Dose-marked cheesiness

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Archive thru January 2002:Dose-marked cheesiness
By Artemis on Saturday, December 22, 2001 - 05:21 am: Edit

Marc:

Write to me if you want to talk. All you said, I've been there, done that. Kallisti has a couple of my email addresses and my permission to give any of them to you. I was going to remark that Vegas seems to have wrought a change in you that's not for the better, but I held my tongue. I can't take complete credit for pulling myself out of the doldrums, but I helped. I'll help you if I can.

As to Heavenly Creatures, it wasn't the acting and all that, which was fine, and one of the girls was attractive, it's just the concept, which I realize was a true story (that made it even worse) creeped me out, especially coupled with something else (VERY CREEPY, also true) which was dropped on me the same day that movie was brought up.

By Marccampbell on Saturday, December 22, 2001 - 12:12 am: Edit

artemis,

I missed the post in which you mention having seen
HEAVENLY CREATURES. I'm really surprised by your negative response to the film. I was not as impressed by it as some critics, but it certainly was a well-crafted, well-written and acted film. And it did star the lovely Kate Winslet.

By Marccampbell on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 11:46 pm: Edit

artemis,

I was unaware of the commercial tie-ins with The Lord Of The Rings. I don't watch television.
The director of Rings, Peter Jackson, has made some wonderfully inventive films, HEAVENLY CREATURES, DEAD ALIVE and MEET THE FEEBLES.
These are films that you would probably dig.

I'm happy that you're happy. That makes one of us.
I've been struggling with depression. I've never felt as insecure, panic-stricken and sad as I do these days. I know I'll emerge from this dark night of the soul, having been here before, but when you're in it its all consuming, seemingly endless and absolute. I think one of the reasons I enjoyed LOTR as much as I did is because it took me out of myself for a few hours. I entered an other world...of heroes and digital monsters. Doesn't fantasy help us integrate our own demons and wraiths. Peace to you my brother.

By Verawench on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 04:00 pm: Edit

Prosze bardzo.

By Chevalier on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 03:38 pm: Edit

Dzieki, Vera!

By Verawench on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 03:28 pm: Edit

http://www.spiderwebart.com/default.asp

By Chevalier on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 03:06 pm: Edit

The brothers Hildebrandt. Great illustrators of Middle Earth. Whatever happened to them?

By Admin on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 12:32 pm: Edit

It is *practically* the same in the US. It is definately part of the geek creed.

The books had a huge appeal, that might have *just* started to wane with this latest generation ... well, not no more. They'll be back in style enforce after these films hit.

But I must say, I was very relieved not to see any "wizards" in line at the movie. Which was *not* the case for the animated version that came out in 79.

By Heiko on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 10:30 am: Edit

The fact that I have never read The Lord of the Rings up to now is the reason that I was banned from the international computer nerds and computer scientist's society ;-)

Is it the same in the US? In Germany, everyone studying computer science (and I mean EVERYONE, with no exception) is a BIG fan of Lord of the Rings. Don't ask me why. And every second one of them has a big sticker of a German Metal Band called "Blind Guardian" on his car (preferably a Volkswagen Golf, black)

By Chrysippvs on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 08:51 am: Edit

"I am saddened that forumites who I consider to be open minded are being so square in their approach to this film. Artemis and Justin."

The danger of being "hip", that you get so left you end up where you started running...

By Artemis on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 03:07 am: Edit

"I am saddened that forumites who I consider to be open minded are being so square in their approach to this film. Artemis and Justin. Get over your bias. Lighten up and go see the movie. It will make your lives a little better."

What are you talking about? I talked about the book, about Burger King, about tie-ins of movies to disgusting fast "food" restaurants and cheapass children's toys. I said I wouldn't take anybody's word on a director of whom I had never heard. I said it was hard to believe anybody could do justice to that particular story in a movie. None of this has anything to do with bias, with being heavy, or with my life going badly (it's going better than it has for a very long time, thanks for asking).

I set foot into a movie theater about once a year, at most. I will do so for this movie, because and only because the verdict is overwhelmingly positive in this forum. So don't be sad, get glad.

By Marccampbell on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 02:23 am: Edit

kallisti,

critic Stephanie Zacharek of salon.com is a friend of mine. She's from Brooklyn. I love her review of Lord Of The Rings. And I generally find her among the best movie critics out there.

Lord is a milestone in cinema. It is as epic as Lawrence Of Arabia, as magical as Jason And The Argonauts and as visionary as anything created by Spielberg, Lucas or Kubrick.

I am saddened that forumites who I consider to be open minded are being so square in their approach to this film. Artemis and Justin. Get over your bias. Lighten up and go see the movie. It will
make your lives a little better.

By Admin on Friday, December 21, 2001 - 12:30 am: Edit

I own all the Pippi movies, and keep them as a secret bible.

Olé!

By Thegreenimp on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 10:12 pm: Edit

BJacques,
The Hobbit Hole relocated somewhere near The Mucky Duck,.....I need to make a recon-run over there and check it out.....I have some friends playing over by there in the next couple of days.
I tried to e-mail you, but it bounced, drop me a line......btw, They tore The Ale House Down recently.
Jay

By Bjacques on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 08:20 pm: Edit

Well, maybe I'll get a chance to see it for the traditional Xmas escape from dinner, though only one theater in town (amsterdam) seems to be showing it (it's the only one with a big enough screen I think).

A friend of mine's middle name is Galadriel and her brother's is Elrond. That's not unusual in a country in which Pippi Longstocking is a fashion trope and the country's biggest theme park, Efteling, is a gooey wonderland of elves, dwarves and garden gnomes. If anyone has a copy of the Golden Turkey Awards, they might remember how the Medved brothers, especially that hateful troll Michael, ripped into the Pippi movie. The same movie was a huge success here and is always playing somewhere in town. Hey, she's the original Tank Girl.

I missed the Hobbit Hole (in Houston) last time I was home, a year ago. I thought it was gone, though there's a good, dogs-in-heaven-themed sandwich shop just up the road. Hey Greenimp, if HH reopened elsewhere, please tell me where!

If ya want old NL stuff that ages well, dig up Michael O'Donohue's 1968 cliffhanger comic "The Adventures of Phoebe Zeit-Geist." It ran in the Evergreen Review and was later released as a book. Now THAT would make a great fantasy movie.

"Commie Plot Comics" (1972?), by Doug Kenney (upon whose name be peace) is also a classic.

After America fell into Russian hands like an overripe fruit...
(Welcome to Pleasantvi^H^H^H^HNew Stalinville)

"Howard Johnson's is now People's Ice Cream, and we have only one flavor, RED RASPBERRY, and we are out of that too, little comrade, ha! ha!"

"Pa, they shot Freckles!"

By Cheri on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 05:42 pm: Edit

You obviously haven't seen the video of my wedding..

By _Blackjack on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 11:34 am: Edit

It was a very good movie. I can't say exactly how good until I've seen it another few times, but I'm already confident that it is the best FANTASY movie I've ever seen.

By Don_Walsh on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 02:26 am: Edit

I'd rather be Sauron if I had my druthers. All that tundra trudging as Frodo would wear out a shopfull of Birkenstocks along with my dicky knees. Sauron gets to abide in Mordor and hardly even has to pace. Mordor is, after all, not so different from Chateau Jade. At least in my mind's eye.

Of course I thought of the Roadrunner but am having trouble finding a LOTR character that just says Beep Beep.

And anyway I don't think it has much to do with absinthe.

By Luger on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 01:38 am: Edit

"Suggestions for additions and amendments are solicited"

Coyote & Roadrunner then?

Coyote is Chief Nazgul, and Roadrunner is of course our happy little hero that saves us from the evil?

Question is: Is this an allegory for Dr Magnan ( Sauron ) trying to ruin our lives from beyond his grave, and Don ( Frodo ) doing all he can to get rid of the ban?????

By Don_Walsh on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 09:10 pm: Edit

Once you recite the lore of the One Ring in an Elmer Fudd voice, you will never be the same.

One wing to wule then all,
One wing to bind them,
One wing to bwing them all,
And in the darkness find them,
Hehehehe

Quiet! I'm hunting hobbits!

By Don_Walsh on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 09:07 pm: Edit

I am casting, in my mind, the Warner Bros. cartoon version of BORED OF THE RINGS, with classic Mel Blanc voices of course.

Dildo Bugger: Bugs Bunny of course
Sam: Porky Pig
Gollum: Wile E. Coyote
Balrog: who else but the Tasmanian Devil?
Gandalf/Goodgulf: Foghorn Leghorn
Chief of the Nazgul: Yosemite Sam
Sauron: Elmer Fudd in his darkest role.
Saruman/Serutan: Daffy Duck

Suggestions for additions and amendments are solicited

By Admin on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:25 pm: Edit

I learned that evil folk wear shoes, and good folk do not.

Beyond that, I'm still in a state of shock I think. I can tell you, however, I wept like a baby. The characters were riveting, accents were great. Hobbit shrinkage only failed me once or twice, brilliant! Not even the books imparted the kind of fear & danger that Jackson successfully draws out. Suspense ... damn, he got it right. A few bits were a little too slick, and the musical score a bit too swelling on some of those swooping "camera" pans. A couple small complaints, but those quickly fall by the wayside once the story swoops you up.

Its strange though, with a story so dear, nothing can really touch your own experience with it. It doesn't overtake my personal version of the story that I've had for so long.

But I must say, this is without a doubt the best film of its genre that has been made. Fantasy has never had such a homage.

The guy next to me in the theatre said it was "ok" but he'd never read the books. I'm interested to see what the nay sayers have to say. The critics are falling over themselves ...

Speaking of which, my favorite critic:

http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2001/12/18/lord_of_the_rings/index.html

By Chrysippvs on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 02:26 pm: Edit

I think I missed the whole Lord of the Rings thing when I was younger. I didn't know it was such a bit deal until someone mentioned that the guy who wrote the books made up his own languages and I looked it up on google.

I must say it is atleast an equally cheesy following as the Star Trek and Star Wars (both of which I have a disdain for). The Languages, however, are neat. They are just like bastardized Welsh (Sindarin) and Fennish (Quenyan) with a bit of Latin and Greek for flavor, Tengwar has a great alphabet as well.

I think I will keep to reading my Norse sagas, atleast they are more or less really happened.

- J

By Emmy on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 12:59 pm: Edit

went and saw a midnight showing last night. first time out of the house for non-medical reasons since thanksgiving thanks to my icky illness. but i wasn't going to miss this.

my verdict...

damn good movie. jackson did stay true to the books, and i have no qualms about anything in his adaptation. there were a couple things i was iffy with, but that may change after a few more viewings. i'll leave my final verdict until then. but my first impression was one of contentment at the job done, joy at seeing what's been in my head all my life (first read the books at age 7), and an aching at the movie's close that i have to wait a year to see the Two Towers...

at just over 3 hours long, it is a bit much for the uninitiated (in our group, two hadn't read the books... one of them fell asleep [then again, it was after 2am by then] and the other thought it was good but it was a bit much to take in), however there weren't any parts that dragged on (at least not for me), and when the film came to a close around 3:15am i was ready for another 3 hours. i didn't want it to end. that sounds like a good movie to me.

as for details, i'll wait until others have posted so as not to leak any spoilers... but i will say they did an amazing job on bringing middle earth to life... the fireworks at bilbo's eleventy-first bday party were amazing, i was in awe at the battle of the opening sequence telling the story of the ring and the fall of sauron, and the fucking balrog! man... and of course, every single landscape and structure looked perfect.

you know how you see a movie adaptation of a book and there are things that just don't fit... like you think to yourself "i always pictured the door on the east side" or "the lawn's a bit sparse" just little things like that... well, i didn't have a single one of those moments. everything fit with what's been running in my head all these years.

By Thegreenimp on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 11:30 am: Edit

The Best best National Lampoon issue for me was,
"The Utterly Monsterous, Mind Roasting Summer of O.C. & Stiggs"..........just like my own teenaged years.
Jay

By Artemis on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 11:05 am: Edit

He ran out of exotic names, I guess.

Although I did enjoy it and I have the utmost respect for Tolkien, there are aspects of Lord of the Rings that made it almost unreadable for me, for example, page after page of long, wordy, TEDIOUS descriptions of topography. It wasn't just the characters "trudging across the tundra, mile after mile" to borrow Zappa's wonderful phrase; the reader gets as tired as they do, cutting his way through the jungle of words.

And all those STUPID songs and "poems"!

By Bob_Chong on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 08:57 am: Edit

One small question about JRRT. If he creates entire worlds with folks named Gandalf, Frodo, Bilbo, Sauron, etc., why are some of them also named Sam and Tom? Reminds me of the Carlin skit where he's Jesus, naming off the apostles, "...Peter, John, Matthew, Andrew, Thomas, James, Simon, Thaddeus, and Red."

BC

By Perruche_Verte on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 08:41 am: Edit

"Heavenly Creatures" is one of a couple of movies that made me physically ill. Not that it's bad; I really wouldn't know, having walked out after the very annoying whirling-camera sequence at the beginning. I was sitting too close to the screen.

I may give it another try in the safety of my own home, on the small screen, where I'll find it more manageable.

The other, more infamous movie which did this was "The Blair Witch Project". I didn't go to any movies for a long time after that.

By Artemis on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 08:03 am: Edit

"Trust me"

No, I think I'll see the movie and judge for myself. I've never even heard of Peter Jackson. A quick search tells me I've seen one of his movies, "Heavenly Creatures", an ugly exploration if I've ever seen one, no matter how well crafted (and even that aspect of it wasn't that great).

If you had said "Akira Kurosawa", I would have trusted you.

By _Blackjack on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 07:52 am: Edit

Keep in mind, it isn't "being made" as a trilogy. They have already filmed all three movies, all at once, over a year-and-a-half. Peter Jackson is a real Tolkein afficionado, a genius, and quite probably a hobbit (he went barefoot for most of the shoot...) He turned down numerous big-budget Hollywood opportunities to spend years making this in his native New Zealand, pretty much dooming his burgeoning career if it flops. He would not have done this if he wasn't going to do it right.

I mean, Ian McKellan was so moved by he experience of making the movie that he got a tattoo in Quenya...

I'll know for sure in 8 hours, tho.

By Don_Walsh on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 07:42 am: Edit

We'll see.

Marc seems to agree with you.

By _Blackjack on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 07:40 am: Edit


Quote:

Who could do it justice?



Peter Jackson. Trust me.

By Petermarc on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:07 am: Edit

i've had a dossier of old NL pages for years...one of my favorites was done in the early '70's, when the catholic church decided christopher was no longer a saint (actually happened)...NL created a new medal with christopher walking across the river while the baby jesus falls into the water...the new inscription: 'that's MISTER christopher to you, buddy!'

By Don_Walsh on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 02:53 am: Edit

I loved the 'Unwanted Foreigners' issue.

Art, I think the film will be a trilogy, each one approx 3 hours, 9 hours total. Even 9 hours is not much for LOTR, but, compare that to 18+ hours for Star Wars, when it is all done, and bearing in mind that the real author (Leigh Brackett) died after only fleshing out the storyline and scripting the very first film...and while I loved my friend Leigh, she wouldn't have ever claimed to be a JRR T. She was an excellent writer of space opera. As was her husband Edmond Hamilton.

I despair for the balance of Star Wars, if Phantom Menace is any indication. UGH.

And I apologize profusely for even mentioning the two series in the same thread.

By Artemis on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 02:23 am: Edit

"its running for 9 hours ... isn't that close enough?"

Are you serious? I had no idea. The only reason I even knew the movie had been made is the Burger King ads. I had just assumed it was the standard two hours or so.

The National Lampoon at its best was far and away the funniest thing I've ever read. I still have the high school yearbook parody; it contains the seeds of many of the gags that wound up in the "Animal House" movie.

By Don_Walsh on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 08:04 pm: Edit

I must admit that I also thought 'Bored of the Rings' was a riot. "And Goodgulf stood revealed as a 23rd degree Mason and honorary Shriner." "The Riders of Roi-Tan" "Tim Benzedrino"
and their knockoff of the Palantir, filled with black ink and a many sided object inside that floated to the top and read 'answer hazy. ask again later'.

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 07:09 pm: Edit

Right on, Vera. That's it!

By Verawench on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 06:46 pm: Edit

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0451452615/qid=1008729896/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_67_1/103-1328466-8164631

By Etienne on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 06:41 pm: Edit

Dildo Bugger? I remember. It was great slapstick. I wish I could find a copy.

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 06:34 pm: Edit

When I was in college, I got a little paperback that was a riot. It was called, "Bored of the Rings" and it was by National Lampoon. There you had Dildo, and Arrowshirt son of Arrowroot and Spam and from what I could remember, it was a gem! I think it's still around today, if you want the Cliff's Notes version of the trilogy!

By Etienne on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 05:42 pm: Edit

I'm sure that it will be impossible to live up to the books, but they have to try, don't they? It's simply too good to pass up. All we can do is hope that they do the best they can.

By Mr_Rabid on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 05:06 pm: Edit

I took the day off, and we got the tickets.

I just have to know.

Anyways, even if they crapped on LOTR, there is still always the Silmarillion, which is cooler anyhow and cannot be made into a movie. Well, maybe the part with Turin and Glaurung the Golden.

But not that choir of Maiar...

By Don_Walsh on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:51 pm: Edit

I was a dues paying member of the original Harvard-based Tolkein Society after discovering the books when I was maybe 14. And have re-read them many times in the intervening 36 years.

While I agree with Artemis that it is hard to imagine a film doing justice to Tolkein's prose and epic vision, I am keeping an open mind about the latest attempt (not the first by any means!) to do so.

By Etienne on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:35 pm: Edit

Morrigan;

You went to MSU? Cool. We have Bilbos in Kzoo as well... they have changed much in the years that I remember them, university yuppie people now.

By Morriganlefey on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:29 pm: Edit

>I visualize the bean-sprout serving parental couple from the movie "Valley Girl" in their little veggie bar.

(God that movie still holds a sweet place in my 80's heart!!) Artemis, you're not far off with that perception. That idyllic image held true until, as my college years wore on, the nice earthy vibe turned saccarin as the hubby-unit manager developed a coke habit and the joint earned the nickname "BillBLOWS" (yes, his name was William)...

- M

By Thegreenimp on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:18 pm: Edit

We have a longtime "Hobbit Hole" Cafe here in Houston, with all the names, and all the sprouts, where expected......it's been around a very longtime.
Jay

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:07 pm: Edit

Don't know what the U.S. "Ring" movie posters look like, but in the Chilean posters the hobbit's eyes speak of a VERY bad acid trip.

By Admin on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:06 pm: Edit

its running for 9 hours ... isn't that close enough?

so far, even the hard core fans are tripping over themselves.

By Artemis on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:59 pm: Edit

"one-too-many-hobbit-dream-acid-trip hippy owners"

I visualize the bean-sprout serving parental couple from the movie "Valley Girl" in their little veggie bar.

I was very disappointed to hear a "Lord of the Rings" movie had been made. Who could do it justice? How could it run less than 12 hours? But then I saw those fucking commercials. May a Gollum crawl up their ass and die.

By _Blackjack on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:52 pm: Edit

I'm seeing it tomorrow at the Uptown. It issss....my birthday pressentesses....

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:50 pm: Edit

"Ho! Tom Bombadillo!" pizza??? I would have given a bottle of Jade to see you explain it. (Well, maybe just a mignonette.)

Instead, try sipping the green stuff from this:

my picture

By Morriganlefey on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:53 pm: Edit

Back in college, I waitressed at "Bilbo's", the off-campus pizza/sandwich joint at MSU. The one-too-many-hobbit-dream-acid-trip hippy owners took the Tolkien theme to the hilt, including the pizza & sandwich names (roastbeef was a "Fatty Lumpkin" and the veggie, "Treebeard's Delight"), with their descriptions in Middle Earthian tongue (YOU try describing a "Ho! Tom Bombadillo!" pizza to mystified tourists immediately after a hefty backroom bong hit and tell me YOU wouldn't laugh beer out your nose!) As a fair Tolkien fanatic, I was both amused and disgusted by this concept.

Those Burger King glasses hold NO amusement for me (and I can normally find amusement in most anything). When tacky marketing gimics hit the airwaves before the seemingly-promising film is even out, it just turns my stomach.

We've got tickets in hand for tommorow nights' show, but we will NOT be sipping our contraband absinthe out of Frodo's backlit head.

- M

By _Blackjack on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:37 pm: Edit

Batteries are included.

And I thought it was pretty well established that I was a nitwit.

By Artist on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:57 pm: Edit

me, me, me...I gotta get one.

Oh shit, I gonna have to have to wait til the weekend.

damn, damn, damn!!!

By Thegreenimp on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:49 pm: Edit

Who is going to be the first to light up a glass of Serpis........
Jay

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:25 pm: Edit

Didn't Barney the Dinosaur appear on a cup? Of course, he's not "openly" gay, nor a man ... but some credit is due, no?

By Bob_Chong on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:20 pm: Edit

But Ian McKellan is the FIRST openly gay man to be featured on a BK cup!!!

Actually, that honor belongs to C3PO.

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:03 pm: Edit

I gotta have one...

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 12:30 pm: Edit

Absinthe-ready? Or just plain gormless? You be the judge!

my picture

By Admin on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 12:14 pm: Edit

But Ian McKellan is the FIRST openly gay man to be featured on a BK cup!!!

I've got tix for 10am tomorrow morning ... how 'bout you???

Kallisti (who had a babysitter named Gandalf & went to school with a girl named Galadriel ... ah, BERKELEY)

By Zman7 on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 12:13 pm: Edit

There really are those light up glasses. My daughter brought one home and the first thing to cross my mind was, "Could this work for absinthe?"

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 12:07 pm: Edit

Whoah there ... I called BJ a BRIGHT nitwit.

They're going to rename some of Tolkien's works:

-- "The (Whopper) Habit"
-- "The Fellowship of the Onion Ring"
-- "The Return of the Burger King"

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:59 am: Edit

And wait a minute... didn't Chevalier just call Blackjack a nitwit? And what about the real issue.. are batteries included?

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:57 am: Edit

I've always been hot for Stryder.

My ex-husband has hairy hobbit feet.

And whatever you do, do not call a hobbit an elf..

By _Blackjack on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:43 am: Edit

Hey, they let Peter ("Meet the Feebles") Jackson make the movies. If they have to hawk some silly cups to foot the bill, it's OK by me...

By Chevalier on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:42 am: Edit

Never mind the nitwits who sell goblets and shit ... it's the nitwits who buy them that alarm me. Especially the bright ones! (Nitwits, not goblets; although the goblets are bright too, with those lights of theirs, and ... oh, never mind.)

;-)

By Mr_Rabid on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:36 am: Edit

This is why I don't have TV.

I am going to the movie, but GODDAMN IT WHY???????

Where are the axes of the dwarves, sharp and red with the blood of the marketing department?

Where are the arrows of the elves, counted and scored for every dead burger pusher?

Where are the riders of Rohan, hooves crimsoned with trampled fuckwits?

By Cheri on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:14 am: Edit

Believe him, there really are...

By Mr_Rabid on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:09 am: Edit

I am scared to find out if there really are light up goblets at Burger King, or if you are fucking with us.

By _Blackjack on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:07 am: Edit

I just picked up one of the Lord of the Rings promotional light-up goblets from Burger King, and it turns out that the lower portion of the glass holds just the right amount for 5-to-1 dosing. Keep in mind, tho, that it's an orc-sized dose. I bet the red glow will look cool with Serpis...

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