Eatin' in the bush

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Archive thru February 2002:Eatin' in the bush
By Head_Prosthesis on Sunday, February 03, 2002 - 10:31 am: Edit

Pete Waz. Did a tour of Vietnam. Came back started workin' in a warehouse in the middle of Detroit. Skinny arms, skinny legs, no ass.
Pete was all gut. The all eating, no fuckin' around human garbage disposal. Cleaned the fridge out every night. Used to talk while eating and spit half chewed food and drool all over over whoever he was talking to. While in a seated postion and this occurred his "food catcher" was all ways there to make the save. He'd take whatever utensil or appendage he was currently using for shoveling and scoop it up back into his gaping maw. "FILL THE HOLE" I'd chant, "FILL THE HOLE".

One day Pete Waz eating a breakfast jam from the local Glop N'Slop. It wasn't bad looking food actually. This day though Pete Waz poking around in his hash browns and I leaned over and I said...

"What's that?"

"What's what," he replied.

"That thing in the hash browns that isn't shaped like a hash brown, that has wings and antenna?"

"Hmmm?" Pete fished around and flicked over to the bare side of the styrofoam container a perfectly fried golden cockaroacha.

It almost, almost looked enticing.

Other people took notice and expressed in horror their concern. "You ain't gonna eat that???" "You're just gonna keep eating that shit???"

He ignored them.

I asked him. "You gonna leave him there in the corner of that box?"

Pete said. "He won't eat that much."

Pete then told me a story about when he was in 'Nam. He and two guys were on patrol and hadn't been eating anything but bugs for 5 days. It was raining and they were soaked all the way through.
They came up over a hill and they smelled something. Food, real food. Some guy was cooking rice in a pot. They decided it was time to invite themselves in on some vittles.

The guy heard them coming and went for his gun.
"We shot 'im. Had to. It was him or us and we were hungry as fuck." Pete said. "I ain't proud about it but it was war."

I looked at him real serious and said "That's understandable. War's hell isn't Pete?"

"Yes, it is" he sighed.

"Why didn't you just eat the mother fucker, you coulda got a few good steaks out of 'im?"

Pete just leaned back in his chair and grinned as he scooped up the last of the hash browns and the cockaroacha...

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