Light relief

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Archive thru March 2002:Light relief
By Lordhobgoblin on Monday, March 18, 2002 - 11:38 am: Edit

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel,
and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes lined up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu's grandma came around the corner. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her
grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some. "Wow, that's awfully nice of them. I think
I'll get some for myself", and she proceeded to the back of the line. A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the
prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied,
"Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."

The policeman fainted.....

By Lordhobgoblin on Monday, March 18, 2002 - 11:35 am: Edit

Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He see the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total
isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Ned....Your neighbour from 40 miles away....Having a party Friday....Thought you might like to come. About 5..."

"Great" says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Ned is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's
gonna be some drinkin." "Not a problem....after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Ned stops. "
More'n likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Ned turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's really not a problem" says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?" Ned stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."

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