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The Fée Verte Absinthe Forum - The Oldest, Largest, Most Authoritative Absinthe Forum. > The Monkey Hole > Under the Bridge
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Robert Bruce Baird
This is an article that might provoke some thought.

http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/showa.cgi?C=26600
Absomphe
I understand where you're coming from, but why THIS particular forum?

Or are you "pepper spraying" a random bunch of forums with your own article, in which case I'll chalk this up to a vanity post, and give a user posted image
Hiram
So Bob, how did you become interested in absinthe? Got any favorites?
Hiram
Ah. Shameless self-promo from a confessed over-acheiver.
Absomphe
I SWEAR, Hiram...

I was lying in wait for you to make almost exactly that post! worshippy.gif ful Master!
Hiram
And a crackpot to boot. Go read some of that stuff.
Absomphe
I wonder if he's a descendant of the original Robert the Bruce.

Nah...
thegreenimp
Somebody call the "Executioner" from the Apollo Theater, and tell him to bring the big hook. frusty.gif
traineraz
You were SUPPOSED to ignore him. frusty.gif
Hiram
Nah. Unlike a troll, this guy we can truly humiliate.
Absomphe
yes.gif
DenSetsu
Hello, I am a ‘renaissance man’, who has absolutely nothing to say about absinthe. Did I mention I’m a millionaire? Fall worshipfully at my feet, absintheurs.
celticgent
lystie?
DenSetsu
Who? I was talking about Robert Bruce Baird. Hmmmm. Use of the middle name, sounds like a serial killer to me.
celticgent
sorry, that was a lounger joke.

carry on.
DenSetsu
I have obviously not spent enough time in the lounge.
celticgent
no big loss.

for either party. pirate2.gif

Hiram
QUOTE (DenSetsu @ Dec 13 2004, 10:34 AM)
Use of the middle name, sounds like a serial killer to me.

One too many Mel Gibson movies for you.
Absomphe
Lystie ain't no millionaire with those easy-t0-see-through Ebay fakes of hers...

Oh, wait, there's that 100 average I.Q. issue.

Shit, maybe she's a multi-millionaire by now!
Conju
Coincidentally, Robert Baird is the the name of the man who founded our fraternity.

This robert baird however sounds like a douche.
morgueann
At least he placed this in the proper part of the forums . . . . . . .



Unless ol Head or Mrs. Head moved another mountain behind our backs.
Absomphe
Nope.

This thread was here when Robert the Bruce(not) posted it.
I_B_Puffin
I'm disappointed in you guys. You weren't nearly insulting enough. Try harder, this guy was really asking for it.
Absomphe
You're right, IB.

I've gotta lay off the "nice" pills.
BlackJack
QUOTE (Absomphe @ Dec 9 2004, 03:33 PM)
I wonder if he's a descendant of the original Robert the Bruce.

I'm decended from Robert the Bruce's grandfather, or something like that. Of course, this is based on a genealogy done by a Mormon with whom I share a great-great-grandmother, so it goes all the way back to Adam.
Absomphe
Adam who? harhar.gif
traineraz
Ant.
Absomphe
Better than Sandler.
Barsnake
Dirk wears white sox!
jacflash
QUOTE (Robert Bruce Baird @ Dec 9 2004, 07:00 AM)
This is an article that might provoke some thought.

http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/showa.cgi?C=26600

Man, you're a crap-o writer. Might I suggest you get a copy of Strunk and White and maybe start over?
Hiram
"Never good enough for Mommy - I'll never catch up with Daddy."

From his bio:

QUOTE
At a young age growing up with a father who had read the total complement of books in a library as a teenager and older brothers who had read Moby Dick by grade two,
I had to compete.  ...

... they let me in early due to the obvious  success of my oldest brother who was already teaching adults in the military while still in grade eight.

... School bored me...

... At the age of about 30 I was a millionaire and wrote College Equivalency tests to by pass a BA and got into the best business university through a very exclusive program that required getting over 75%-ile in the Princeton GMAT among other things.

... I had married a teacher who I loved so much I had given my all for ten years to get married. But she found living with a forever commitment too hard to enjoy and we got divorced...

...  For the past three years I have been writing about a book every six weeks.


Of course he's a crap-o writer. This guy is a mess.
Absomphe
So were many of the truly great writers.

His problem is that he's a mess sans talent.
thegreenimp
QUOTE (Robert Bruce Baird @ Dec 9 2004, 08:00 AM)
Oh, I was written up as a new Horatio Alger


You mean you were a pederast like Horatio Alger poop.gif


http://www.nypress.com/16/6/news&columns/oldsmoke.cfm

Horatio Alger

"He took a very special interest in the parish’s boys, taking them on walks in the woods, playing ball and organizing games, entertainments and festivals. This idyll ended on March 20, 1866, when, according to Edwin S. Hoyt’s Horatio’s Boys, a parish committee heard a report that Alger had buggered the son of an influential parishioner and at least one other boy."
rjordan
Hey, NealandBobbrucebairdwhatever, I wasted 30 seconds skimming that stupid ass article of yours. I want my 30 seconds back. If'n I ever see you I'm gonna take them 30 seconds out of your ass.

On another note, good to see some of the old (meaning, been around here longer than me) schoolers here. Blackjack, Greenimp, Barsnake, Celty, to name a few. Although I see Celty over at the Lounge all to often. Love ya kid.

Anyway, bobupanddownonmyknobbairdbrucefuckhead, take care and welcome to the forum ya fuck. Disregard everything in this post as I am not even here. You are imagining me right now, naked covered in peanut butter. Seriously, you are.

gun thug.gif
grey boy
Seriously, ignore him,
I've met him.
rjordan
You've met Robertbrucebaird? When? Does he live around here?


gun thug.gif
Absomphe
Why, are you looking for an excuse to light up those old Molotovs?
traineraz
QUOTE (rjordan @ Dec 26 2004, 04:08 PM)
You are imagining me right now, naked covered in peanut butter. Seriously, you are.

Nobody wants to imagine you naked, covered in peanut butter.

That's why GB said to ignore you.
rjordan
QUOTE
Nobody wants to imagine you naked, covered in peanut butter.


Except you.

QUOTE
Why, are you looking for an excuse to light up those old Molotovs?

Um, no. GB lives near me. I thought if GB seen this cat then he may live near me too. Then I would have an excuse to light up...oh.

gun thug.gif
Absomphe
yes.gif
amythalwaysgreen
QUOTE (DenSetsu @ Dec 13 2004, 11:34 AM)
Who? I was talking about Robert Bruce Baird. Hmmmm. Use of the middle name, sounds like a serial killer to me.

Serial killer, blues musician or just a plain pompous ass?
amythalwaysgreen
QUOTE
ACCREDITATION: - Scholastic regimentation from the post WWII period has accelerated to the point that Canada won't let an Olympic figure skating medalist teach or coach young Canadians the errors and damages of the present system.


Does this make sense to anyone?
Absomphe
QUOTE (amythalwaysgreen @ Mar 28 2005, 02:54 PM)
or just a plain pompous ass?

Hey, watch it...

I resemble that remark! bobw.gif
Breson
QUOTE (amythalwaysgreen @ Mar 28 2005, 01:57 PM)
QUOTE
ACCREDITATION: - Scholastic regimentation from the post WWII period has accelerated to the point that Canada won't let an Olympic figure skating medalist teach or coach young Canadians the errors and damages of the present system.


Does this make sense to anyone?

If you spoke Canadian it would make perfect sense.

Translation: They wont allow it as they shouldn't oughta never had done nothing like that, ehhh
zachM
What the bloody hell was that article about? I think he might have mental handicaps of some kind to write that kind of shit. More so given he wanted us to read it. What does someone expect from a bunch of drunken assholes. Just because someone is retarded we arent gonna lighten up. Go to hell you taco stand owner.
Morgoth
A donkey with a pen up his arse makes more sense.

QUOTE
A sheepskin or a diploma does not accredit a person or ensure they know what they are doing, and why.


Frustrated you never got one? Keep in mind though that the piece of paper you recieved from your doctor with the reddish letters "INSANE" is NOT a diploma.

Anyway, I don't feel like wasting more words on this matter. I'd also like to get back my lost time on you.
Stroller
Robert Baird,
Diverse Druids
(Invisible College, 2003)



Robert Baird has some ... interesting theories, which can probably be neatly summed up in this quote from pages 129-130 of Diverse Druids: "Yes, there are many Jews who are Keltic and directly connected to the builders of the Pyramid who colonized Egypt from many of the far flung colonies of this worldwide Phoenician Atlantean enterprise." Baird appears to believe that the entire ancient world, with the exception of Rome and Greece and their respective empires, was populated by either Atlanteans or Celts -- excuse me, "Kelts" -- or both. It is his contention, for instance, that the Great Pyramid was designed by druids.

The problem with Baird's theories is that they contradict established anthropology, archaeology and scholarship. He is an admitted conspiracy theorist and believes that the "Merovingians" (the first kings of what would eventually become France) conspired with the Catholic Church to suppress ancient knowledge and technologies -- but he offers no proof for his assertions. He quite often hints at various connections and conspiracies, but then neatly avoids providing any background material by saying that that is a discussion for another time, or that he has no room for that topic, or that it is outside the scope of the present work. At one point, he criticizes a certain Roman writer for using the phrase "it is said," and yet, on numerous occasions, he does the exact same thing, using phrases like "I believe."

Baird's writing style presents another difficulty. Childish and awkward, it is exceedingly difficult to follow. Although Diverse Druids is passed off as an academic treatise (though Baird gleefully acknowledges that he has no academic credentials), the author intrudes himself far too much into the work, and the result reads more like a blog full of personal rants. He will make a statement or present a theory, then shoot off on a tangent, then suddenly shoot off on a tangent to that tangent and so on, until by the end of the paragraph, he's miles -- if not continents -- away from where he started. Many of his statements simply make no sense, such as one in which he mentions a Russian archaeological site in which curved mammoth tusks were found straightened. No one could figure out how the tusks had been straightened and he concludes, "I guess they never cooked carp."

He also quotes other authors, sometimes at great length (one quote ran over two pages), without setting the quoted text off from the main text, so that the only way the reader can tell that he's quoting other material is that the quality of the writing improves dramatically. According to his author's bio, for the last three years, Baird has been writing a book about every six weeks, which is by all means impressive. However, he might have done better to slow down his schedule and gone back and edited his writing for grammar and clarity.

And yet ... like a train wreck, Diverse Druids is also weirdly compelling -- if only to see what Baird is going to say next, or how far we have to go before aliens enter into it.

- Rambles
written by Laurie Thayer
published 23 October 2004
Morgoth
Hehe, nice research Stroller biggrin.gif

QUOTE(Stroller @ Jan 5 2006, 05:54 AM) *

though Baird gleefully acknowledges that he has no academic credentials


I was right shock.gif
Twice, even:

QUOTE(Stroller @ Jan 5 2006, 05:54 AM) *

Many of his statements simply make no sense


Though the latter was probably common knowledge amongst us all.
I do think I like that Laurie Thayer though, is there any way we can thank her?
badger
Sounds like my Western Civ teacher.
Stroller
I thought she was sorta funny when she stated

"He also quotes other authors, sometimes at great length (one quote ran over two pages), without setting the quoted text off from the main text, so that the only way the reader can tell that he's quoting other material is that the quality of the writing improves dramatically."

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