I've got to be drunk to do that.....

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: I've got to be drunk to do that.....
By Msjekyll on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 11:56 pm: Edit

Late last nite, I was walkin' down the street.
I saw my buddy's ole lady, she was lookin real sweet,
She invited me in for an ice cold brew,
I said 'Can I have a doobie and some poontang too?'

She said 'I'l give you a doobie and some poontang too, but you'll never get enough no matter what you do.
If you give it all to them then they;ll take it all from you.
I need a doobie and a brew and some poontang too!

Next day I saw my buddy, he was lookin' so sad.
I said 'Hey there buddy, what could be so bad?'
He said 'My lady left and she also stole my brew.
But the part that broke my heart, she took the poontang too!'

SOooooo then Buddy got pissed and he shot me in the head,
Left me lying in the street but I aint yet dead.
Ya wanna save my life, man all you gotta do, is give me doobie and a brew and some poontang too.

By Msjekyll on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 11:40 pm: Edit

I am looking for the elusive recipe for green eggs and ham but DAMN no on knows it so I'm just fumblin around here.....

By Head_Prosthesis on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 11:37 pm: Edit

Dr. Seuss had a few drinks?

By Msjekyll on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 11:33 pm: Edit

I took my fine lady out to dine,
In the finest of fine atmosheres.
In between wines,
I said my dear would you mind
Putting your hand under here?
"She said, 'Not right here in this restaurant!
'You want me to put my hand down there?!?'
I said 'yes.'
She said 'I won't do iT!'
I said, 'If you don't put your hand down there.... You don't get no food up here!'
She said 'I've GOT to DRUNK to do that!
It's a filthy suggestion, It's out of the question,
I've got to be DRUNK to do that!

Sooooo now, six passionate evenings go by,
And soon while I'm holding her near;
In the midst of romance
She says what is the chance,
About putting a gold band right here?
(I said 'No chance in HELL')
I sez I Gotta be drunk to do that; It's a filthy suggestion, It;s outta the question, I gotta be DRUNK to do that!

NOW.......
I spend all my evenings at home.
I'm putting 6 children to bed>
I said 'Your such a good mother,'
'Why don't we have another?'
I said 'YOU GOT TO BE OUTTA YOUR HEAD!'
(I said 'No, Baby, I want one more right here, for us!)
(I said'I don't want one more right here for us!)
(I said 'If you don't put one right here, you don't get nothing more down HEEEer....)
(She said 'Before I get anything down there!..... You first make me put it up Here?:(...)
(I said 'You first put it up here, before you get it down there, coz you don't got enough right HERE!)
(she said 'If you had enough right Heeere, I could buy me some more and have it put up here!)
(he said 'WHy don't you take it from someplace back there and STICK IT up here!?!)
(I Said 'Why don't you just kiss me back HERE!)
I said "I've gotta be drunk to do that!!!!!"

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