|By Verdigris_Harpy on Saturday, March 09, 2002 - 07:20 pm: Edit|
Subject: How to know if you're a Californian
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 a year and still don't qualify to buy a
3. You take a bus and are shocked to find 2 people carrying on a
conversation in English.
4. Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring,
and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember.....Is pot illegal?????
10. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
11. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas costs 75 cents more per gallon than anywhere else in the
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless
chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about
"STORM WATCH 2000."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy
Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 p.m. Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are
all busy with their cellphones or pagers.
21. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to
avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is pot illegal????
23. You AND your dog have therapists.
24. Added:If absinthe was legal,Californians
would make salad dressing out of it and put
it on arugula.Also,shampoo,which would also
be organic,and edible.
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