Who said professional footballers were thick?

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Archive thru January 2002:Who said professional footballers were thick?
By Tavarua on Sunday, January 27, 2002 - 09:06 am: Edit

"Over here, those could be quotes from the President"

Seriously, the only thing he's never been hooked on, is phonics.

By Lordhobgoblin on Sunday, January 27, 2002 - 05:15 am: Edit

Rod Stewart, Elton John & Kylie Minogue were all appearing at concerts in New York and were staying at the same hotel. They were all at an all night bash in the hotel bar and come daylight, Kylie, being well hammered by now, decided she was going outside to get some air.

A bit later, Rod and Elton decided to do the same and opted to go for a walk in Central Park. As they were strolling through the park, they suddenly came upon Kylie with her head stuck in the railings.

Rod, being the rake he is, walked up behind her, pulled up her skirt, pulled down her knickers, and gave her one. When he had finished, he stepped back and said to Elton "come on Elton, its your turn now". "Oh" said Elton, "I don't think I could possibly get my head through those railings".

By Artist on Saturday, January 26, 2002 - 02:44 pm: Edit

Bravo, Blackjack...you hit that sorry nail on the head...

By _Blackjack on Saturday, January 26, 2002 - 02:17 pm: Edit

Consider yourselves lucky. Over here, those could be quotes from the President...

By Heiko on Saturday, January 26, 2002 - 12:52 pm: Edit

I like the "empty crowd" :-)

By Mr_Rabid on Saturday, January 26, 2002 - 12:20 pm: Edit

It's like Zen buddhism.

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.'

By Lordhobgoblin on Saturday, January 26, 2002 - 10:55 am: Edit

Quotes from (mainly UK) professional soccer players.

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
- David Beckham

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
- Mark Viduka

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.'
- Ronnie Whelan

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.'
- David Beckham

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.'
- Neville Southall

We lost because we didn't win.'
- Ronaldo

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.'
- Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
- Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
- Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
- Stan Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.'
- Ade Akinbiyi

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
- Ian Wright

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
- Ugo Ehiogu

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.'
- Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.'
- Jonathan Woodgate

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
- Stuart Pearce

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.'
- Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.'
- Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.'
- Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.'
- David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukrainians will be more European.'
- Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
- Mitchell Thomas

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.'
- Johnny Giles

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
- Thierry Henry.

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.'
- Richard Rufus

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.'
- Vinny Jones

'If you don't concede any goals you'll win more games than you lose.'
- Wayne Bridge

'Do you remember when we played in Spain in the Anglo-Italian?'
- Shaun Newton

Who said footballers were thick?

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