|By Frater_Carfax on Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 01:51 am: Edit|
Oh dear, I seem to have been inspired....
Ode to my first taste of Jade Absinthe
It was upon a balmy Bangkok evening,
The bustle of an election was in the air,
That to my disgust, not a drop of alcohol was to be found,
Every 7-11 shelf was shamefully bare.
But amongst my anxious state of turmoil,
To my delight, a timely invitation had been made,
From a jovial expatriate and his lovely wife,
To come dine at the stately manor of Jade.
I delighted in a feast in the company of angels fallen,
But before this night was to pass,
A vessel of faye nectar was before me lain,
La belle dame sans merci in a glass.
Oh, who are these two magi who hath tamed the fairy wild?
Mere puffers, nay sir, alchemists of highest degree!
“One for the road” for the seventh time was cried,
As my soul was wed to my Mistress Fee.
So if in the City of Angels you find yourself a-roving,
Take heed and remember this,
The House of Jade may leave thy body and soul in bondage, true,
But such is the price for Emanian bliss.
|By Frater_Carfax on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 11:05 pm: Edit|
Came across an old poem from my childhood today that could be easily adapted....with lots of apologies to Douglas Adams
Oh don't give me none more of that Old Jade Spirit
No, don't give me none more of that Old Jade Spirit
For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die
Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Jade Spirit.
|By Absinthesque on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 06:42 am: Edit|
there's nothing left for me to do
but order more overpriced la bleue.
if i had the chance, i'd buy some jade,
but i keep on hearing that it's been delayed.
please hurry, messieurs walsh and breaux.
i thought i'd have it months ago.
|By Wormwood on Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 05:10 am: Edit|
I've got my spoon ready
Now I'm waiting Teddy
I guess I'm a poet
and I didn't even know it.
|By Sprite on Monday, April 02, 2001 - 01:19 am: Edit|
Wow, I had not been able to get back to these threads since I made this one, 57 posts! I am amazed and such great context too! A smile
goes out to Mr. Head. *smile*...... You all are really great!
|By Verawench on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 07:44 pm: Edit|
See the link below for my quote. The "postcard" is a picture of my best friend drinking a glass of Deva. For the first time. Note the delirious grin.
|By Petermarc on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 12:04 pm: Edit|
absinthe, spoon, sugar, water
cannot be bought
|By Chrysippvs on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 07:40 am: Edit|
A Sonnet Concerning Green Pillars
In distant lands, with rolling hills of green,
where bitter air fills the lungs of lost man.
The Alpine wilderness, so sweet, so clean,
hides some treacherous spirit under ban.
This specter haunts in the veins of lost men
and floods into the alpine hills and lakes.
She rises up in green pillars as sin,
and many the broken man she thus makes.
In Couvet, and Pontarlier she haunts.
Among the sullen cafe did stroll,
and now this specter, being loose, she daunts.
Her bitter call is loosed to take it's toll.
Green Pillar of our ancestors be found,
as verily in your spell, we are bound.
|By Thegreenimp on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 07:08 am: Edit|
Absinthe King, you are no treat, you taste like a pair of unwashed feet........
|By Tabreaux on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 06:45 am: Edit|
Serpis, slurpis, red like a beet;
Please knock Martin off his feet.
Red as a caboose, made with beetlejuice(?),
star anise, and a bit of grease.
|By Thegreenimp on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 06:41 am: Edit|
Mari, Mari, quite contrary, the flourescent colored, black jellybean fairy.
good lord now I'm doing this too.......Jay
|By Thegreenimp on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 06:35 am: Edit|
Edouard, Edouard, you have class, all I want is you in my Glass.
Nouvelle Orleans, you are a treat, perfectly balanced, and not too sweet.
|By Martin on Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 01:17 am: Edit|
^ * ^
|By Chrysippvs on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:59 pm: Edit|
"Philip Lasala, Justin Sledge;
One a scholar, the other, Lemon Pledge."
Why can't I be lemon pledge too?
|By Head_Prosthesis on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:51 pm: Edit|
IT TOOK MONTHS!!! BUT GODDAMN!!! YOU ALL FINALLY DID IT... Ted you are my new poetic hero. Thank you Sprite for setting it off. My work here is done.
|By Perruche_Verte on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 02:48 pm: Edit|
Sharp, shiny, RED: Absenta Serpis,
No Spanish absinthe could usurp this
touch. Sweet, tart, with greasy sheen,
Would it be better, were it green?
|By Mr_Rabbit on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 01:21 pm: Edit|
In comes my package all tied up with string
on outside it's labeled 'innocuous things'
inward I burrow, with scissors, with knives
flat hunks of cardboard are losing their lives
I cut and I search, eager to see
what the trolls who are postal have left here for me
will friend Deva, friend Serpis, ever be free?
I stand in my kitchen, in styrofoam snow
I had my damn glass out, now where did it go?
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 11:18 am: Edit|
Absenta Segarra, sweet and woody;
Many feel that you're a goody.
Amber color and chintzy label;
The distillery looks like it was once a stable.
|By Bob_Chong on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 11:10 am: Edit|
Julian Segarra, Man of Chert,
Your addition to the canon is no dirt.
A little something diff'rent from the regular fare,
I wonder what gives it that curious flair.
(homage to/ripoff of the Ted Breaux rhyming couplets scheme)
|By Joshua on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 11:00 am: Edit|
lol that was great ted,you are man of many talents
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:54 am: Edit|
Absenta Montana, your taste is grassy;
Not very smooth and kind of 'assy'.
Your color is not green, but rather yellow;
Apparently you are liked by at least one fellow.
|By Melinelly on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:51 am: Edit|
like my Don King-isms in that last poem?
|By Melinelly on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:48 am: Edit|
"medicine!" "poison!" cover your ears,
this fight will go on for hundreds of years.
'twas it the thujone drove people insane
or just a psychotic propensitized brain?
let them debate and rabble and rouse,
we'll bring home the fairy along with the cows.
there's zen in the louche, a heavenly sight,
a morning dew milky, herbacious, and light,
crisp like a cool summer breeze in the mind,
warm like a mother's touch gentle and kind.
while they argue, confustigate, squabble and squeak,
we'll send off to Thailand for answers they seek.
we'll gather in forums and laugh all the whiles
drinking and sharing our stories and smiles.
this is what matters. prohibition be damned!
cheers to the forumite absinthine clan!
cheers to Kallisti, Don Walsh, and Ted!
cheers to our deceptive claritine heads!
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:47 am: Edit|
Jade Liqueurs will be up soon;
Have ready your absinthe spoon.
Until then, you'll just have to wait;
The launch date is already 3 months late.
|By Joshua on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:47 am: Edit|
AN ODE TO MONTANA.
montana,montana,the lone absenta,no one mentions you,could it be no one cares about you.ive heard tales of you being clear,but ive always seen your pale yellow glow,you were my first,i love you dealry.sadly your home has run dry,your sisters have so far taken your place in the bottom of my glass.i long for your yellow touch once more.you never forget your first,even if the sister is better.my only complaint dear montana,is your yellow,it reminds me of decay,if only you were emerald,the color of the living forest.soon you will arrive snug in your coffin of styrofoam and tape.waiting to be resurrected,pentetrated by my spoon,sprinkled with my sugar.my longing for you is great.
|By Tlautrec on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:33 am: Edit|
Jade, oh Jade
In Thailand made
Come to us soon
Before we swoon
'Cause now we're stuck
With Czech swill (yuck!)
And Spanish candy
(Not so dandy)
There is la Bleue
So dear! Boo hoo
So Jade come soon
Perhaps by June?
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:29 am: Edit|
Just one more about Pilsner L'or;
Throw that bottle out the door.
If this is 'pilsner'(?), it's worse than Miller;
Just another doggy killer.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:27 am: Edit|
A final poem about Schulz absinth,
Reeks of fennel and de menthe.
Weak pale blue, like the sky,
Fools think it makes you high.
|By Joshua on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:27 am: Edit|
mari mayans,your color is of antifreeze,at first taste your brought me to my knees,you sat on my shelf till i felt like punishing myself.i guess you could be worse,theres always the hill's piss,you have grown on me like raging syphillus
|By Morriganlefey on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:23 am: Edit|
Ladies & Gentlemen, Ted Breaux - the Mother Goose of the absinthe forum.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:14 am: Edit|
La Fee, La Fee, the mystical eye;
Just what is truth and what is a lie?
A darker flavor and herbal too,
Some say it is simply green La Bleue.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:09 am: Edit|
Absinthe N.S. stands for does 'N'ot 'S'uck;
Ship a bottle, press your luck.
Smoother flavor, a touch of wormwood,
Deva drinkers say, "It's pretty good".
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:04 am: Edit|
Absinth Sebor, caused a fight;
one man wrong, the other right.
Thujone this, thujone that;
hardly worthy of a spat.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 10:01 am: Edit|
Deva, Deva, popular booze;
For many drinkers, the one they choose.
If the bottle not seized by postal police;
Expect 'swampy' citrus and star anise.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 09:49 am: Edit|
Philip Lasala, Justin Sledge;
One a scholar, the other, Lemon Pledge.
Take a sip, don't be foiled,
Just star anise and lemon oil.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 09:41 am: Edit|
Absinth King, a horrible thing;
lower than low, raped Van Gogh.
Ridiculous price, heed this advice:
Drink this liquor, never been sicker.
|By Terminus on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 09:28 am: Edit|
It is not wood alcohol flavored with Angostura bitters and colored with FD&C Blue #2 and Yellow #5, but it tastes like it. :-)
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 08:56 am: Edit|
Staroplzenecky, certainly yecchy.
Oil of fennel, smells like a kennel.
|By Melinelly on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 08:44 am: Edit|
if ever Hills was actually absinthe, perhaps this is what happened... heh:
there once was a bottle of Hills
got knocked over, uh oh, what a spill
they tried to their best
to salvage the mess
but couldn't so refilled with Windex instead.
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 08:39 am: Edit|
Hills, Hills, deplorable brew;
no, not green, but radioactive blue.
You may swear this is window cleaner;
to your head, it couldn't be meaner.
|By Absinthedrinker on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 08:12 am: Edit|
absinthe or pastis
I neither know nor care
"c'est ma santé"
I'd love to buy it, but where?
|By Tabreaux on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 07:46 am: Edit|
Mari Mayans, jellybean whore;
reeks of candy from the store.
Bloated price, makes you holler;
For the seller, another dollar.
|By Hersaint on Friday, March 30, 2001 - 07:01 am: Edit|
La Fee Verte I hear you cry
“Hills” and “Sebors” I’d rather die
Knock them back nice and quick
Try and stop me being Sick
Call this “Absinthe” I think not
Have they finally had their Lot?
No! People will buy them no matter how bad
Wrongly informed or just rather sad ………….
|By Tlautrec on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 11:16 pm: Edit|
Mari Mayans, you're so sweet
Licorice candy can't be beat
Mixed with wormwood sakes alive
Puts me in a spacey jive
|By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 05:14 pm: Edit|
St Mayans: Drinkin like a french-ay, gettin all that boo-tay, bumpin with the fair-ay.
Get ya louche on, yo!
|By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 05:11 pm: Edit|
Some say Absinthe drives you insane. Not true. I've been drinking it for years, and I'm OK. If you don't believe me, ask my friend Napoleon, the former emperor of france. He's right behind you, although currently invisible.
Wait. You're not one of THEM, are you???
|By _Blackjack on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 10:52 am: Edit|
Mari Mayans: It's like being smacked up-side the head by a sock full of black jellybeans.
|By Melinelly on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 08:47 am: Edit|
no, it was King Tee in the original commercials. Ice Cube started doing them a couple years after him. his were pretty funny too.
|By Wormwood on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 05:51 am: Edit|
This one is vintage:
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
|By Zack on Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 03:18 am: Edit|
I think it was Ice Cube with that St Ides add
"get your girl in the mood quicker; get your Jimmy thicker"
I just love malt liquor, its history is almost as rich as that of absinthe...
|By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 10:41 pm: Edit|
Oh damn! Why you gotta go after me birds???
|By G on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 10:38 pm: Edit|
The green fairy
was a hairy scary fairy
where she stared glaring
at wary Head's canary.
|By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 10:05 pm: Edit|
|By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 10:01 pm: Edit|
The louchey fairy fritters
in the souls of the living dead
I like the Green ado
I'll drink it down for you
I hear the laughing titters
they mock old Mr. Head
My fans are among the few
I like the SPRITE in you
|By Marc on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 07:00 pm: Edit|
even the worse looking dog on the earth
covered with scum and dried afterbirth
looks pretty good thru a glass tinted green
hardens my wood and stiffens my spleen
|By Oxygenee on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 06:50 pm: Edit|
Not original I'm afraid - the great Ogden Nash said it first:
|By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 06:43 pm: Edit|
"I SAID KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!!!"
|By Melinelly on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 05:09 pm: Edit|
reminds me of one of the first radio commercials for St Ides malt liquor that they used to play on KDAY in los angeles...
rapper, King Tee:
"St. Ides Malt Liquor
gets your jimmy thicker quicker"
that was around 1988 or so, maybe a little earlier.
|By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 04:40 pm: Edit|
She's a whiz with the word play isn't she?
When a girl says "liquor" is "quicker" That's pretty hot!
|By Bob_Chong on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 03:12 pm: Edit|
I spy your bride.
|By Sprite on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 02:18 pm: Edit|
This is cute, no?............
Ohhhhhh, its a little green liquor that'll get you
quicker than a snake in the grass ever could....
A mighty fine inticing drink don't clog your mind,
it let's your think, it makes you feel so darn good....
Ohhhhhh, absinthe I wish I lived in Spain where this lucious little
liquor must pour down just like rain....
But I live here in the USA where this liquor is outlawed,
where freedom is not really free and I'm treated like a frog. *"hIcUp" grin*
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