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The Fée Verte Absinthe Forum - The Oldest, Largest, Most Authoritative Absinthe Forum. > The Monkey Hole > Corn Hole
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Wilson
Here are the rules. Try not to write more than one sentence at a time.


__________________________________________________________________________


I was digging around in the cellar when the lights went out.
Head_prosthesis
My Aunt Gladys, always the prankster, backed her rear end up to the dog door and let rip a raucous yet delighfully fruity, cabbage fart.
Le Gimp
A scream reverbated off the alley wall outside.
bob_chong
Little did she know, it was National Gorilla Suit Day.
Provenance
Not take your clothes off for work day.
Neptunati
So the little whore went around town beating children with a 14" double dong.
Alice the absinthe eater
Until the police showed up, but failed to do anything because they were to busy watching.
absinthist
In the meantime, spacecraft, full of jumping ectoplasmatic dodo-like humanoids has landed on the pavement and then it all began.
Tibro
The small green beings with surgical precision inserted corks into every available orifice, causing great discomfort to Aunt Gladys, not to mention a potential resounding shot which would be heard throughout the dark back alley and down into the now match-lit recesses of the cellar, were she to blow.
louched liver
I changed the channel.
Wilson
CNN was showing video of the invasion complete with interviews of the aliens.
dakini_painter
"Turn off that damn TV George, the aliens are right at our door!", yelled Marge.
absinthist
"Shuddup, you, stupid woman!", exclaimed George politely, "can't you see I am thinking?", he added with all his joyous attitude towards life, so typical of a middle-aged Estonian.
Absomphe
Until he realized he was actually Latvian.
louched liver
And a lapsed Lutheran.
absinthist
"But being Latvian-Estonian Lutheran would prevent the disaster?", asked George himself, scribbling something on the today's paper; Marge was not hearing him, "who cares?", he added in thoughts.
Tibro
He couldn't help but chuckle when he noticed that his scribblings looked exactly like the mad, indecipherable communiques of an overly inebriated Pole.
Pataphysician
The scribblings formed a trapezoidal configuration as one often finds in the open fields at the outskirts of a dusk-enshrouded city occupied by movers and shakers who congregate to plan the further mystification of those they deem to be lesser beings, on account of their complicity in a process that brings about such things, even without their awareness, as they are instead engaged in staring at the oncoming stars which will soon dot the sky like dots over their bewildered heads, announcing the night which ushers in all kinds of unexpected activities, the kinds that they ought to have expected if they only had the wherewithal to retain the mindset they had as children, but which had been lost so long ago, as so often is the case in times when philosophy is no match for expediency, at which point one of them suddenly cried out to George: "There it is!"
Wilson
He turned just in time to see 3 Balls Bob in his gorilla suit round the corner on a bicycle, and crash into the spaceship.
Provenance
Made of papier-mâché by Mademoiselle Petroni's fifth grade students.
Steyr850
who, for the civic-minded lot they are, decided to help raise money by mowing lawns.
absinthist
If it had not been for the fact, these malicious sneaky benevolent creatures were not from the outer space, oh no, but they were mutants who having overindulged into Czech beers-transformed into this what they were; but George little knew WHAT they were.
louched liver
They were tired.
Wilson
And tired of it.
louched liver
And tiring to be around.
Steyr850
Tyres R round.
Head_prosthesis
a low rumbling was coming… BURRRM !!! burm burm burm, BURRRRM !!! burm burm burm BURRRRM!!!
Steyr850
George yelled out, "Gimpy?"
absinthist
But the distance echoed "gentiane!"
louched liver
Grate…
absinthist
Thought George, confused more than before when the whole invasion took place, not only here but on the other planets as well.
louched liver
Sewer grates.
dakini_painter
But out from behind the buildings the sound came again, BRRRRRM! BRRRRRRM! and around the corner came a dozen Hells Angels roaring on their bikes right over the sewer grates straight towards the alien spaceship, guns blazing.
louched liver
Naked under
their chaps and
w/glints in their
brown eyes.
Provenance
Waving bottles of Jade.
G&C
The whole earth blew up!
Head_prosthesis
Butt Bizzaro Land survived with Bizzaro George rootin' around in a darkened root cellar, hearing loud yet fragrant fart noises from the Bizzaro dog door of Bizzaro Aunt Gladys.
louched liver
They were fragrant,
in a dizzying way.
Absomphe
"Wait a minute, it's not 2012 yet, stupid fuckin' Mayans", bellowed our furious Latvian protagonist, as he realized he didn't have a minute, and died like everything, and everyone else, except for the fortunate few who escaped in a secret spacecraft, looking for another planet to colonize, like the stinking bacteria that they were.
louched liver
The end.
Head_prosthesis
As the bard rode off into the sunset, Bizzaro George, of recent Mari Mayan decent, shot an arrow through back of the melodick A-hooliee.
The Standard Deviant
That was it — The End — the name of the Latvian's favourite bar; favourite apart from the way that, since the smoking ban, the ugly regulars in the corner were no longer obscured by smoke.
louched liver
But by magic.
Alice the absinthe eater
With out the smoke around to obscure their faces it was clear to see that they were all really made out of old rusty childrens tricycles.
Steyr850
Smokin Monkey.gif
Weeeeee!
louched liver
Is this a 60 watt?
Steyr850
Bulbous
fixture
louched liver
W/tansy-tits threads?
Absomphe
Absent tits.
Steyr850
by-George
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