Ballad of the Orange Skinned Woman

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: Ballad of the Orange Skinned Woman
By Bjacques on Sunday, May 20, 2001 - 04:47 am: Edit

Yeah, I think it's his best. His other stuff is scattered on cassettes and compilations. The only dud on "Gunther" is "What's Up?," a cover of "What's Going On" by 4 Non Blondes, only with a screeching voice and squealing feedback. Sure, the song (however sincere) deserved parody as the embodiment of pandering to grungie alterna-yoof rebellion. But did Joe Newman have to do the whole thing? It dated quickly. He's a little too in love with his own wit and that of Frank Zappa.

BUT! Don't let that scare you away from the disc, because it's really good. "The Bacon For Tomorrow's Breakast" is really good, as are "Darling Won't You Buy Me A Taco" (which I guess would make Beck's "Satan Gave Me A Taco" its answer song), "Taste the Blood on Satan's Claw,"Miracles Can Happen" and "Theme From Sweet Movie."

By Head_Prosthesis on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 01:49 pm: Edit

She likes it when I take her to the Southland Mall. I buy her lot's of nice things. The Betty Boop cookie jar. The new Dixie Chicks cd. For lunch we go to the food courtyard. We eat at the Sbarro. That's some good cafeteria style eatin'.

I pay to get her nails done for her at the "Hunan Nail Emporium". While she's getting that done I sit on the bench checking out all the little jail-bait hotties strut their stuff in Pink and Britney splendor. I can just taste the Teen Spirit on those young bare midfits. When my girl is done she's got a surprise for me. She got "Do Me" painted on the nail of her left middle finger and "Now!!!" on the right.

That's fuckin' love right there.

By Marc on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 03:07 am: Edit

I found The Rudy Schwartz Project on the internet.
Is the whole cd as good as those lyrics?

By Marc on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 02:55 am: Edit

What is "Gunther Packs A Stiffy" and where can I get it? Thats some great fuckin' lyrics.

By Bjacques on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 02:01 am: Edit

Haw! Makes me wanna curl up with the final issue of Trailer Trash, eat a box of Ho-Hos and put the Rudy Schwartz Project on the stereo.

"Yiptee Tom Landry, won't you come out tonight/
with your hair up in curlers and your nipple rings tight?/Stretch your urethra 'round a sycamore tree/the Dallas Cowboys, Jesus & me."

From "Gunther Packs A Stiffy"

By Morriganlefey on Friday, May 18, 2001 - 04:20 pm: Edit

Rust primer Camarro. Swweeeeetttt.....

By Head_Prosthesis on Thursday, May 17, 2001 - 07:12 pm: Edit

See that girl in the bar. She's got the rust primer camarro. Her brother wrecked it drunk driving. Her mildly abusive boyfriend doesn't pay her "no nevermind". She's kinda chunky but very sexy in a sloppy sort of way. She knows she's a little bigger than most girls and doesn't have the money to buy the most elegant clothing or the time to work out. The midnight "bar-rush" waitressing job at Dennys doesn't allow for much of that. But "by GOD!" she's letting her hair down and shakin up the place anyway. She's going to have fun no matter what! If you're lucky enough to talk to her you'd see that deep inside this girl is intelligent, fun, and sophisticated in her simple downriver way.
She's orange tinted and trashy with style,
dignity and grace.

Oh to be home again...

By Head_Prosthesis on Thursday, May 17, 2001 - 07:11 pm: Edit

Crazy Town says it best.

Hey sugar momma, come and
Dance with me.
The smartest thing you ever did
Was take a chance with me.
So, whatever tickles your fancy.
Girl itís me and you like Sid and Nancy.
So sexyÖ almost evil
Talkiní about butterflies in my head.
I used to think that happy endings
Were only in the books I read.
But you made me feel alive
When I was almost dead.
You filled that empty space
With the love I used to chase
And as far as I can see,
It donít get better than this.
So, butterfly, here is a song and itís sealed with a kiss.
And a thank you miss.

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