"Martin": True Identity Revealed

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archives Thru July 2001: Topics Archived Thru Dec 2000:"Martin": True Identity Revealed
By Melinelly on Wednesday, December 27, 2000 - 11:07 am: Edit

went to my mom's for xmass. my bottle collection is still on the backroom wall heh. here are the bottles i had:

brain wash (blue)
brain wash (red)
(same label, but you could tell the difference by the stain in the bottle from the insane amount of coloring!)
fukola cola
season's greedings (xmass brew mentioned below)
love potion #69
ack! i forgot the names of the other two bottles i have. oh well. the 69 was a pretty good soda too.

By Corsetgirl on Monday, December 25, 2000 - 03:22 pm: Edit

I remember brain wash! I never got the red one it just *had* to be blue! When I was in HS I used to stay up til 5am drinking them with a good friend :) It burned all the way down, but that was part of the appeal.

By Melinelly on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 05:38 pm: Edit

aye, but the blue is the original. they started making b.w. red after some snafu with the gov. over the blue. if my colon falls out, it was probably cancerous or something :::grin::: though i doubt that was it since they brought it back for a while after.

they actually had a line of about a dozen sodas at their peak. one of my favs was a christmas concoction with ingredients similar to b.w. but flavored like a spiced apple cider and it had these weird luminescent flakes suspended in the liquid.

By Martin on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 05:21 pm: Edit

I loved Brain Wash. You can't get that anymore? Too bad. Another favorite from the same company was Fukola Cola. It was kinda like Coke, but way better.

Brain Wash came in red too.


By Melinelly on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 10:01 am: Edit

speaking of Fresca... slightly OT even for this thread...

one of my fave drinks is gin and fresca. you can still get fresca. in fact, it's made quite a comeback as of late. they took it out of production for a while, but an actual movement formed petitioning, calling Coke, writing letters, and even holding benefits back in the 80s to get Fresca back... and amazingly enough, Fresca came back and is more and more widely available. for a little while just a few years ago, Coke was even promoting Fresca by sending out folks to supermarkets and sampling it, also giving away Fresca merchandise (i have a Fresca t-shirt and two big giant inflatable Fresca cans LOL)

also, since it was mentioned, Tab is still in production...

what i miss though is a hell of a soda called "Brain Wash". out-of-this-world flourescent blue flavored with various roots and herbs and also jalapeno peppers for kick. it was amazingly refreshing and spicy... and here's the best part: there was so much coloring in it that your teeth, lips, and tongue stayed mortuary blue for several hours... AND it literally TURNED YER SHIT BLUE! talk about weird if you forgot you drank one of these puppies the day before. heh.

well, cheers!

and happy holidays!


By Marc on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 06:29 am: Edit

of course, "wide-reanging" should be wide-ranging.

By Marc on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 06:05 am: Edit


Don is being reasonable and wise. Accept his proposals. They are fair. If you do not, you risk
losing my support. I am not suggesting that you censor yourself. Stay true to who you are, but find a way to take your dialogue with Don to a new and more constructive level. While there is no "top dog" in the forum, Don is a respected member of our community and one who has the capacity to teach you many things. And yes, I hated his guts at one time too. But, I've come to appreciate the wide-reanging knowledge that resides beneath his cantankerous exterior.

Gabba gabba hey!

By Don_walsh on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 05:33 am: Edit

Bullshit, you are trying to place yourself as the aggrived party, and that is my position.

I'm defending, you are the aggressor. I'm at home here, you are the interloper.

By Martin on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 01:05 am: Edit

We'll see. Every time I think I'm done fighting with you, you come back with some smartass remark that reminds me why I started the fight in the first place.

Having our stuff on a it's own thread seems like a good idea, but what about when we're fighting over subjects related to other threads? I don't disagree with you as a "knee jerk" reaction. I disagree with you because I really think what you're saying most of the time is fishy and worthy of being questioned.

We'll see, buddy. We'll see....


By Don_walsh on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 12:19 am: Edit

Martin, I am prepared to stop attacking you as soon as you stop attacking me literally 'across the board'.


1. If it makes you feel good to perpetuate a slanging match with me for its own sake, start a Chittum vs Walsh thread, and confine all personal ad hominum assaults to that one thread. I will be happy to contest you there tillone of us gets tired or we become bosum buddies the way Marc and I have done.

2. That means not posting further kneejerk opposition to each and every post I make elsewhere in the forum.

3. In that case I will do same.

4. This does not mean that we cannot disagree with other elsewhere in the forum, but it means there is no need to automatically do so as part of a general contest. The contest should be limited to the one C vs W thread.

This proposal allows the entire forum to proceed with its business without being further hijacked by our argument.

I think it is fair and that it will be met by general approval by the poor beleagered forumites.

By Martin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 11:39 pm: Edit

It was all of Don's previous attacks on various people that got me so angry in the first place. I was looking thru the Forum, having not visited in awhile, and lo and behold! I find Mr. Walsh shitting on every decent person in sight. The first thing that pops into my head is, "Who the fuck does this guy think he is? What a fuckin' asshole! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!" So I did... that was my first post. Instead of ignoring it like a mature adult he snapped right back with some pretty vehement replys and thus started our little war.

The fact that it's gotten as ridiculous as it has is partly my fault for being an angry, obnoxious, opinionated, and very stubborn young man, but it also Don's fault for being incredibly immature and instead of ignoring me, attacking me like I just raped his mother.

As the posts continued on, I became more and more disturbed by Walsh's ramblings. I'm am now convinced that he has some very serious and deep emotional issues. This isn't meant as an attack at him, it's mearly an observation related to how he's behaved towards me and towards the people before me.

Its almost as if any threat to his "Top Dog" status makes him freak out and go on incoherent malicious attacks. Is his life so dull that he needs to be gratified by his deification in this forum?


By Lordhobgoblin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 08:36 pm: Edit

Personally I don't mind Martin at all. He hasn't upset me so I've no problem with him. Plenty of people on this forum speak their mind's with bluntness, why shouldn't he.

There's only so much you can say about a bottle of green booze and a bit of abrasion on the forum is no harm. Lots of things are said on this forum that upset people, some of the comments used to attack Martin have got me riled. Martin's just an angry youg man who speaks his mind and anyway I've always got time for Anarcho-syndicalists, even if they usually don't have much time for us Marxists ;-)

So Martin, hang around and you'll find that most on the forum, (including Don and Bob) are basically a decent bunch.


By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:48 pm: Edit

What the chittum means is: once he gets rid of me. He came in here gunning for me from the git-go, like the newby gunslinger looking to make himself a rep by taking on the local top hand. (And incidentally going after Bob Chong in the bargain, as an appetizer.)

Well, I'm so easily buffaloed, and certainly not by a snot-nosed 22 year old with not a claim to fame except for being a (in)famous twit.

Absintheur didn't get run out of this forum, he took himself out, he self destructed. Absintheur was a fine mind and knows a lot of history but he tends to pontifical attitudes and he can't abide having his notions challenged or his intellectual hegemony in this forum intruded upon.

Winston is a horse's ass of a different color. He barely lasted a fortnight before he self destructed likewise and absented himself (how's that for a Crillon verb?) 'to absente' simple past tense, passive case = 'absented' -- anyway and he wasn't fighting with me, he was fighting with Ted.

Now go back and re-read Martin's first 40-50 posts. He simply picked a fight from the word go, jumped from thread to thread and mindlessly attacked me whever and wherever I posted. Now he says he wants to be a constructive citizen of our community. Bullshit! He's a wrecker. He's a troll. He's just here to stir up the shit, and we all know it. If he's interested in absinthe he should lurk and learn, for he has nothing to offer us, as someone said, save Fresca, and we already have Sprite and Seven-Up, anyway.

By Anatomist1 on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 01:48 pm: Edit

Martin: One way to start would be to familiarize yourself with the concept of editing. In this context, editing would involve considering whether or not you actually have something of interest to others to say, and refining that something before posting everything that pops into your head all over every thread and blotting out all other conversations on the forum. You aren't THAT interesting. We've all heard of the solipsism of youth before, but this is getting absurd.


By Martin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 12:40 pm: Edit

Thanks. I would like to become a valued member of the forum. It would be nice to get all this shit with Walsh behind me. Something tells me he won't let off soon, so it will have to continue for at least a little while longer.

Right on, I am a Midwestern Noise Rocker. I'm glad someone out there isn't so clouded that everything has to be a conspiracy. I'm just a young guy having a war of wits with an old fart, and doing a good job of making him sweat.

I'm not leaving here anytime soon. So the rest of you should learn to put up with me as well. Anyone who's taking the time to have a nice conversation with me has found that I'm not this crazed multiple-personality freak Walsh would have you all believe.

I'd like to talk about absinthe, but yeah, you can only do that so long. I'm going to be trying some new cocktail ideas I've been coming up with for New Year's, and if they turn out well I'll share them with you all here. No, none of them include Fresca!


By Melinelly on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 11:51 am: Edit

well, Grim's conclusion can't be far off considering two hobbies listed in Martin's profile are "arguing with people" and "drinking absinthe at denny's"... very midwestern noise rocker... which he happens to be heh.

however, you can add me and bump up your number of folks who can tolerate Martin to two =)

my question is whether or not Martin has paid for the five minute argument or the whole half hour?

in either case, i look forward to a few more chuckles. really lightens my spirits after putting in 10 to 12 hour days working retail during holiday season... =P

By Marc on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 07:45 am: Edit

Martin reminds me of myself when I was his age.

there's only so much that can be said about absinthe. Without some of these off-topic rants, the forum would be dull indeed. It seems Martin's problem is mostly with Don...and vice versa.
Don enjoys a good fight. When Don's pissed, his writing gets sharper and so does his wit. It's good fun. As someone who's been on the receiving end of Don's wrath, I'm just pleased that we've become friends. If Martin sticks around long enough, I predict that he will become a valued member of the forum. Of course, I could be completely wrong.

kallisti's in Vegas. We're getting together for drinks. Oh, the gossip. Are everybody's ears turning red yet?

By Grimbergen on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 07:08 am: Edit


I know this forum has a nasty habit of ousting people. I for one would have rather not have seen absintheur or winston driven out. I don't have a problem with people holding controversial views, or refusing to back down from them. However, martin is a different case. He has sprayed his shit all over this forum without contributing anything of value. He has given us fresca and absinthe, and the revelation that you can taste absinthe better neat if you sip it rather than take shots of it.

I cannot figure out why he is here. There are plenty of other places he can go to pick a fight. We certainly don't need him here, we have enough fights as it is, and they are usually a lot more relevant to absinthe. Why does he stay when it appears he has no real interest in absinthe, and no one here can tolerate him (apart from you). I can only conclude that he enjoys pissing other people off.


By Marc on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 06:26 am: Edit

Martin is who he claims to be. And I like him.

By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:55 am: Edit

'Allo Grimster, long time no see.

By Grimbergen on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:20 am: Edit

yup he's a limey. My condolences to the rest of you in the uk. may god protect you.


By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:18 am: Edit

For once we agree. Unions are a joke.

By Martin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:12 am: Edit

My Python quip was there to be funny. It had nothing to do with the Spanish Civil War. I used it as part of my whole anti-capitalism thing.

I honestly think Anarcho-Syndicalism is a good idea. I only wish it were more popular in America. The unions are such a joke here. They do nothing for the people they supposedly protect. Syndicalist unions are unions that actually work.


By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 05:01 am: Edit

No, we're not an Anarcho-Syndicalist commune. I've seen the film enough times to memorize it.

I saw no reason to transpose that on the Spanish Civil War.

Perhaps, like the witch who was lighter than a duck, you are wiser in the ways of science than King Arthur.

But, he knew nothing of antimatter either.

By Martin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 04:56 am: Edit

I recognized the Monty Python insult. I've seen that movie a million times. My favorite part is where King Arthur gets into an argument with the Anarcho-Syndicalists. I quoted part of that awhile ago, but you didn't catch it.

I don't believe Kallisti is and Englishwoman, I learned those archaic epithets from her.

Your idiocy continues to amaze me. Now I'm English! You can't handle the fact that I'm completely honest with who I am, can you?


By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 04:49 am: Edit

Martin you give yourself away. You are not an american at all. Your (you're) bad grammer is entirely lower class English, and so are your archaic epithets. On the other hand you fail to recognize a simple Monty Python insult. What a paradox. Drap and Buntner indeed.

By Martin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 04:43 am: Edit

You cut to the quick because you don't have the intellect to think of anything intelligent or clever. You have to resort to childish vulgarity.

Here's some vulgarity you probably won't get: You're mother was a Drap. A real Bunter, yes she was.

Waloon's are snobby jerks. You shouldn't compare Bardouin to such trash. And to suggest his wife cooks like an Englishwoman is probably the most vile thing I've ever heard cross your lips. You've sunk to a new low.


By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 04:34 am: Edit

First of all, it hurts, really hurts to have my bon ami Bardouin say that I sound like Martin. I am cut to the quick. My dog can argue better than Martin and right now he is busy with his nose up the rear of a bitch in heat.

As to Bardouin, if that is his considered view of me, I must conclude he has the taste of a German, the nose of a Walloon, the brain of an Algerian, and his wife cooks like an Englishwoman. And I fart in his general direction.

By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 04:11 am: Edit

First of all Ted is a very straightforward person and not a gamesman. Secondly, Ted is in New Orleans, while I am demonstrably in Bangkok. If you don't believe me pls feel free to call IDD country code 66 city code 2 number 690 0266. Pls bear in mind there is an enormous time difference, we are 12 hours off eastern standard time. Try not to wake me up in the middle of the night. Naturally, no collect calls can be accepted. But you will be reaching Jade Liqueurs Co.,Ltd.

Your phone bill will be ample evidence that you called Thailand and not Louisiana.

By Don_walsh on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 03:46 am: Edit

I halfway wish you could be on to something. Alas. Martin is his own creation or someone else's buit most certainly neither mine nor Ted's.

Less than believable, there, I grant you have a point, but you must take that up with martin or whomsoever pulls his strings.

A tres bientot

By Bardouin on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 02:49 am: Edit

Is this true? He sounds like don_walsh, and they post so fast in a row, are they both in asia? I am confused.

By Pataphysician on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 02:47 am: Edit

Don... Martin... Don Martin. DON MARTIN! Of course, he got it from Mad Magazine.

By Oxygenee on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 02:19 am: Edit

On my own behalf and I'm certain on behalf of untold numbers of other Forumites, I'd like to thank Don for creating the character of "Martin". Don's sheer anarchic creative genius takes ones breath away - deprived of worthwhile human opposition since Absintheur, missing several limbs and bleeding profusely from a nasty head wound, limped from the field - realising that conversation on the Forum was in grave danger of reverting to...well...absinthe, Don selflessly took upon himself the task of entertaining us all by creating this monstrous, if slightly implausible "Martin" figure (if I may venture a small criticism Don, no real person could even theoretically be as moronically dislikable as "Martin" - to sustain the illusion longer, I would have have toned the sheer revolting imbecility of "Martin" down very slightly. I am sure a great artist such as yourself will appreciate this constructive criticism.). Don, the quality of the interaction has been simply breathtaking - performance art at the very highest level:I'm thinking Gilbert and George sponsored by the WWF. Your immortal "You couldn't get laid in a Shanghai brothel with a $1000 bill wrapped around your knobbie" is something I will treasure forever.
Bravo, bravissimo!
With deepest gratitude

Suddenly, an extraordinary thought strikes me: could "Don" and "Martin" BOTH be creations of the apparently calm and rational Ted Breaux....no. surely not...and yet I wonder...

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