Talk You Can Smell

Sepulchritude Forum: The Absinthe Forum Archive Thru March 2002: Talk You Can Smell
By Nancywhiskey on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 06:36 pm: Edit

Louch'e, I use the zippo to light the match. No hands. Just feet and ass you silly jockey. In fact I have no hands or forearms left. Sounds like Harpy has gourmet tastes. Nancy likes to slop up that gravy with her biscut.

By Louched_Liver on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 05:59 pm: Edit

Nah, Varpy, ya got us all wrong. We just couldn't wade through the e.e. cummings to the 10th power onslaughts. Shit bes better now.

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 05:56 pm: Edit

And you all thought I was a nasty ghastly
girl.I like giblet ripple ice cream best.
With a scoop of stuffing on top.
And a momo's bisquit on the side...

By Louched_Liver on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 05:48 pm: Edit

Match? What match? I thought you kept it local and used a Zippo. Traitor to the Keystone. Snaggle-toothed pucker butt.
How's about you switch your ass (literally) to Red Man?
Just a pinch between your cheek and cheek.

By Nancywhiskey on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 05:41 pm: Edit

I should have see it comming. My ass is now giving the foot rubs. Just nibbling now, but soon devouring. Sensidine not Crest, brother. Flicking the butt is easy, try lighting the match for real talent. Back to my Chicken Ripple ice cream in my lonely burrow.

By Louched_Liver on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 05:13 pm: Edit

I know for a fact Nancy W. puts dental floss in their Underoos. Now I know why. I guess Crest on some Charmin is coming soon.

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 03:52 pm: Edit

They say that happens with all good things...
at least there is still chocolate and
Paul Williams.....

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 03:32 pm: Edit

Verdigris:
They're on to us. Just when it was getting good.
Larsbogart

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 03:30 pm: Edit

Nancywhiskey:
Thanks for all the Info. Its a little more than I
care to know about your ass though.
I hate to burst your bubble but you couldnt have seen this particular ass person. It must have been another.
Can I reccommend that new Charmin with aloe you wont get stuck again.
I dont smoke, but can I ask how do you flick your ciggy with your sphincter? Scratch that with your nails, I dont want to know.
Oh yeah, You've been following me, havent you? Im on to you Bettina.
Nancywhiskey, my foot rub!
larsbogart

By Nancywhiskey on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 02:11 pm: Edit

Lars, I think I saw this talking ass man at the Kempton Fair many years ago. The Kempton Fair has more body odor per sq. acre than anywhere that I have ever been. I was not able to discern B.O. from A.O. What a show! The years had passed and I forever wondered what became of the Talking Ass Man. You see, I was afraid that once a human allows his ass to become disobedient, the ass may try to take over body and soul. I am relieved to learn the fate of T.A.Man but at the same time have realized my own dilemma. You see my ass has been shooting off its mouth and blowing smoke (you know smoke, right?) for many years now. As my ass was gargling last week I looked in and saw what appeared a nub of a tooth. So now must I shit out the nub or go blind? The poppy's are on their way!

PS-Harpy if you must do me in for breaking the thread please pull my teeth first. All of them,it will be a benifit to all humanity.

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:47 pm: Edit

Love and cherishment and chocolate and a nip.

By Baz on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:44 pm: Edit

I just wanted to be a part of things...
to be loved-
cherished-
lovingly bitten by harpy-(not hard)


well, back to court

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:26 pm: Edit

I will banish them.

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:25 pm: Edit

Only if my stainless steel teeth are involved
and you bite me .Blood cleans up nicely
from stainless steel.


I like cherry coke.My favorite sodie -pop.

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:18 pm: Edit

Baz:
Id call you a whore-gay but its too funny, and you have made it clear you dont suck.
Larsbogart

By Baz on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 12:03 pm: Edit

Broke the cherry-

You wouldn't hurt me, would you, harpy??

Love and hat in hand

baz

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 11:59 am: Edit

Verdigris:
Before I leaving for Erie,Transylvannia Id like to say how much I enjoy our very own thread. Could you please stand guard and if anyone tries posting here send them to a Bettina thread. You may use violence if needed.
Larsbogart

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 11:51 am: Edit

Ok.Poppies with choccie chip seeds stuffed inside
for Lars.Let's knock over the totem pole,cut off it's head,put a Lars head made of papier mache
and catfur out of it on top,and ressurect it then do dances to Paul Willams songs around it.

That should make you better and spring you from the non-linear ward of MUMS Asylum.But I will
miss our daily walks through the green fogs
on the paths behind the badminton courts.

Choclolate is God's tears.

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 10:26 am: Edit

Verdigris:
I will be back at work next Monday. At that time I will be forced to refrain from posting.
larsbogart

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 09:12 am: Edit

Verdigris:
Did I forget to mention that I am the lowest order on the totem pole here?
I am the lowest order on the totem pole here.
Last night I dreamt I had a breakthrough: the tar had long been gone and also the pod tea so I had a bowel movement of chocolate chips. I know...
Its Back to the bakery for poppyseed bagles, i reckon, springs here.
New policy at MUMS Asylum: Poppy's are now permitted.
Larsbogart

By Verdigris_Harpy on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 08:52 am: Edit

Lars was assaulted by H.P Lovecraft's
ghost last night,and Cthulu hit him over the
head with a frying pan and made him incontinent.

Lars needs chocolate.And another Oscar for
Lars!

Send all Oscars and chocolate to: Lar's
Room.Miskatonic University Medical School
Asylum.They do'nt allow flowers.

By Larsbogart on Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 07:42 am: Edit

[Please insert more digs into what you post for example:]
did I Ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk?
WSB


Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? His whole
abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was
unlike anything I had ever heard.

"This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there
like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it
feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose?
Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant
sound, a sound you could smell.

"This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a
novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he
called "The Better 'Ole' that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of
it but it was clever. Like, "Oh I say, are you still down there, old
thing?'

"'Nah! I had to go relieve myself.'

"After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without
anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him
every time.

"Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in- curving hooks and
start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built and act around
it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking
on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk,
too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same
as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you
could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with
his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the
asshole said to him: 'It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me.
Because we don't need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND
shit.'

"After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly
like a tadpole's tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the
scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any
kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the
pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow
there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth
sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous-
except for the EYES you dig. That's one thing the asshole COULDN'T do was
see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and
infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn't give orders any more. It
was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the
silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the
brain must have died, because the eyes WENT OUT, and there was no more
feeling in them than a crab's eyes on the end of a stalk.

Administrator's Control Panel -- Board Moderators Only
Administer Page |Delete Conversation |Close Conversation |Move Conversation