Absinthe- For Safety, For Health, For Tacos

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: Topics Archived thru April 2001:Absinthe- For Safety, For Health, For Tacos
By Pataphysician on Monday, April 16, 2001 - 12:30 pm: Edit

>Nothing says Christmas like a pair of huge shiny red balls, I always say...

Nothing says 'frostbite' like a pair of huge shiny red balls, I always say. Ouch!

By Midas on Monday, April 16, 2001 - 06:49 am: Edit

Yep, sorry. My bad.

By Head_Prosthesis on Sunday, April 15, 2001 - 02:19 pm: Edit

Doc Johnson? I think he's also the guy that coined the phrase "mailed in a plain brown wrapper".

By Bob_Chong on Sunday, April 15, 2001 - 01:05 pm: Edit

You mean Samuel Johnson, the great Dr. Johnson, writer of the first English dictionary.


BC

By Midas on Sunday, April 15, 2001 - 06:39 am: Edit

Morrigan, it's a great photo. I was just curious. And you're right, seasonal festivities must always start with, and include throughout, a good set of balls.
OK, I can't resist. One of my favourite quotes of all time is from the preface of "Shakespeare's Works" by Samuel Johnstone. It reads:
"That confidence which presumes to do, by surveying the surface, what labour can only do by penetrating the bottom."
I apologise, I grew up on Carry On films. I'm thinking of calling my memoirs "Carry On Bobbing".
-Robert.

By _Blackjack on Saturday, April 14, 2001 - 01:03 pm: Edit

I think "maggot" is one of the most perfectly onomatopoetic words in existance. That, and "schtupp."

By Perruche_Verte on Saturday, April 14, 2001 - 11:38 am: Edit

I want to thank you all (especially Rabbit) for providing me with Why I'm Vegetarian, Reason #353.

PV

By Morriganlefey on Saturday, April 14, 2001 - 10:38 am: Edit

Midas - I am actually draping myself upon (rather than sitting upon) 2 huge 30' shiny red Christmas balls (ornaments) that adorned 101 California Plaza last Christmas. The shot was taken from below - not a flattering angle, but it's rather surreal, no?

Nothing says Christmas like a pair of huge shiny red balls, I always say...

- Morrigan

By Midas on Saturday, April 14, 2001 - 01:53 am: Edit

Morrigan, what on earth are you sitting in, in your profile picture?

By Morriganlefey on Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:54 am: Edit

Midas, Blackjack, I join your Parasite Repulsion Club. And for me, even more abhorant are maggots. I absolutely run screaming from the little buggers. But then, I'm a girly-girl, so I guess that's fitting, right Artemis?

- Morrigan

By Bjacques on Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:13 am: Edit

Darling, won't you buy me a taco, a taco? - Rudy Schwartz Project

Living in BSE-land, I'm somewhat shocked to go home to Texas, where calves' brains are served in tacos.

By Midas on Friday, April 13, 2001 - 09:50 am: Edit

Blackjack, you and me both. I have an unnatural repulsion for parasites, ever since a high school biology period when the teacher MADE us watch a documentary about parisitism. I'll never forget the image of a bumble bee with a crawling second skin, made up of thousands of tiny white mites.
Excuse me, I need a shower...

By Head_Prosthesis on Friday, April 13, 2001 - 12:22 am: Edit

Hello Zesty?

By Anatomist1 on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 06:34 pm: Edit

You can find that on STEREOPATHIC SOULMANURE, if you care to. Interestingly, I only heard that song once, but I'll never forget it.

K.

By Anatomist1 on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 06:30 pm: Edit

Actually, BECK already wrote the taco song, although it appears you guys wer on the right track:

Satan Gave Me a Taco


Satan gave me a taco
and it made me really sick
the chicken was all raw
and the grease was mighty thick
the rice was all rancid
and the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy
eatin' all the lard
there was aphids on the lettuce
and I ate every one
and after I was done
the salsa melted off my tongue
pieces of tortilla
got stuck in my throat
and the stains on my clothes
burned a hole through my coat
my stomach was a'tremblin'
and I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty
and I didn't have no cash
so I went and found a hose
tore off all my clothes
turned on the water
and it shot right up my nose
some old lady came along
and she thought I was a freak
so she beat me with her handbag
'til I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked
my body badly bruised
in a pool of my own blood
unconscious and confused
well the cops came and got me
and threw me in their van
and I woke up on the ceiling
and I couldn't find my hand
they took me to the judge
his eyes a'glowin' red
the courtroom was filled
with witches and the dead
well the sheriff was a hell-hound
with fangs and claws
the prisoners were tied up
and chained to the walls
the air was getting thick
the smoke was getting thicker
the judge read the verdict
said "Cut off his head!"
well they placed me on the altar
and they raised up the axe
my head was about to explode
when I noticed the Marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines
cameras and the lights
some guy with a microphone
runnin' around dancin' in tights
and I noticed the crew
and the band playin' down below
and I realized I was in a rock video
So I went and joined the band
and I went out on tour
and I smoked a lot of heroin
and I passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies (aw yeah)
started fires backstage (aw yeah, start 'em up)
made a lot of money (aw yeah, I'm makin it)
and I gave it all away (give it all to me)
well the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)
so I started a solo career (aw haw, yeah
and I won all the awards (get 'em all now)
and I drank all the beer (drink it all up; get funky)
and I opened up the taco stand (aw haw, etc.)
just to smell the smell
cookin' with the devil
fryin' down in hell

.... what can I say, that Beck is a big brain on drugs...

K.

By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 05:21 pm: Edit

OK, let me say Ewwww right back.

Toungue taco.

Would you like some deep fried lymph nodes with that, or perhaps a Bloomin Spleen? Try the rocky mountain quesedilias!

By _Blackjack on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 04:26 pm: Edit

Can I just say, ew! I HATE the idea of parasites. I know there are all sorts of things crawling in and on me that I can't see, but the idea of worms in my bloodstream or my brain...ewewewew

I got food poisoning from a tongue taco last fall, BTW...

By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 03:37 pm: Edit

Now that is a song waiting to happen... with lots of noise, electric guitars, and maybe a voice distorter ala Ministry.

Satan made my tacos, he made em real hot
Satan made my tacos, and NOW MY BRAINS ARE SHOT

(unintelligble screaming, gratuitous guitar licks)

The doctors cannot help me
with these brain worms that I've got

Eating Satan's tacos (refrain)

Satan's siezure tacos, pork is better raw, he'll serve it if it's frozen, don't wait for it to thaw

(refrain)

And though I know it's wrong yeah, that guacamole calls, that guacamole calls, (more screaming)

And now this song is over, because my brains are shot, the worm ate all the lyrics, and this all I got

By Anatomist1 on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 10:11 am: Edit

I'll bet Satan sold her that taco.

By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 08:58 am: Edit

Probably not possible, no- it was an encysted parasite that hatched into her bloodstream, and the problems (seizures etc) actually start after the worm dies.

But that's still no excuse not to drink!

Vermigugic is a typo of vermifugic.

But don't tell anyone. Hopefully if I use it enough, it will end up in a dictionary.

It's fun to make a word up (or deliberately misuse one) and get people to use it. I have acquaintances who still use a few words that were made up.

Dicentulous is one. I told them it meant when beaurocratic processes hamper an organization. The management here is dicentulous.

Try it! And have a taco, but make sure it isn't encourrnic, or you could get plastycirrhitis.

By Rtlplus3 on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 07:08 am: Edit

Is it possible a dose of wormwood could have fixed her right up?

"vermigugic" is this a new word?
Wormjoke?
I like it.

By Mr_Rabbit on Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 06:34 am: Edit

So there was this lady in Mexico, and she ate a pork taco.

And then the taco started eating her. That is, this worm from the taco ended up in her brain, kinda like James and the Giant peach, but with a worm and someone's head, and probably the worm wasn't cute or running away from evil step parents or anything.

It't true! I seen it on the internet!

You just never know when the vermigugic properties of your favorite drink are gonna come up.

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/htx/abc/20010410/hl/brainworm010410_1.html

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