A little light relief.

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Archive thru January 2002:A little light relief.
By Lordhobgoblin on Monday, January 14, 2002 - 11:51 am: Edit

Armour Class 5? Does that mean we're real hard bastards?


By Lordhobgoblin on Monday, January 14, 2002 - 11:48 am: Edit


I can see the merits of both sides of the ability grouping (so long as the groups exist within the same school). In a mixed ability class the 'more academically able' children can easily be slightly neglected as these children tend to cause less behaviour problems, are keen to learn and get on with their work. As a result often they end up not being challenged or stretched enough, which is doing them a disservice. The 'less academically able' fare a bit better than the 'more able' in mixed ability classes as their needs academic needs tend to stand out, they ten to have more behavioural difficulties and therefore they are impossible to 'ignore'. However it is argued that in a class made up of their own abilities the teacher can provide more focussed teaching and differentiated work between the many more differing ability levels as opposed to just setting 3 sets of work for 'High', 'Medium' and 'Less Able'. I've tried to differentiate by up to 6 different sets of work at times within my mixed-ablity class and it's just not practical to set more than 3 sets of work at a time.

On the other hand children do get stuck in their ability class groups (which is the fault of teachers who are often too busy to re-assess children as often as they should in an ideal world). Also children will only tend to rise to the level of what is expected of them. If a child is branded as 'thick' (which ability setting particularly if in a bottom class) then he/she will rise to the level of that expectation.

I'm definitely against set ability classes, but while in theory I'm against set ability grouping within a single class but in reality it is the only practical way to teach different ability children properly.

Another view which some of my left-wing teaching colleagues hold is that society wants us to brand children as 'thick' beacuse if children believe themselves to be so then their aspirations will be low and therefore they won't object to having a job in later life working behind a supermarket till etc. And of course businesses need a lot of such people to work for them in order to generate profits for the directors and shareholders. If everybody had high aspirations then nobody would want to do such jobs so best to brand a lot of people as 'thick' from an early age.


By _Blackjack on Monday, January 14, 2002 - 10:43 am: Edit

Hobgoblins have an armor class of 5 and goblins only have an armor class of 6...

By Larsbogart on Monday, January 14, 2002 - 10:13 am: Edit

when bart and homer simpson dumped lucky charms in a hole what grew overnight was a pixie, a nymph, a goblin [thats hobgoblin], a woodsprite, a nyad and katie couric. and a leprechaun.

By Barsnake on Monday, January 14, 2002 - 09:09 am: Edit

Anybody seen the FeEx commercial where they define Hobgoblin?

By Mr_Rabid on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 01:54 pm: Edit

Vera, I am glad Hobby is here...

I am also glad you are. So what do you care if he is here anyhow? Just don't talk to him if you don't like him.

If people could be 'booted' this place would end up as a little tiny clique of people intellectually circle jerking each other. What would be the point without diversity and disagreement?

By Perruche_Verte on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 11:33 am: Edit

Yikes. Thanks for the correction re the UK educational system.

There is an ongoing debate inside and outside of my city's school system about the merits of ability grouping. The main criticism seems to be that although students are supposed to be able to move between groups, in practice they don't. Once they're tracked in, they tend to remain where they "belong" - perhaps because they've internalized adults' expectations of them. And I'm sure you can guess how class background relates to who's in the higher ability groups or not.


By Lordhobgoblin on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 10:10 am: Edit


The Education system in the UK is such that 80% of children attend State schools. Up until some years ago the whole State system was run in a way that at 11 years old all children sat their 'Eleven-Plus' test which 'decided' which children were clever (top 20%) and which children were dumb (the rest). The 20% who passed went to 'Grammar schools' where their whole education was geared from day 1 into educating them so that they would eventually pass their exams to gain entrance to a University (as this 20% would naturally become the leaders of society). The other 80% who failed the eleven-plus test went to a 'Secondary Modern' school where their education was geared to training them for non-professional careers.

About 15 years ago this system was by and large abolished and now most children leave 'Primary' school at 11 and go to a 'Comprehensive' school which educates children of all abilities. They do stream classes by ability but at least the children go to the same school, can move between the streams and most importantly opportunities are open to all.

However the Grammar school system does still exist as a handful of Local Education Authorities hung on to this and allowed the Grammar schools in their region to remain, whilst all their Secondary Moderns changed to Comprehensive (except Northern Ireland where the old system remains with no Comprehensives). In these LEAs the children whose parents want them to try to gain entrance to a (State) Grammar school they take the (now optional) eleven-plus test. The test is now held in the Grammar Schools as Primary Schools in these LEAs are supposed to officialy have nothing to do with the Eleven-plus test anymore.

A long-winded answer but you did ask. What else would you expect from a Primary School teacher (who works for an LEA which unfortunately still has a number of Grammar schools).

Oxygenee summed it up in fewer words than I did.

(On another point I am trying hard not to take politics seriously any more but its hard to unlearn a 20 year-old habit.)

By Oxygenee on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 06:47 am: Edit

No, its a tough selection process, and an upsetting one to those not chosen: those not creamed off must be cheesed off.

By Anatomist on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 06:36 am: Edit

OK, Lord H, what the hell does this clause mean: "a school were the most able children are creamed of and attend at the age of 11" ?

It sounds like some sort of horribly perverted pedopheliac assembly line involving automatic milking machines.


By Lordhobgoblin on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 02:24 am: Edit


I don't teach in a grammar school (the term over here refers to a school were the most able children are creamed of and attend at the age of 11). I teach in an ordinary state (public as you Americans call them) school in a working class, ethnically mixed area with social problems. Would I teach anywhere else?

As for jokes, spend 10 minutes in the school staff room at breaktimes or after school. Some of the jokes told there shock me and 80% of the staff telling these jokes are women.


By Lordhobgoblin on Sunday, January 13, 2002 - 02:15 am: Edit


I don't like you and you don't like me. That is no problem with me. I don't expect or even want people to like me (or to dislike me), that's up to them (it's their business and not mine). If they do they do, if they don't they don't, either way is fine by me.

If you don't like my posts then so long as they are not addressed to you then ignore them. I have as much right to post here as you have. If you don't like my jokes or opinions then that's up to you but I do have every right to post them.

This is the second time you've called for me to be booted off the forum, a forum where I was posting long before you showed up. This time you've asked fellow forumites what they think. They've given you their answer, now just accept it.


By Perruche_Verte on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 09:00 pm: Edit

Hobgoblin: Cool, stuffy like my uncles or the old guy who fixes my accordions. But I didn't think grammar school teachers were allowed to tell jokes like those.

Vera: Hello, Dali. Did Bowie die and make her Queen Bitch?

Who belongs here: Both of them. All of us.

By Anatomist on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 07:04 pm: Edit

Lord H has pissed me off a little in the past, but I have to admit, in retrospect, that such off-pissing was a direct function of my own self-seriousness. The only thing he seems to take seriously is left wing politics, which I find hilarious.

Speaking of self-seriousness, as a sometime absentee here, I am dismayed to find that Vera's ego has somehow inexplicably inflated to the size of the Macy's Underdog balloon in my absence. When I saw all of you lickspittles tonguing her backside over that turgid piece of 'zine graduate-school speak, I was at a loss. What gives?


By Etienne on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 06:43 pm: Edit

Add "deal" between good and more. (damn)

By Etienne on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 06:38 pm: Edit

LordH and I disagree on a great many subjects, some of which we've discussed on the forum. Agree or not, he has always been a gentleman, civil and well mannered.

A good more than can be said for some.

By Wolfgang on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 05:12 pm: Edit

I like Hobgoblin, he makes Vera angry...And she`s soo cute when she`s angry ! It makes her personality shine like a raging dragon ;-)

here's my cheek, ready for a slap...

By Marccampbell on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 03:26 pm: Edit

I like hobgoblin.

By Artemis on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 10:51 am: Edit

I laughed the first time I heard that SMOKIE joke and I laughed again when I read it here.

I also laughed when I read "Trolls yearn to claim your idiot's glory".

I think all regulars here have SOMETHING to offer.

If we keep remembering to behave as though we were all gathered in Kallisti's parlor in person, we will get along just fine.

By Heiko on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 09:48 am: Edit

now that's not nice, Vera!

By Verawench on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 09:26 am: Edit

Lordhobgoblin is an institution of idiocy and should be dismantled as such. I propose he be discredited, ridiculed and obliterated from this forum.

He is irritating, misogynistic and crass. He talks copiously and constantly but says nothing valuable or intelligent. He is a snarling pundit. He is an empty little wimp of a man that obsesses with soccer, bad jokes and politics because he possesses nothing akin to an actual personality.

I don't fucking like him. Does anyone here like him? Does he have any friends here or people that confide in him?

Anyway, that's my opinion.

By Don_Walsh on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 03:39 am: Edit

It's an old, VERY old joke. But funny. Vera, I assume that your assesment of Lord H was based on his holistic qualities and not merely on this one jocularity?

Personally, I think you are wrong, but, de gustibus and all that...

I suspect if you don't crap in his hat he won't shit on your head.

He and I are antithetical poles, politically, but I generally find him to be good of heart, just a bit naive. The line between romanticism and cynicism is often crossed but only in one direction.

Now, if I am missing some inside joke that he made and you took esception to, pls feel free to ignore all I have said. I will go back to applying full nelsons and nija death grips to balrogs and mickey finn-ing cave trolls. While making absinthe of course.

By Marccampbell on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 01:40 am: Edit

that joke is funny! Made me laugh.

By Lordhobgoblin on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 01:15 am: Edit

Apparently scientists have found that humans most intelligent gene is most commonly found in women. However, 98% of women spit it out...

By Lordhobgoblin on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 01:10 am: Edit

And you dear were last in line when senses of humour were being given out. If you don't like the thread then just fuck off, you uptight, PC-obsessed little prude.

It's a joke for God's sake!

By Verawench on Friday, January 11, 2002 - 03:40 pm: Edit

You are by far the most moronic individual on this forum. Trolls yearn to claim your idiot's glory.

By Lordhobgoblin on Friday, January 11, 2002 - 12:00 pm: Edit

A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family, and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort,thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are about making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog which had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "SMOKIE". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A few minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit smokie!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later, the woman had to let another one rip. This time, she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivalled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Smokie, get away from her before she sh1ts on you!"

Administrator's Control Panel -- Board Moderators Only
Administer Page |Delete Conversation |Close Conversation |Move Conversation