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The Fée Verte Absinthe Forum - The Oldest, Largest, Most Authoritative Absinthe Forum. > The Monkey Hole > Arts & Philosphical Sundries
hissykitties
To quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
jacal01
Beach Blanket Bingo!
traineraz
IPB Image
Fredie
This must be Thursday......

(Well, in Oz at least)
grey boy
I thought this thread was going to be about Icarus.
crosby
Me too. I hate to think he might have been right about something.
traineraz
WTF IS Icky, anyway?

He must be REAL busy.
jacal01
Two families moved from Afghanistan to America. When they arrived, the two fathers made a bet -- in a year's time whichever family had become more Americanized would win.

A year later they met. The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"

The second man replied, "Fuck you, towel head."
Absomphe
QUOTE(Fredie @ May 25 2006, 09:55 AM) *

This must be Thursday......

(Well, in Oz at least)


I thought it was always always "Don't Drop the Soapday", in Oz.

Stroller
frusty.gif
Kirk
Remember folks;
There's almost no sweeter way to say "I love you " than "bring a towel".
traineraz
And somehow, you're still married??
Kirk
What can I say, she's a neat freak.
jacal01
Yep, nothing makes a more lasting impression than drapes training.
Amdusias
uses for a towel

1. Wear it.

2. Protect yourself from the Ravenous Bug-blatter Beast Of Trall with it.

3. Soak nutricious substances (and/or anti-depressants) into it for easy carrying.

4. Sleep under it.

5. Use it for drying yourself off with.

6. Use it to blindfold beings so you can get them to go where you want.

7. Use it to incapacitate security robots

8. Thread handy pieces of wire (or similar) into it.

9. Carry useful things around the Galaxy in it.

10. Distract Perfectly Normal Beasts with it.

11. Use it to make a hard rock more comfortable.

12. Use it as a sun-shade on hot bearly habitable planets.

13. Use it as a 'Linus Blanket'

14. Use it as a sail when stranded at sea.

15. Use it to wrap your camera lenses in so they don't get covered in salt when sailing to Norway and back on a raft.

16. Use it for winning arguments about wind-speed velocity.

17. Use it as a particularly ineffective bookmark

18. Use it to wrap your sandwiches in for that fresh clean taste,

19. A one person changing room with a "liable to fall down at any time" door.

20. A giraffe excluder - roll it up, lay below door ... hey presto, no giraffes ... or drafts for that matter

21. Aftersun - soak in cold water and drape over burnt area ...

22. Use it to sit on in a naturist camp (this is a real use and a demonstration of naturist etiquette).

24. As well as lying on it whilst sunbathing, it can be used to cover sensitive bits, eg feet, head.

25. Soak it in cold water and use to soothe the fevered brow.

27. Use round nether regions as a nappy/diaper either for real or at a fancy dress party.

28. Use as an emergency curtain.

29. Lay it on the floor next to the bed at night so you step on it and not the cold floor first thing in the morning.

30. Drape it on the sofa to keep the sofa from collecting pet hair.

31. Snap it at people (or beasts) you wish to repel.

32. Lay it over vents to prevent things falling into them.

33. Use as part of a giant patch-work towel project.

34. Wipe dew off the windscreen in the mornings before your commute.

35. Use it to cover your car windscreen overnight to prevent the hard frost seting on it.

36. Wrap it around the bottom of the Christmas tree to hide the cheesy plastic base.

37. Wrap it around your head to hide the evidence of your embarrassing attempt at home hair color.

38. Use it as a pillow.

39. Use it to buff your shoes with (instead of your trouser leg)before going in to see your boss.

40. Use it to hide presents in.

41. Use it to mop up spillages with.

42. Use it as a field-dressing.

43. Use towel as sling to fire small pebbles at people.

44. A towel as a big bib for a big baby!

45. Use as a table cloth

46. Head cloth in the desert

47. White towels with two holes make useful ghosts

48. Just a simple decoration on a door handle

49. Use of a red towel for a Superman costume
hissykitties
It's that time again...
Wild Bill Turkey
IPB Image
traineraz
. . . and still no sign of the Dink.
Icarus
Did someone mention my name?

... don't forget to bring a towel.
aeldyth
Oddly enough, I watched the DVD yesterday morning. I can understand where the script writers got the idea.

I carried a large towel (non-govenment issue) in my duffel bag when I travelled.
Whether in Kentucky or Panama (or anywhere else for that matter), it was quite useful for many things other than drying.

Aeldyth
fryke
Before that script, there was a radio series, a couple of books and a TV series. But most importantly, a man whose idea this was. ("The script writers" is far too ignorant, sorry.)
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