My Humble Review of Swiss Le Bleu and Betina Elixirs

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: My Humble Review of Swiss Le Bleu and Betina Elixirs
By Pataphysician on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 11:35 am: Edit

"Sad eyed kids and velvet elvises,
Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,
My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,
Should I leave them by your gate,
Or, sad-eyed kids, should I wait?"

By Mr_Rabbit on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 09:57 am: Edit

Hey! Maybe Lars is a real guy. It could happen!

Lars old man- tell us some things about Ohio. What do you paint? Houses? Pictures? Sad eyed kids and velvet Elvises?

Wow. That's a good title for a CD. Sad eyed kids and velvet elvises.

By Melinelly on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 09:24 am: Edit

don't know about other people's monitor settings, but at 600x800, the text in Larsbogart's post wraps around.

obviously, whoever posted it did not type it into the "Add a Message" box. it's a cut and paste job. probably something Bettina updates in word or some other such program when she gets new products in and just to change the wording slightly so it's not exactly the same post every time.

least she could do is change the formatting so it doesn't wrap like that and hurt my eyes reading it =)

it's just a marketing technique... like all those fake testimonials on late night infommercial tv... and just as void of honesty.

oh well. ce la vie.

By Aion on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 06:03 am: Edit

I doubt that it is possible that anyone, who is interested in Absinthe does not find this forum.
And once this person has found this forum I would think it would be absolutely stupid to concentrate on the actual discussions only and ignore the masses of information hidden in old posts. And to miss the fun to see how things developed.
So how can it be that there are always posts from people who tell us - lucky and with a smile on their face – that they have just thrown big buck out of the window??
And doing business with that B-person (and some other leeches out there) seems to be nothing else.
Just wondering!
A.

By Don_Walsh on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 03:53 am: Edit

(in a robotlike droneing monotone:)

No Justin I did not see that. But it sounds funy. Ha Ha Ha.

Why are all these people being so mean to Betina? I think she is a nice person and really cute too.

Now I am going to go drink some La Bleue, I like it so much better that the Jade stuff.

Ha Ha Ha

zzzzzzzzzzzz

By Hersaint on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 02:53 am: Edit

Right I have kept quite on this issue long enough


Betina and I had a conversation when I first started looking for La Bleue, She said she could help me and to trust her and no one else (Usual Bullshit). Although when I saw her prices I was put off and ordered from SC (Thanks to everyone on the forum).

I agreed to pick Betina up from Luton Airport (At no cost to her) as she was coming into the UK. She was going to bring me a bottle of Absinthe.


I was going to travel over 200 mile round trip to pick her up and in return what was I going to get (she informed me by email) a bottle of Deva, that wouldn’t even cover my expenses and something I could get from SC for less than £10.

When she had found out I had spoken to Ted she was rude to me and tried putting me off speaking to him or helping him, as she wants to be the only contact for La Fee.

When she found out about me ordering the La Bleue from somewhere else and actually putting this in the forum that I had got 3 bottles direct from Switzerland for £150 she went mad, she slagged me off in an email saying she wanted nothing to do with me ever again (Phew) and I should not be publicising where this La Bleue was available from.

I don’t believe any of these so-called "Betina" posts are real just a little Jedi mind trick (Looks a bit like Yoda). If you have so much money to burn and no time to source another contact and perhaps enjoy associating with a Homicidal maniac that resembles something out of a horror movie then that’s fine with me!!!!

But please as if anyone gives a shit ……. Stop blowing your own trumpet, not that anyone else would want to blow it for you.

Zack a very Funny Post

By Chrysippvs on Tuesday, May 15, 2001 - 01:28 am: Edit

If it is Betty, that is pretty amazing that she would sit around and type for that long...

Hey Don did you see cthulhu on Futurama the other night. They were auctioning off the milky way galaxy on the future e-bay and the "being of unspeakable horror" won the bidding. It was great, he had a cephaloid apperance and everything....thought you would like to know..

- J

By Bob_Chong on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 11:54 pm: Edit

Fuck the shill theory: this is Betty herself. Look at the formatting of a past Betty post and compare:

748.html"59.html" TARGET="_top">../16/59.html?MondayJune1220000332pm#POST212

There are more examples, of course. Adios, "Lars Bogart." You will go the way of such other luminaries as Uncle Willie, Daria, and all the other psuedonyms.

BC

By Bob_Chong on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 11:32 pm: Edit

Shit--everyone was doing so well at gutting and fileting this guy, I almost feel bad even posting on this one.

I'd like to second Artemis' suggestion that Bogart obtains some asbestos underwear (credit to K for coining that). And I'd like to second Head's citing the irony re: the length of the "humble" post. Zack, the 40 post was inspired. Don't forget your brown paper bag.

I guess this is just a wordy "me too" post.

BC

By Zack on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 10:28 pm: Edit

Hey Heiko,

Do you have 40 oz Malt Liquor in Germany?

By Heiko on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 10:23 pm: Edit

"its a perfect refreshment to serve a friend, before you knock them out and take advantage of them." - Roche Pharmaceuticals Rohypnol®

By Heiko on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 10:17 pm: Edit

"These kinds of testimonials bettina doesn't need."

Doesn't need? Maybe she's getting better in deceiving people?

"if they only knew, oooh oooh oooh"
... that it's me, heee heee heee!

By Marc on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 10:09 pm: Edit

larsbogart describes himself as a "lowly painter".
Yeah, with a trust fund. These kinds of testimonials bettina doesn't need. bogart's prose is a florid combination of romance novel and Rod McKuen.

"its a perfect refreshment to serve a friend, before you knock them out and take advantage of them."

bogart, your concept of friendship sounds more like a rape fantasy. "lowly painter". "lowly" is definitely the operative word.

By Wolfgang on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 09:21 pm: Edit

Ok, our lovely chonger is not there yet so I will take his place until the master come ;-)

larsbogart :
What kind of idiot would do such kind of bad marketing ? Damn it! How much discount did you get for writing this ? Not enaugh to drop the price of your Deva bellow SC I guess... Or maybe you`r a sucker trying to make Betina looks stupid ?

Zack : You`r now my favorite clown ;-) Yes, yes, over Crusty.

Wolf.

By Heiko on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 09:11 pm: Edit

Man, I first read your post, Zack, and wasn't really sure what you're talking about - then I read the whole thing. Parody backwards, so to speak...a good laugh...

Maybe we could give this thread a subtitle:

"My humble review of Swiss La Bleue and Betina Elixiers - two thousand dollars full of joy" ;-)

May I be the first to suspect this time that Mr. Pascale's real name is Betina? These flowery descriptions, the ultimate length of the post, the fact that this spontaneous description of joy was written after weeks, many, many Absinthes later - it somehow makes me wonder...

By Dr_Ordinaire on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 08:43 pm: Edit

Zack, I almost fell off the chair with laughter. You are a gifted humorist, man!

By Zack on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 07:45 pm: Edit

My 'Malt Liquor 40 OZ Experience' started with the legendary Colt 45 40oz from Omar's on the corner. What ever it was, for all my life, inside me that had to hunt Malt Liquor down, a relentless "can't sleep" craving to posses it, the risk of death to discover it, drink something I'd imagined like beautiful dreams led me to Omar. I thank all the dead rappers for their guidance. I wasted days of my life in pursuit. I traveled to find it: Got my white-ass mugged in the worst ghettos of my city, spent my milk money in rat-infested "super"markets, even eating in dark alleys with the homeless bums looking, waiting, hoping, then giving up... But then, I found an online-yellowpages for my city on the Internet! I searched for malt liquor, no luck. i searched for 40 oz, and BINGO - 0.3 mi away was Omar's E-Z Mart, carrying everything from malt liquor to malted milk balls. I knew this was the place...I immediately walked down to the corner of the next block and entered the sacred shop. Like a smelly Arab with bad English Omar guided me to Colt 45 in the stylish 40oz bottle. (The price of the Colt was suspiciously more than all the other 40s, $5 compared to the $0.99 of the others, but what do I know about this great stuff?)
I ran all the way home cradling the cold Colt in my arms. When I got home I started to open the bottle, but then I started thinking about important things that go along with swilling a 40 oz...I had no paper sack over the beautiful red, white, and blue label, and I was inside my apartment warm, and in no immediate danger...I decided to drink it anyway...When the flavors coated my tongue: then, I knew Malt drinking was nothing like beer drinking I had done prior in my life. This was to be a quick, not too pleasant process, and I really liked that. The majority of my favorite rap artists and O.G.'s had been Malt Liquor imbibers and I was curious to see how it would affect me. I wasn't expecting to feel as if I was wading through bullets as I walked, like Chuck D had described, but I was expecting to feel something. Even something scary. I'd been and drunk and found the effects enjoyable. I think THAT is in the past. After being "Malt Liqed" the thought of a numbing, spinning, nauseating drunk is repulsive to me. The 40 oz introduced a comforting and refreshing drink, bringing a clarity that soothes, as opposed to a ulling numbness. The problems I would have liked to go away drinking myself into an alcoholic stupor, I confronted! As I began feeling the MALT in the Malt Liquor. (Omar told me Malt is the proven psychoactive ingredient in Malt Liquor)
It was very important to consume a lot and bang them back quickly. I chugged the brew, set it down.and tried not to vomit from the taste. I sipped and sat down and contemplated. "Why did i never see that blood stain like that? Why haven't I seen that hoe before? Why haven't I seen the silver being thrown from a chromed up Glock? To hell with beer, and spinning. Trusting Omar with my life, I next tried Olde English '800'. It was love at first sip. Much heavier, it got my buzz going alot faster. The impressive visual of the O.E. is to see it on the shelf. You absolutely forget where you are because you are immersed in a liquid urine pool then bursts into a gentle, urinescent cyclone (if you spin around fast enough). It mesmerized me. I knew when to stop spinning by this time. I could see a foam floating on the top of the mixture. And at this top I saw the sunset of the malt and liquor. Scheesch, that sensitivity never struck me while drinking beer. The taste of the O.E. was sweet, but not quite as sweet as the Colt 45. I was very happy with the Olde English. Add that to the shopping cart next time, in fact, always have an O.E. in your house.
Whatever I touched felt completely different, and more like a weapon I could use to rob someone, or just protect ma self in da hood. By this time i felt so much at ease with Omar i asked for him suggestions. I wanted to try different brands and he was patient with me. unselfish with his time. But he does sleep in pretty late. Best not to stop by early, before his dunkin donuts delivery. I was curious of the Olde English, had liked the ponderous flavors in this drink, so I requested St. Ides and Schlitzs. I recommend both. Different as night and day. Very reasonable. Good old fashioned heavy big 40 oz bottles. I was Thrilled. The St. Ides threw me, it was somewhat bitter. Out came the puke bucket. I had a selection, the Schlitzs was sweet with a blue bull on the label. A real Spanish bullfighting bull. Extrordinary. And I would add that to the cart too, because it is so enormous it seems to never run out. And it's the perfect refreshment to serve a friend, before you knock them out and take advantage of them. (Omar gave me this great tip too!) I still had no brown paper sack. But because I had a selection, the Schlitzs, sweet with a blue bull, and the St. Ides, with the crooked "I". I decided to just wrap a paper-towel around the bottles. DON'T do that either. Get a bag right away. But get one you love. And splurge, it has a purpose. Keep you r eye on it though. When using a paper towel, the bottle can slip right outta your hand! With both the Ides and the BlueBull two fairly strong drinks were enough to feel the wondrous effects of Malt Liquor. Into the picture entered the freezer. Only about 30 minutes to give it an extra chill. If I made it strong with more sunset of Malt, I would add another half hour of freezer time. I finally received my brown paper sack and a place to lean against a wall with my last purchase of Mickey's and Steel Reserve 211 from Omar. (He had a busy 40 oz month last month and had ran out.) True to his word he had saved me a place on his wall outside his store. He held it on my word. What a pal. My mistakes were behind me. All the pieces now fit together. My sack which held my cold 40 oz, my pot, and a wall to hold up. They put those bags on there for a reason. I was lucky to get his last two. That is how gracious he is. I dont know how he knew that i would love those, but he did.
Those of you with more of a refined taste will adore the Steel Reserve, its a more elegant urinesqe color, but very potent (8.1%alch). Needless to say dont overdrink it. Everything was exactly as it was a decade ago, every swig i took, every drag on the roach. And this happened any time i opened my eyes. Steel Reserve is the brand I would recommend if that interests you. My most recent order was of the Mickey's "Fine Malt Liquor". Though I have just recently opened it, i dont think ill be finishing it. Omar told me it was hard to acquire. It is a dark green bottle and the greenest label I have seen yet. This tastes like piss, and doesn't pack much of an alcoholic punch. Drink it if you can. Now I am a convert, I have what I always wanted 40 OZ Malt Liquor. And I have both a reliable and wise source, Omar's E-Z Mart. Omar has delivered on time with no breakage yet, and i have never been disappointed. Not once. 5 stars. A very helpful and warm person I hereby become a reference...

By Artemis on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 06:59 pm: Edit

Laughing out loud at Anatomist, Head, and Chong. This Conehead Cartwright thing is about the funniest thing to come along here in years. I congratulate you guys for being so creative with it.

By Anatomist1 on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 05:21 pm: Edit

Uh... I wouldn't expect Chong around here just now. I just received a dispatch that at least half a platoon of coneheads has him pinned down in the lz, two clicks south of the Ponderosa. And, man, I've seen them goons when they come back from the shit... bottomless pits in their eyes. Don't let 'em catch you tryin' to look either... Once them coneheads gets the scent of ya out there on the dark prarie, you'd best just do yourself... through the eye is the only way to be sure. A lot of dumbasses try for the temple and end up with nothin but a gouge on their scalp when their torture session starts...


K.

By Head_Prosthesis on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 04:53 pm: Edit

That was very long...

By Terminus on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 03:52 pm: Edit

Another Betina shill?

To any newbies who read Mr. Larsbogart's post:

ORDER DEVA, SEGARRA AND SERPIS DIRECTLY FROM SPIRITS CORNER. IT IS MUCH, MUCH, MUCH CHEAPER THAN GOING THROUGH A MIDDLEMAN (BETINA).

Betina recently ripped off a newbie poster who is a poor college student. God knows what she charged for a bottle of Deva 70%. He sent an e-mail to me complaining about her high prices.

Don't let talk about customs scare you.

By Artemis on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 03:23 pm: Edit

Have you ever actually read this forum? You talk as though we've never head of La Fee or Oxygenee, not to mention the other stuff, which is as common as dirt by now.

I hope a fireproof suit came with those products, because you're going to need it before this thread is dead.

By Morriganlefey on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 02:27 pm: Edit

Get ready for some "Chonging"....

By Germanandy on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 02:14 pm: Edit

you must be very very rich!!!

By Larsbogart on Monday, May 14, 2001 - 01:45 pm: Edit

My absinthe experience started with Bettina Elixirs bottle of Swiss La Bleue
#1. What ever it was, for all my life, inside me that had to hunt absinthe down, a relentless
"can't sleep" craving to posses it, the risk of death to discover it, drink something I'd
imagined like beautiful dreams led me to Bettina . i thank the the la fee's for their guidance.
Madre de mios, I wasted years of my life in pursuit. I traveled to find it, Got slashed
by Turks in the French flea markets. Spent college tuitions in Switzerland,
even ate in Morrocan restaurants down greasy Paris streets looking, waiting, hoping, then giving up .But, I now had found
Betina and I question whether she found
me as I tried to re-find her in that maze of sites online and I couldn't.
I
emailed every "(web)ringer" [no slurs intended] and I was promised just about
everything and it all sounded good. It always does when you read something online. I was not going to send any money to some
bullshit website for something dubious, then try to recoup my money from, whom? I e-mailed everyone and Bettina. they all e-mailed me back.
After I read Betty's response I deleted all the others. i knew i'd found my source and I was excited. so I did something I
never do and I called her. We had an instant rapport. Instant trust. Like a fairy Godmother she guided me to delicate Swiss le bleu.
I made my decision on the le blue #1. One or two i thought. What if I never hear from her again and its really good? Then maybe I should get a spare. I sent my money order to Bettina Elixirs overnight delivery. OK, OK , i couldnt wait. As soon as it arrived she sent my tracking number. I checked. It was already on the way. I did
check every 15 minutes in honor of Andy Warhol, then I got bored with it,
just like Andy would have. But I
felt assured if anything went wrong, Bettina was cool. She was not going
to " fuck with me ". There was a guarantee if anything happened it would be replaced, AND NOONE ELSE OFFERED THAT. I instinctively knew , as
maybe you will know that i trusted and liked her. Close friends that I share with, and have refered to her, have bonded with
her, to points of jealousy. You will learn who you can share Betty with,
there is only so much of her to go around.
My bottle of Swiss La Bleue arrived stressless and unbroken. There it was in a box,
Absinthe, appearing just at the right fluttering time. I had for myself a
bottle of the holy grail of absinthe. the only thing missing were trumpets to hearald its arrival.
unfortunately, I had no glass, no spoon, no sugar cube. I thought to shortcut the ritual
and
just make my own cocktail. That's the wrong thing to do. and I knew it from
my
first sip. I just knew it.
If you are find yourself lucky enough to drink absinthe in a place where you are
comfortable i think something
guided you there. To savor the moment is
what was I found most beckoning.
Like a bee to nectar. When the flavors
coated my tongue: then, I knew absinthe was nothing like
alcohol
drinking I had done prior in my life. Absinthe drinking was to be a
slow, savory process. And I
really liked that.
The majority of my favorite artists and writers had been absinthe imbibers and I was curious to
see how it would affect me.I wasn't expecting to feel as if I was wading
through tulips as I walked, like Oscar Wilde had described, but I was expecting to feel something.
Even something scary. I'd been and drunk and found the effects enjoyable. I think
THAT
is in the past. After being "ABSINTHED "the thought of a numbing, spinning,
nauseating drunk is repulsive to me. Pignatious.
Absinthe introduced a comforting and refreshing drink, bringing a
clarity
that soothes, as opposed to a ulling numbness. The problems I would have liked to
go away drinking myself into an alcoholic stupor, I confronted! As I began feeling the
thujone in the absinthe. It was not important to consume a lot
or bang them back quickly. I tasted the nectar, set it down.and absorbed the taste. I
sipped and sat down and contemplated. "Why did i
never see blue like that? Why haven't I heard that before? Why haven't I
seen
the silver being thrown from a full moon? To hell with alcohol, and
spinning.
The Swiss La Bleue i tasted didn't need sugar. The minute it louches, its
done,
you can drink it room temperature and I have never been able to do that with anything. Too Days of Wine and Roses.
Trusting Betina with my life, I next tried Spanish Deva. It was love at
first
sip. Much heavier, it
made a dramatic green louche in my still ordinary glass. The impressive
visual of the Deva is to see it louche. You absolutely forget where you are
because you are immersed in a liquid green pool then bursts into a gentle,
opalescent cyclone. It mesmerized me. I knew when to stop pouring by this
time. I could see an oil or essence floating on the top of the mixture. And
at
this top I saw the sunset of the water and absinthe. Scheesch, that
sensitivity never struck me while drinking liquor. The taste of the
Deva was sweet
enough that I did not use sugar. I mixed half ice water and half absinthe,
dropping the ice water slowly, slowly, almost drop by drop into my glass
(still ordinary glass). I liked the heaviness of the anise and hysopp. This was for
me.
At one point during drinking it was Christmas! I was very happy with the Deva. Add that to
the shopping cart next time, in fact, always have a Deva in your house.
Whatever I touched felt completely different, and the colors I saw were more
vivid than I had ever noticed them, more interesting. the play of light on
color was inspirational, moving, secretive. Moments to myself almost frozen
in time. And it lingers. A learning not forgotten. What good is it if your numb?
By this time Betina i felt so much at ease with Betina i asked for her suggestions. I wanted to try different brands and she was patient with me. unselfish with her time. But she does sleep in pretty late. Best not to call early, before her dunkin donuts. I was curious of the Spanish, had liked
the ponderous herbs in this drink, so I requested Segarra and Serpis. I reccomend both. Different as night and day. Very reasonable.
Again a
gracious arrival, right on time, packaged just perfectly. She must have had some training in that because i had never seen anything like it. Two bottles this time. Good old fashioned heavy big bottles. I was Thrilled.
The Segarra threw
me, it was somewhat bitter. Out came
the sugar cubes.
I had a selection, the Serpis was sweet with a red louche. A real Spanish
bullfighting louche. Extrordinary. And I would add that to the cart too,
because it is so enourmous it seems to never run out. And it's the perfect refreshment to serve a
friend, before you knock them out and take advantage of them.
I still had no spoon. But because I had a selection, the Serpis, sweet with
a
red
louche, and the Segarra, bitter needing sugar. I decided to just drop in a
sugar cube.
DON'T do that either. Get a spoon right away. But get one you love. And
splurge, it has a purpose. Keep you r eye on it though. When using a fork, a sugar cube falls
apart and doesn't dissolve. You want it to melt. Melt, one grain to another, a chain reaction.
With both the Serpis and the
Segarra two
fairly strong drinks were enough to feel the wondrous effects of absinthe. Into the picture entered one ice cube.
Only one to keep a chill. If I made it strong with more sunset of thujone, I would add another half cube.
I finally received my etched swirl glasses and my spoons with my order of
La
Fee and Oxygenee from Betty. True to her word she had saved me 2 etched swirl beauties. She held them on my word. What a gal. My mistakes were behind me. All the pieces now fit together.
My spoon which held my sugar cube, my pot of ice water and etched swirl
glasses. They put those swirls in there for a reason. I was lucky to get her last two. That is how gracious she is. I dont know how she knew that i would love those, but she did.
Those of you with more of a refined taste will adore the Oxygenee, its a more elegant louche, but very potent. Needless to say dont overdrink it.
My
experience with it brought absolutely clear memories back to me. I'd close my eyes and very clearly saw paths
through woods I had walked when I was a kid. Shortcuts to the beach. Smoking paths. Everything was exactly as
it was decades ago, every blade of grass, every grain of sand. And this happened any time i closed my eyes. Oxygenee is the brand I would reccomend if that interests you.
My most recent order was of the French La Fee. Though I have just recently opened it, i dont think ill be sharing that. Betty told me it was hard to acquire. It is a darker green the greenest louche I have seen yet, just like the glasses from those famous paintings. Get it if you can.
Now I am a convert, I have what I always wanted Absinthe. And I have both
a reliable and wise source, Betina Elixirs. Betina has delivered on time with no breakage yet, and i have never been disappointed. Not once. 5 stars. A very helpful and warm person I hereby become a reference...................................

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