What punishment do you suggest?

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: What punishment do you suggest?
By Tavarua on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 02:59 pm: Edit

That's funny, James Bond taught me the same thing.

By Head_Prosthesis on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 02:05 pm: Edit

Video games taught me it's ok to shoot anything that moves, be able to get shot several times and still keep kicking ass, crash into innocent bystanders and out run the police, destroy million dollar govt. aircraft (for only pennies a day), and walk away feeling no more culpable then when I arrived.

By _Blackjack on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 01:55 pm: Edit


Quote:

Malls are the temples of our soulless and miserable consumerist religion, the treadmill of manufactured discontent.



That's why I always considered "Dawn of the Dead" more of a fantasy than a horror movie. There is nothing I would enjoy more than being able to shoot all the people in the mall with no moral quandries.

Because (as movies and video games have taught me) it's always OK to kill Zombies and Nazis.

By Head_Prosthesis on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 01:53 pm: Edit

Temples and templates.
Sounds like Southland Mall in Taylor,MI
Just another brick in the Mall...

By Anatomist1 on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 01:43 pm: Edit

That's funny. I think of going to a mall as a horrible punishment. Malls are the temples of our soulless and miserable consumerist religion, the treadmill of manufactured discontent. I grew up near a mall, and our community had no places or activities for teens. So, we hung out at THE MALL. We regarded the world as a vapid, uninteresing (yet sparkling clean) place. We became obsessed with scoring drugs and outdoing one another's suicidally despondent emotional states. Pink Floyd's THE WALL was our soundtrack. We became satanists, occultists, sluts, drunken drivers, and insufferable intellectual snobs. We derived a large part of our identity from squandering our potential and ridiculing those who fulfilled theirs. Some of us died, some disappeared, a few became soccer moms, most of us went off to college to continue our depraved, solipsistic lives far away from THE MALL. It was easy enough to take me out of THE MALL, but taking THE MALL out of me has been a life long struggle.

THE MALL of which I speak is Southglenn Mall in Littleton, CO, a few miles away from Columbine High School.

K.

By Heiko on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 01:29 pm: Edit

After reading this thread, I'm not opposed to the death penalty anymore. It's so humane compared to with what we came up, it's almost too humane...
;-)

By Head_Prosthesis on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 12:29 pm: Edit

That'll work until he's home long enough to get on your last nerve, then you'll let him run free.

Curses foiled again!

By Cheri on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 12:19 pm: Edit

What would be worse than anything suggested so far for him..a horrible, almost inhumain punishment, one that could possibly have me dragged to court and put up in the big house... I can deny him THE MALL.

By Verawench on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 09:46 am: Edit

absinthe enema.

washes the naughty right out.

By Grimbergen on Sunday, July 08, 2001 - 02:01 am: Edit

"I have an idea. Invite your absinthe-sipping friends over. Have a party, make a mess, make him clean it up."

This is only suitable if the party involves random defecation, then it is an appropriate punishment.

Grim

By Leela on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 03:08 pm: Edit

I have an idea. Invite your absinthe-sipping friends over. Have a party, make a mess, make him clean it up.

(I say this after having had to scrub carmelized sugar off of spoons used while drinking Hill's by the Czech "sugar on fire" method.)

Leela

By Tavarua on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 03:04 pm: Edit

Cheri,

For heavan's sake, don't do any of these things. I mean cut off appendages, shock treatment, Staroplzenecky, Vera. These are all to good for him, stick with the Hill's treatment.

By Verawench on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 11:06 am: Edit

Send him to me. I know what to do with naughty 15 year olds.

"But officer! That's *not* what I meant!"

By Head_Prosthesis on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 09:54 am: Edit

...or a much bigger problem, he could be a puppet of the Illuminati.

Oh, my baby's gone!!!

By Anatomist1 on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 07:04 am: Edit

I wouldn't give a youngster any ideas about cutting off phalanges. I wouldn't be surprised if it became fashionable soon. If you asked me ten or fifteen years ago, I'd have said the various face and tongue piercings that are popular now were just as disgusting and improbable. The self-mutilation cat's out of the bag, and people are more desensitized than ever.

Punishments for children should be short and intense. The real offense here isn't knocking the bottle over, but skulking away and pretending it never happened. On the other hand, if he's willing to be that dishonest, how do you know he didn't drink it, or pour it into a jar to drink with his friends and bribe his sister to tattle falsely?

K.

By Perruche_Verte on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 12:55 am: Edit

They say when you die and go to Hell, first you're thrown into a barrel full of all the beer you ever spilled... Heiko's punishment reminds me of that.

But come on, Starop is expensive, isn't it? That would be like buying him a present, even if it's a very bad present.

By Head_Prosthesis on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 12:51 am: Edit

Oh Heiko, that's ruthless, that's a good one. It's bad enough when you paid 80 bucks to drink it.

To the house of pain it is...

By Heiko on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 12:46 am: Edit

The standard reference punishment on this forum for that crime would be: the delinquent has to drink the same amount of Staroplzenecky that he spilled of any good absinthe.

By Head_Prosthesis on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 12:29 am: Edit

There's always (OOH,OOH) shock treatment...

By Perruche_Verte on Saturday, July 07, 2001 - 12:17 am: Edit

Head's suggestion is good but a bit extreme. Assuming your son is right-handed, taking off the little finger of the left hand down to the first joint (just past the nail) ought to be sufficient. After the initial pain, he will probably think it looks "cool" and proudly show it off to his friends. Check the applicable state laws first.

By Netsurfer on Friday, July 06, 2001 - 11:20 pm: Edit

and send it to head...

By Head_Prosthesis on Friday, July 06, 2001 - 07:30 pm: Edit

You know you love that boy.
But do this...
Remove the head.

By Cheri on Friday, July 06, 2001 - 07:17 pm: Edit

My bottle of NS 55 is on top of my kitchen cabinets, quite far out of reach. The other night the cap had broken (it's got this weird double plastic thing in it that stuck) and the cap would not go back on tight. I figured it was safe, since it was so far out of reach.. HOWEVER.. my 15 year old son wanted to "look at the bottle" and KNOCKED IT OVER and now I have maybe 1/4 of a bottle left.

He doesn't know yet that I know he knocked it over..(sisters always tattle ya know)so,therefore, I'm asking you the frequenters of the Forum, what punishment would YOU suggest that would fit this HORRENOUS CRIME??????

Administrator's Control Panel -- Board Moderators Only
Administer Page |Delete Conversation |Close Conversation |Move Conversation