Forum Gods

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Thru December 2001: Forum Gods
By Lordhobgoblin on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 11:45 pm: Edit

IT"S FUCKING GOOD TO BE A MAN!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You couldn't give a shit if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "yucky".

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress £2000, Tuxedo rental £70.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £4 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

SHIT IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN!

By Head_Prosthesis on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 11:01 pm: Edit

Although I appreciate the "encouragement". Please leave me out of this conflict.

Or I'll get the Cartwrights after your ass.

There's that VARMINT!

By Bob_Chong on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 10:45 pm: Edit

Until you have sex with Head, I refuse to respond.

By Verawench on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 05:51 am: Edit

Agreed, but it's hard to walk away from a fight, Marc. Anyway, I'm just trying to find out why he's at my throat.

By Marccampbell on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 02:33 am: Edit

comeon vera, comeon bob. The world is in a shitty fucking mess and you think your little neurotic outbursts are of any significance. You are both humiliating yourselves. You're better than this. Stop playing in the garbage.

By Verawench on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 12:50 pm: Edit

So I don't meet your standards of... not sure.. forum female or something.

But see, that only concerns me if I have respect for my critic. You, Bob, are just a tremendous pest.

By Bob_Chong on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 12:06 pm: Edit

Huh?

Can't take a dose of your own medicine, can ya, Cuntiepoo?

"Woe is me, oh woe is me! I am so depressed by all the beautiful ruin!" Reminds me of the poetry turned in by the sophomores I used to teach. The diff? You've replaced unicorns and rainbows with psuedo-gothic images, is all.

BC

By Verawench on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 11:17 am: Edit

Let's talk copyrights, Bawb. You are this forum's pioneer of pointless, irritating, one-line commentary.

Let's hear you talk absinthe once in a while instead of trying to make yourself look clever.

Let's see you show your true face to this forum. I want to know you, not your sarcasm.

By Bob_Chong on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 07:51 am: Edit

"crapped all over [the] thread"

I wonder where I got that idea?

Maybe I should have put really long, blank posts on "your" thread instead? But maybe that would have been too much of an homage, though.

Insert reverence for David Lynch here,

BC

By Don_Walsh on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 05:47 am: Edit

Oh.

Sad, I always liked both you and Bob. Can I play hookey when it's time to take sides?

Believe me, I've been in my share (plus some) of screaming matches and pissing contests on the Forum and the very best times are when the combatants get tired of slanging and start posting civilly to each other. Sometimes it even lasts!

By Petermarc on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 03:09 am: Edit

it's important to have a strong, steady stream...
i think i have been having head-prostate problems...

By Head_Prosthesis on Thursday, November 15, 2001 - 02:21 am: Edit

whatever this.

By Verawench on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 09:50 pm: Edit

Whatever

By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 09:48 pm: Edit

I wasn't really streaming, just cheerleading. I like to support the troops.


I like to help.


Chong was just chongin' around.

CHONGER!!!

By Verawench on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 09:44 pm: Edit

The Archives, Don.

I started posting stream of consciousness. Then Rabid and LL and Head joined in. Then Chong crapped all over my thread.

Then the Archives went into hiding.

So, not that we're ever too far from being crapped on by Idiot Bawb, but good riddance.

By Don_Walsh on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 09:37 pm: Edit

Huh?

By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 07:21 pm: Edit

of what?

The dark tales of Forumite Wonder Years? I was enjoying them... Something to weep myself to sleep to.

By Verawench on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 07:18 pm: Edit

good fucking riddance.

By Head_Prosthesis on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 07:12 pm: Edit

...another tremor in the Farce?

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