New Bjork Movie: Steal This Idea

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: New Bjork Movie: Steal This Idea
By Heiko on Tuesday, May 01, 2001 - 02:36 am: Edit

Bjacques, you can find some movies on Gnutella - but don't expect to find those you want. You gotta take what's there and be glad if it runs faster than 1K/s...
Of course I have only heard about this - I do not own any divx movies ;-)

By Bjacques on Tuesday, May 01, 2001 - 12:46 am: Edit

For info about the above:

And for the Wicked Witch Project:

By Bjacques on Tuesday, May 01, 2001 - 12:43 am: Edit

About 13 years ago, someone did "Apocalypse Pooh" and "Blue Peanuts" by editing the cartoons to more orless correspond with the best moments of "Apocalypse Now" and "Blue Velvet." The "bye, tiger!" bit you can imagine, and "in the end, even the jungle wanted him dead," was priceless.

The guy also did the Ron & Nancy "Say Yes To Drugs" public announcement, a pretty good job of editing AND he did the the Archies singing "God Save the Queen."

I haven't found these online, but the first two are on Shocking TV, a 1987 compilation by Chris Gore of Film Threat magazine.

All of this find its way online when the Napster/Gnutella system is applied to trading videos, if it hasn't already.

My own video archive, alas, is in storage.

By Thegreenimp on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 04:43 pm: Edit

I stand corrected about Bernie's masterful delivery of his immortal quote.
I believe he did an earlier movie where he played an Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves type character,
in a Sand and Sword genre movie.
It's been so long since I heard of the quote, so I will have to dig up those two golden moments of film and roll them some night.

By Mr_Rabbit on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 09:07 am: Edit

Does anyone know the title of the one where John Wayne started out as a poor coal miner (or was it steel worker?) and ended up owning the mine/mill and being a total rat bastard? Its' my favorite John Wayne movie of all time, but I can't remember for the life of me (I was drunk when I saw it...)

Great flick, John was not the good guy. The only really bad part was a very tacked on patriotic ending. It's like they forced the director into in and he said 'fine! But fuck continuity- I want this to look pasted on.'

As to the Wizard of Oz- Tim Burton would rock the house. The story is already pretty well laid out, yes? So he would have to make it pretty, make it visually stunning, and imagery is where he excells- and also in large part where the Wizard of Oz excells.

How about 'Apocolypse Oz': The fat man behind the curtain would recite poetry, random madness... "now that's a horse of a different color. The flying monkeys, THEY KNOW, they know, but no one melted the witch, but in melting her did you also melt your own morality? Bring me a danish. I am the great and terrible Oz, I am nothing, NOTHING..."

By Don_Walsh on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 07:24 am: Edit

John Wayne was capable of playing a non-cowboy. He did an OK job as Temajin aka Genghis Khan. Well, on second thought, arguably the Mongols were cowboys. Nevertheless, JW as GK did avoid all of the mannerisms one observes him using in THE HORSE SOLDIERS and a hundred other films.

Of course there are countless truly awful Wayne films -- not even counting the early years. 'Big Jim Mclain' jumps to mind, a propaganda piece in honor of the House Un-American Activities Committee. And that one was written by a friend of mine, although he refused money for it, and made up for it by writing THUNDER ROAD.

By Don_Walsh on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 07:16 am: Edit

Dear Jay

As much as I love you, old friend, I must make a small correction.

"Yondah Lies Da Kastel oh mah Fawdah" was delivered by Tony Curtis not in a 'Sand Niggah' epic, but in "The Black Shield of Falworth" which was a costume drama depicting Curtis as a returning crusader knight who finds that his family keep, lands, title, and fortune have been stolen, and who sets out to right the wrong. More or less the Robin Hood story opening but with a different plotline. Despite Tony's New Yawk accent, the movie isn't all THAT bad (it was NOT directed by Ed Wood Jr.) as an example of its genre.

By Anatomist1 on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 05:55 pm: Edit

I'll admit that Burton has a hell of a vision when it comes to art direction and coming up with kooky, wierd shit. I liked BEETELGEUSE and NIGHTMARE best. However, when it comes to essential parts of directing such as cinematography/lighting issues, storytelling, and just plain editing, I think he's just shooting in the dark. In HOLLOW, although the color palette was interesting, most of the film was lit with diffused, shadowless light a la an overcast day, which made for some very boring visuals. Storywise: double yawn, and I don't think it can all be blamed on the script. Regardless of the apropriateness of cameos in MARS, they interrupted the flow of the movie to the point of draining all the humor out and rendering it a boring slog. I could go on. I think he needs help. A co-director with good storytelling and photo instincts might do the trick.

Like Lynch, I think it's a shame when filmmakers that are doing something unusual get a measure of fame and start to think their shit doesn't stink. I suspect they rationalize that people with something critical to say just "don't get it" and they use their new found power to surround themselves with yes-men, thereby taking themselves out of any critical feedback loops that could help them to grow, sharpen up, and concede that they need help and input sometimes. Broad specualtion of course. It could be that they're just capable of only going so far. Just because something is weird doesn't mean it's good. I choose to be harder on the mainstream cultural standard-bearers of strangeness, not easier. I think they need more kicks in the ass than pats on the back.


By Thegreenimp on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 04:56 pm: Edit

Even better was Tony Curtis delivering the line:
"Yonder Lies Da Castle Of My Fadder Da Shiek", in one of those cheesy Arabian Knights movies.

By Pataphysician on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 04:41 pm: Edit

>John Wayne as a Centurian.

Ooo! Ooo! Greatest delivery of a line in film history:

[imagine a John Wayne accent:] "Surely, he was the son o' Gawd."

By Marc on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 10:38 am: Edit

MARS ATTACKS was, among many other things, a satire of "disaster" films like THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and EARTHQUAKE. So, of course it had to have a shitload of celebrity cameos.

How can you accuse Burton of lacking vision?
He may be inconsistent, but he certainly doesn't lack vision. Of contemporary filmmakers, his films have a unique look and sensibility that sets them apart from the banal cinematic crap that litters the multi-plexes. PEE WEE"S BIG ADVENTURE, BATMAN, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, ED WOOD and BEETLEJUICE are terrific movies. And even his lesser films, SLEEPY HOLLOW and MARS ATTACKS, are filled with remarkable moments.

By Ariadnae on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 09:22 am: Edit

I found MARS ATTACKS! rather humorous, except for Jack Nicholson, who should have been kept to one cameo rather than two. Although I have to agree about the degree of grotesque suitable for good horror--which, for the most part, is difficult to generate. MA's level of grotesque seemed to work for me. Maybe it had to do with peculiar memories of Famous Monsters magazine and those Aurora model sets that were banned after being on the market for about a year (back in the late 60's or early 70's). Burton's grotesque best had to be BATMAN RETURNS.

The cameos were less distrating to MA's kitsch than they were in George Stevens' THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD. Jamie Farr as an apostle. Claude Rains as Herod the Great. Pat Boone as an angel. John Wayne as a Centurian. Sheesh! Killed a visually impressive film.

By Anatomist1 on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 02:15 am: Edit

Yeah, I gotta learn to throttle back on knocking the other guy's merchandise. In this case, it's one of those "pathology of minor differences" things. As a fellow worker in the field of grotesquerie, I find Burton galling. SLEEPY HOLLOW just cemented it for me. He should have topped out at art director or assistant director. As captain of the ship, he's a disaster at least half the time. Vision problem. His work is better when it has a humorous element, but his over-the-top style doesn't seem capable of the subtlety required for horror or the kind of dark adventure it appears he would like to make. Come to think of it, MARS ATTACKS was also ruined by lack of vision. It would have been absolutely hilarious if the gags weren't repeatedly being interrupted by one inane star cameo after another. Someone should re-edit a shorter, funny version and leave the People Magazine bits on the cutting room floor.

D'ohh! So much for not knocking the other fellow's merchandise....


By Morriganlefey on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 08:06 pm: Edit

Arrgh! I was completely with you until you slashed Mr. Burton!! I've been a huge fan of his ever since Frankenweenie. Everone should be allowed one "misstep", ie. Sleepy Hollow (which I thought LOOKED fantastic, despite it's script).

I'd certainly accept Terry Gilliam, though. Oz with a "Baron Munchhausen-esque" look would be excellent.


By Anatomist1 on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 03:50 pm: Edit

I just had a great idea for a new film: a "remake" of the WIZARD OF OZ with Bjork as Dorothy. Bjork is given complete freedom to compose the music as she sees fit. The director would have to be Terry Gilliam, the Cohen Bros., or someone else sufficiently demented. Maybe the art designers from THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN could be involved. One stipulation: under no circumstances can Tim Burton be allowed anywhere near this project. After SLEEPY HOLLOW, he should have his artistic licence revoked.

Who's with me?


Administrator's Control Panel -- Board Moderators Only
Administer Page |Delete Conversation |Close Conversation |Move Conversation