125
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:20 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Those vets are so expensive
mattm3 (Mattm3)
le Duc
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 124
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:19 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

All right, good job!!! What did it end up costing you?
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 442
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:16 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Best look yet! Same shade of green as his skin.(mine too, some days)
C'est ma santé
Kallisti (Admin)
Madame Guillotine
Username: Admin

Post Number: 983
Registered: 1-1998


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:10 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

he looks lovely on the new green page. heh.

tortoise joy! congrats!
“A lady who has a secure seat is never prettier than when in the saddle, and she who cannot make her conquest there, may despair of the power of her charms elsewhere.” - THE MANNERS THAT WIN, 1880

http://www.feeverte.net
Crosby (Crosby)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Crosby

Post Number: 441
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 5:03 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Lived to tell about it in his new weed patch home.


C'est ma santé

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