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Full Version: Uses for Czech Crap?
The Fée Verte Absinthe Forum - The Oldest, Largest, Most Authoritative Absinthe Forum. > Absinthe & Absinthiana > Absinthe Brands Discussion
adavies42
OK, I've been had. I'm now the thoroughly ashamed owner of a bottle of really awful Czech "absinth". Next time, I'll read Fée Verte reviews first. Unfortunately, it's open, so I can't send it back, so I'm now wondering if there's anything I can do with it besides clean car parts. The reviews (the ones I read too late) often say "not bad as bitters, just not absinthe", so I ask: what do you do with bitters? Are there cocktails I can make with it that don't taste like eating baking soda straight? I'd like to recover at least a little of my wasted money here. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Jaded Prole
You could put it in with your gas to go a few more miles before filling up.
Absomphe
'Cept you might corrode the tank.

And comparing the typical Czechsinkth to any decent bitters is an insult to the latter.
Patlow
What color is it? Maybe you can paint with it.
Tibro
It's probably more like paint stripper.
Patlow
Good point! Paint a stripper!
Absomphe
Ha!

ToucheTushy!
OCvertDe
I hear it makes a great accelerant if you're trying to get a good fire going.

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Wolfgang
Keep it as a reference.



Eventually you will be offering absinthe to friends, then you can use it for comparaison so they could see how much difference there is between a good and a bad absinthe. That will let them appr/ciate the good stuf even more.

Provenance
Mebbie it's time to do away with the Czech Crap stereotype. Partly because there's apparently a Czech attempt to make a real absinthe, Absinthe St. Antoine. And partly because of all the non-Czech Crap.
smiley
Good point Provenance. However, it may not be such an easy stain to remove. Stereotypes die hard. I mean, (of course this doesn't translate), but it is analogous to assume that not ALL of the germans were involved in genocide, and yet they will be remembered in such a context by certain individuals for some time to come, even if the thought is merely existent. And I couldn't care less; czech absinth producers purposefully exploited the history of absinthe, the pretension of modern youth, and my own wallet. They got away with selling rubbing alcohol by the bottle! At 90 bucks a pop, those with meagre incomes won't soon forget czechsinth.

And, adavies42, keep the bottle as a reminder, lesson learned, lots of us have been there. I still have my bottle of Hills Absinth. :) …. :(
Tibro
Actually, we'll all be better served if we remember that swindlers are particular individuals behind particular brands. And if those individuals pop up anew in fresh form as the markets evolve we should be quick to remember who they are and brand them as what they are.

I for one would not like to see Martin Zufanek and his St. Antoine absinthe have to bear the burden of having to dig out from under the label of Czechsinth. He's doing something much better and deserves better for it.
smiley
Schindler's Absinthe™

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Tibro
Smiley's pile.

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synthetic buddhist
Swindler's Piss?
smiley
QUOTE(Tibro @ Dec 11 2008, 05:07 PM) *

Smiley's pile.

poop.gif



And where is Tibro's argument? I love Tibro's digital expression, but words speak better than emoticons.


The MAJORITY of czech absinth, (with the exception of one or two MEDIOCRE brands), is swill. I know it, you know it. Forgive me, but they comprehensively lied to consumers, ruined absinthe's name and is CONTINUING TO DO SO. Sadly, stereotypes have some basis in truth, else they would not be passed aorund by word of mouth so much. They are much like guidelines, not absolutes. In analogy, I would ask you:

Tibro, would you much rather have your clothes made from fine Italian silk and fabrics, or the EXACT same product made in china?

Obviously the product is not such as by virtue of country of origin, since culture is learned, but herein lies the stereotype, and such small amount of truth.
Funky D
Apologies for bringing this thread back on topic, but any college frat party would gladly take the bottle off your hands. If you stick around for the show, you could probably witness it being set afire, being slurped out of navels, being set afire in navels and then doused with Busch Light, and/or being mixed with Busch Light and downed from a 2-story beer bong.
Provenance
Sounds like what I do with Jade.
absinthist
How does it improve?
Absomphe
3X the burnt™ for the buck.
Redgloam
I bought a Czech absinth once. AFTER reading all the crappy reviews about it, on purpose. I wanted to see for myself what the deal was, why it was so terrible. I'd had maybe 10 different kinds of absinthe before my Czech purchase, most of which were french, so I was well acquainted with how I thought absinthe tasted. When I opened up the bottle I smelled it. All I got was alcohol. When I poured it, it was weak looking. No louche. No amount of sugar could assist the nastiness of the beverage. The Czech obviously have a different opinion of the way absinthe should taste, apparently, but I forced myself to drink all of it. Afterward, I was too embarrassed to keep the bottle. I didn't allow it to sit on the shelf with my other empty bottles.
sardonix
I did the same thing-bought Hill's while in Canada, even though I knew better. I wanted to see for myself what a crappy "absinth" tasted like compared to something better. Well, I found out. Was it worth the $80-90? I guess not when you consider what else I could have bought with that money, but it did serve as a reference point. (In this case, the low end of the scale). I have actually used up about 1/3 of the bottle experimenting with various mixtures…but never did find a viable solution.
Wolfgang
Many years ago I tasted some Sebor which was almost drinkable as an "herbal drink" (even if far from what a traditional absinthe should taste).



I even finished the bottle after a few weeks…but I'm a drunkyard ;-).



These days there are many much more interesting offerings out there, none from the Czech republic tho… If I was a czech with the Pernod Fils recipe in hand and willing to open a decent absinthe distillrie, I would move out of the country to open my business. Such is the strenght of the stereotype.

Tibro
I hope Martin Zufanek fights tooth and nail to destroy that stereotype. Stereotypes need to be defeated.
G&C
Impossible.
Tibro
Yeah, they said that about electing a US president from the state of Hawaii in the not-too-distant past as well, if I'm not mistaken. I may be mistaken.
Shabba53
I think we may have found the answer! Think the czechs reps are in on this too?

I think I'll order some then have a go at some KOSG.
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