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Archive through April 15, 2003

Sepulchritude Forum » The Absinthe Forum » Strictly Absinthe & Collectibles » Newbie drinkers » Archive through April 15, 2003 « Previous Next »

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Kallisti (Admin)
Madame Guillotine
Username: Admin

Post Number: 947
Registered: 1-1998


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 2:50 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

ohmigawd. this one is PERFECT for you guys.


quote:

Dear Dan:

I am a straight male who just got back from Carnival in Rio. I went with a few friends from work. We had a blast. Actually it may have been too much fun. One night I drank too much and ended up getting into a conversation with one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen ... or so I thought. She/he/it — whatever I’m supposed to call ’em — was actually a transvestite. At the time this did not bother me. I loved the double-D tits in my face. She was wearing a thong, had a beautiful ass, and his/her face was stunning. So stunning that in addition to a lap dance I ended up meeting her/him later. I don’t know why I did this. I think it was to fulfill my curiosity and find out if I was interested in men at all. And it made it easier because she was mostly woman.

Ultimately, I couldn’t perform — there was something about her NINE INCH COCK that put me off. It was kind of in the way ... so I just received a blow job.

Now my questions comes in here. I feel a little jilted ... will this pass? Also, is there a large possibility of contracting an STD? I would imagine that a transvestite in Brazil who gives random American guys blow jobs for free is, uh, highly active, sexually speaking. I’ve been reading your column for about four years now and I love it. Now I need your input.

What a Dummy

Dear WAD:

Let’s get the STD issue out of the way first: The odds of contracting an STD from a lap-dance-givin’, tourist-blowin’ trannie in Rio are probably pretty high — they’re probably sky fucking high, so here’s hoping the head was good. I would advise you to set your Personal STD Terror Alert Status at Code Orange, WAD, and act accordingly. Like Tom Ridge is always telling us, “Don’t panic but remain alert.” Keep an eye on your ... dick-sores? burning sensations? falling off? And even if no symptoms appear, go get tested for absolutely everything sometime soon.

As for your other issues...

You claim to feel “jilted.” I’m not sure what you mean by that. Did the nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK leave you for another tourist? Or did you want the nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK to come back with you and be your wife? Or by “jilted” do you mean, “I GOT HEAD FROM A DUDE AND I’M FREAKING OUT!” If you’re freaked out, rest assured that it will pass. You took a walk on the wild side and got yourself some head under a unique set of circumstances. Luckily for you, WAD, the nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK was not your next-door neighbor, a co-worker, or your girlfriend’s younger brother. Since the nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK is on one continent and you’re on another, it’s extremely unlikely that you will ever see the nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK again. That should make putting the whole pleasurable business behind you that much easier.

Now, unless you have a burning desire to do this again — and some “straight” guys do this sort of thing again and again, and most pay dearly for the privilege — you’re not queer. The nice lady with the NINE INCH COCK turned your crank, it’s true, but she turned it with the fake tits, the girlish ass, the beautiful face, and not — not, not, not — the cock. She presented herself to you as a woman and you responded to her as a woman. Which means you’re still the man.



http://www.sfweekly.com/savage/2003-03-12/index.html


“A lady who has a secure seat is never prettier than when in the saddle, and she who cannot make her conquest there, may despair of the power of her charms elsewhere.” - THE MANNERS THAT WIN, 1880

http://www.feeverte.net
Kallisti (Admin)
Madame Guillotine
Username: Admin

Post Number: 945
Registered: 1-1998


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 2:24 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

*bounce bounce*
“A lady who has a secure seat is never prettier than when in the saddle, and she who cannot make her conquest there, may despair of the power of her charms elsewhere.” - THE MANNERS THAT WIN, 1880

http://www.feeverte.net
Heathen Beaner (Emmy)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Emmy

Post Number: 72
Registered: 9-2001


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 2:17 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

savage love roxorz :D
The Red Pidgeon (Icarus)
Mousquetaire
Username: Icarus

Post Number: 34
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 1:59 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Is molestation by your local priest considered a "homosexual" encounter?

I'd like to see the research on that one. What are the qualifications in that particular study for "H.Encounter"?
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1403
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 1:50 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

"at least on homosexual encounter"...
Is that per day?
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
The Red Pidgeon (Icarus)
Mousquetaire
Username: Icarus

Post Number: 30
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 1:38 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

So "K", should we assume that your secure seat has springs?
Kallisti (Admin)
Madame Guillotine
Username: Admin

Post Number: 944
Registered: 1-1998


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 1:32 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Geebus. Don't you guys read "Savage Love"???

Get with it.
“A lady who has a secure seat is never prettier than when in the saddle, and she who cannot make her conquest there, may despair of the power of her charms elsewhere.” - THE MANNERS THAT WIN, 1880

http://www.feeverte.net
Jay & The Imp (Thegreenimp)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Thegreenimp

Post Number: 252
Registered: 7-2001


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 11:52 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

lumberjack
Jack Collins (_blackjack_)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: _blackjack_

Post Number: 909
Registered: 11-2000


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 11:46 am:   Edit PostPrint Post


quote:

Yes LL if you blow a guy you ARE gay(sorry).



Unless you're, y'know, a woman.

Kinsey estimated about a third of men have had at least one homosexual encounter of some sort, usually in early adolecence. It isn't an indication of a homosexual orientation or preference. It is usually in the context ox exploration. Circle-jerks at summer camp, and that sort of thing.

Not to lecture (yeah, right) but sexual behavior, sexual preference and sexual orientation are not fixed, binary values, and there is more involved that just which set of organs you prefer to munch. I refuse to accept that Pat Robertson and I have the same sexual preference just because we both prefer women. I wouldn't touch Mrs. Robertson with a 10-foot Prussian, and the women I'm attracted to would make Pat shit his god-loving drawers.

Giving one blowjob no more makes you gay than cutting down one tree makes you a lumberjack.
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1396
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 8:21 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

It smells F R E E!
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
Mondino de' Luzzi (Drinkslinger)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Drinkslinger

Post Number: 214
Registered: 11-2002
Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 7:51 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I believe this question was addressed several months ago.

If a straight man sucks a dick he is labeled gay, but if a gay man eats a pussy, is he then straight? One word- bisexual...

Hey mattm3, remember that girl you hooked up with that swore she only had an enlarged clitoris... Didn't the adam's apple give it away?

It smells more like the hidey hole, than the lounge.
hal jourdin (Lanterne_verte)
Paysan
Username: Lanterne_verte

Post Number: 5
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 6:39 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Jeezuz H. It smells like...like...LOUCHLELOUNGE in here!
"These DTs remind me of the ladies I've known. They sure are pretty, but they make me feel like shit."
Nascentvirion (Nascentvirion)
le Duc
Username: Nascentvirion

Post Number: 282
Registered: 3-2002


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 6:26 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

What if you dont get a boner, while you suck some guy off.Would that make you gay ? I think it would make you more gay if some guy started to suck you off and you got a boner.

*** Note has never sucked or been sucked off by a guy and doesn't plan too***
mattm3 (Mattm3)
Mousquetaire
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 48
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 6:00 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

In prison if a guy sucks you dick you are streight, but if you suck some guy's dick you are gay. But we can ask sonopie soon enough!
The (Celticgent)
le Vicomte
Username: Celticgent

Post Number: 59
Registered: 10-2002


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 5:50 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

not if you're in prison......
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
mattm3 (Mattm3)
Mousquetaire
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 45
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 5:46 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yes LL if you blow a guy you ARE gay(sorry).
mattm3 (Mattm3)
Mousquetaire
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 44
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 5:44 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Ahh, the moonman stuff. I dont think new absinthe drinkers can afford it. But they should!!!
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1392
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 5:14 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

If I was blowing someone, would you think I was gay?
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
Moonman's friend (Wolfgang)
Elitist Bastard
Username: Wolfgang

Post Number: 905
Registered: 7-2001
Posted on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 10:22 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Since I discovered this forum years ago, my life have been an endless quest for absinthe related knowledge.


...And I`m now drinking something that would blow you away !
mattm3 (Mattm3)
Mousquetaire
Username: Mattm3

Post Number: 27
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2003 - 9:18 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Newbies go here, buy sapin, you will be happy
http://www.absintheonline.com/
ENORMUS DICK (Louched_liver)
Absinthe Mafia
Username: Louched_liver

Post Number: 1376
Registered: 12-2001


Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2003 - 9:10 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

I see it in my kitchen, then I see it in my glass.
The next time I see it, it's louchin' in the porcelain bird bath.
Where once I was lost, I now come back to pee.
Bd (Thesubletter)
Mousquetaire
Username: Thesubletter

Post Number: 10
Registered: 3-2003
Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2003 - 7:39 pm:   Edit PostPrint Post

Yes, I find myself still seeing traces of it everywhere. My thirst for more info lasted a while, till you read the "history in a bottle a 100 different ways over and over . Then you start to see how many people THINK they know what theyre talking about.
I also notice a lot of paintings and things inspired by absinthe. I still seem to see it everywhere, but if you look for it, youll see it. Or so you think. I dont like drinking beer or liquor so patis and absinthe are perfect for me. But just so goddamn expensive to ship. How much is it in your area?
Luc (Luc)
Paysan
Username: Luc

Post Number: 4
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 8:14 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

Thanx a lot dude, buy a la Bleue in Suisse will be more convenient for me.
silky slim (Sancho)
Paysan
Username: Sancho

Post Number: 1
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 7:10 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

you might try these folks... apparently they carry the same la bleues, but are a bit closer to your home... and are supposed to be much less expensive...

http://isuisse.ifrance.com/veuve-bleue/
--
sancho
Luc (Luc)
Paysan
Username: Luc

Post Number: 3
Registered: 4-2003


Posted on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 5:08 am:   Edit PostPrint Post

I am wondering if this is the normal way when you are starting to be interested in absinth :

I think a lot about it day and night (you must see the face of my girlfriend) and I read a lot of things to know everything.
It appears to me that Pernod 68, La Fée 68, Un Emile 68 and Swiss la Bleue are the finest (in 68%'s european absinths category).
Since I want to taste the best ones, I buy everything I can find. I even bought a Versinthe la Blanche (we find it in France without problem).
The price is amazing but I will buy a La Bleue to Bettina : I just want to know what's it's like.
When you started in absinth, did you feel this amazing thurst of "knowledge" ? :-))

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